Bonding with my 11 year old daughter

[pixiewicks]

I am finding bonding with my 11 year old a struggle at the moment, I had her young and feel really guilty as i work full time and sat mornings, I feel we are not close like other mums and daughter and I just don't know how to get like that. I have always struggled being a mum, i don't feel it has come naturally to me, but i feel bad i want a good bond with her and i know she just wants to be loved. I feel like all we do is argue, because I am working alot and am 26 weeks pregnant nd tired, now I have another baby coming along I don't want her to feel like I have forgotten her for a new baby. I feel gulty all the time because i do snap at her and she just wants to be out with her friends because home isn't a happy place, does anyone have any advice i know I will probably get criticised but all i am asking for is a little help and advice?

Thanks in advance.

 

[hellohefalump]

I don't have an eleven yr old, so I don't really know what I'm talking about...

But could you arrange to do things together, like go out for a meal, just you and her, or take her shopping or if you've got the money, even a little holiday?

 

[lauandbump]

I would try and spend some quality time with her hun and work on building the bond. Could you dedicate a day (or half a day) each weekend just for you and her? Make sure you stick to it as much as possible and do something special. Just being together can be lovely, you don't have to spend a fortune. Take her for a coffee, shopping, a walk and talk... She is becoming a teenager soon and will want to have her mum on her side and as her best friend and i'm sure with work you can get there. Good luck xxxx

 

[cooper2010]

Go together to get your nails done. That should interest both of you! If you think its going to get worse, maybe you should try talking to someone with her before the baby comes.

 

[julietz]

I had the same relationship with my mum when i was younger, there has always been an atmosphere with her, i cannot talk to her, she just left it to late, and when i got into trouble i had no one to talk to, i always wanted a mother i could be friends with, watch movies and giggle, it was the little things that mattered to me, knowing she cared and thought of me, like buying me a bar of my favourite chocloate, i am very close to my partners family now, in fact there a family i wanted and never had, while your daughter is 11 you have plenty of time for her, involve her with the baby, and be her friend not her mum, she is growing now and you will notice a change with her, reasure her and remind her that you love her, let her have some friends round and have a girly night gl

 

[Lucy22]

My daughter is much younger than yours, but I find that the best bonding time we have doesn't cost anything.

This evening, for instance. We did some baking together - chocolate chip cookies and some scones. Then we both had baths, and I french plaited her hair in front of the fire. I painted her nails and we got cosy on the couch with our baked treats.
We watched The Little Mermaid together, until she fell asleep.

We had the loveliest evening together, and it cost nothing!

How about a night like that? You could maybe go out and do some shopping and go for some lunch, come home and do some baking.
You could do a face mask together and do each others nails. Then settle down and watch a girly DVD together.

Not sure what else to say only that I hope you two get closer, especially with a new baby on the way.
Good luck and keep us updated!