Breastfeeding Opinions

[PhoenixN]

I always assumed with my DD that I would BF but when she was born, my milk didn't some in straight away which we didn't realise at first so she was starving....poor girl.

When it did come in, she'd already had formula and as a big baby it seemed to satisfy her better. I tried to combine bottle and BF but she was just so more content on formula. So after 5 weeks I gave up.

She's always been one of the healthiest kids I know and was a very happy baby, but I still felt enormous guilt about not being able to feed her myself.

Anyway, with this baby, I'm not sure what I want to do. I know it's early days but it's really playing on my mind.

We're not sure why my milk didn't come in when it should have done, it's either down to the blood loss during birth or PCOS, possibly both.

I'm thinking that if I try BF again, I will have to go through that awful guilt again so I may just BF for the first couple of days of colostrum and then move onto bottles.

Any thoughts?

 

[pixydust]

We had very similar problems and my son ended up on formula after a week I'm definitely giving BF another go, I cant wait to, but I will know now that it doesnt always work out and that if it doesnt it's not the end of the world, formula is not so bad after all x

 

[kristen77]

I BF my son until 15 months, exclusively for 6 months, then weaned at 6 months & continued BFing alongside. At 11 months I gave him cows milk (now has goats) & he only had a morning & evening feed. I loved BFing, but I was very lucky to have a very straightforward birth, my son latched on easily & we encountered very few problems. At about 2 months I had 2 cracked nipples which were the most painful thing I have ever had, I sobbed as I fed him, but we got through it & it was very worthwhile IMO.*

BF is all down to personal choice, I loved it & I think if possible it is the best thing for many reasons - health to baby, mum, convenience, financially etc. However, formula is not poison - it provides babies with nutritious sustenance. I personally would say to give it a try but don't put yourself under any pressure - one day at a time and so on - every day is a bonus!

Good luck and remember to stock up on the lansinoh!

X

 

[PhoenixN]

Ooh yeah. I remember the cracked nipples too. Sooo painful!

 

[glitterbug]

I breastfed my son until he was 17 months old and I am pleased I did. He had a tongue tie when he was born, so the feedings were very long at times and could get sore in the beginning. If you seek help when things get tough, i'm sure you'll be fine to try again. There are a lot of herbal remedies you can take to help boost your supply too, like fenugreek for example. Makes you stink of curry from every pore but you only need to take it for a couple of days for a boost.

One thing that is well worth remembering, is that the more you put baby to breast, the more likely your milk supply is to increase.
There is so much support on here as well if you need it. So I would say that if you felt bad last time because you have to stop, there is enough support around you to help if you wanted to try again.

But if you'd rather not put yourself through it, maybe it's not for you. It's your decision at the end of the day, but i'd say that if you are thinking about it as much as you are, it's worth a shot!!

Big and lots of luck.

 

[harrybaby]

If im honest, I didnt enjoy BF as much as I thought I would, during my first pregnancy I was so keen to BF that I didnt buy any bottles or formula. At the hospital I had an emergency c-section but my DD seemed to latch ok - it was a long struggle from there and I exclusively BF until 4 months. I was very proud of myself but KNACKERED!! haha.

I agree its personal choice, and really depends on the combination of mother and child to equal good success.

Second time round, im not so concerned. Im gonna aim for the BF (shall do the same, wont buy any bottles etc) but I know where Tescos is if I need it!!!

 

[Amethyste]

Honey, you don't have to feel guilty as you did your best with your DD and it doesn't sounds like she is suffering from not being BF at all !! You could always try again with this LO but if it doesn't work don't beat yourself up

 

[BeachComber]

I have had all c-sections and with my first child it took about 7 days for my milk to come in. I really think it was because I wasn't putting her to the breast as often as you need to in the very first days, as this will really help your milk to come in much faster than if you dont. I didn't have much support and I actually thought that my daughter wasnt getting enough milk so I ended up switching to formula.

With my second child I was determined to make it work for many reasons. I joined breastfeeding support groups online and read some really good books and found some great websites to help me.
This is a good website that I visited often.
https://kellymom.com/bf/index.html

When he was born it wasn't easy at first....I was recovering from a c-section and I had to learn how to nurse and he had to learn to latch. It took about 3 days for my milk to come in but this is pretty normal. After that it was much easier. I also went through Mastitis more than once. We made it through because I knew that the benefits of breastmilk far outweighed the struggles at first. By the time he was 3-4 months old, everything was soooo much easier and I was so happy that I had stuck with it! He ended up nursing for over 2 years.

With my third child, it was a breeze because I already knew what I was doing this time. He also nursed for over 2 years.

So, if you really want to make it work, you can. You just need to keep this in your mind and start right now by finding the support you need and gathering as much info as you can. There will probably be rough spots at first, but it is so worth it to hang in there!

 

[green22]

What great stories ladies! This will be my first and I really really want to try and BF. But TBH i've had mixed responses from family etc. My mum and sister were like 'oh its really hard, you'll try and then give up' and when me and my DH were talking about buying stuff he said 'so what formula are we going to use?' And I was like 'no, I want to breast feed' and all I got was an 'oh'. Cheers love!

I think her is concerned about me being out and about and trying to feed but I've seen some great nursing scarves etc and also that he may feel left out but I've said that there will be plenty to do apart from feeding! Lol. And that later on i can express so he can get involved in feeds too.

I think I worry about being able to get it right and also about peoples opinions in public. But TBH i've got a big enough mouth to tell them to jog on. Lol.

 

[kristen77]

What great stories ladies! This will be my first and I really really want to try and BF. But TBH i've had mixed responses from family etc. My mum and sister were like 'oh its really hard, you'll try and then give up' and when me and my DH were talking about buying stuff he said 'so what formula are we going to use?' And I was like 'no, I want to breast feed' and all I got was an 'oh'. Cheers love!

I think her is concerned about me being out and about and trying to feed but I've seen some great nursing scarves etc and also that he may feel left out but I've said that there will be plenty to do apart from feeding! Lol. And that later on i can express so he can get involved in feeds too.

I think I worry about being able to get it right and also about peoples opinions in public. But TBH i've got a big enough mouth to tell them to jog on. Lol.

Haha, good for you! Now you have an additional reason for wanting to succeed!

 

[glitterbug]

Green, if you feel you want to do it, you should! One tip I have for you with regard to descreet breastfeeding, is to wear a loose (ish) vest under your top over a feeding bra that unclips at the strap. When it's time to feed baby, you can unclip your bra from the outside and pull the vest down under your boob from under your top while still being covered up. Then when you're ready to latch baby, you lift up the outer top with baby hugged in close and latch them on. You barely even see your boob as ruffles of fabric when lifted will cover most of it once baby is latched. This way, from the sides etc, you can't tell you're feeding, as you haven't had to expose your tummy, and you haven't had to pull your top down to expose everything.

I hope this made sense. I just found this to be the easiest way to do it quickly and easily,without having to fiddle around pulling my top down, taking the nursing pad out and moving all the material out the way.

 

[freckleonear]

Just wanted to say that it's completely normal for your milk not to come in until at least day 3, sometimes later if you've had a difficult delivery. Babies are born with plenty of fat reserves to live off for the first few days, and their stomach is the size of a tiny marble so just a few drops of colostrum is enough. It's definitely worth giving it another try to see how it works out. Breastfeeding might go really well this time round and it would be a shame to miss out on that if you don't give it a chance.

 

[HoldOn2Hope]

It's nice to read everyone's experiences!

This is my first baby and I have always planned to BF. I think it's a healthy, beautiful gift that I can give to him or her from the get go. I plan to BF for 2 years. I'm hoping everything goes as I hope. I now that is not always possible, but if it is, that's the plan!

 

[PhoenixN]

Just wanted to say that it's completely normal for your milk not to come in until at least day 3, sometimes later if you've had a difficult delivery. Babies are born with plenty of fat reserves to live off for the first few days, and their stomach is the size of a tiny marble so just a few drops of colostrum is enough. It's definitely worth giving it another try to see how it works out. Breastfeeding might go really well this time round and it would be a shame to miss out on that if you don't give it a chance.

I think it was like day 5 or 6 that my BM came in and my colostrum went after a day. Poor little girl wouldn't stop crying for 2 days and it was only when I tried expressing on the 3rd day to see how much she'd been getting that I realised nothing was there....at all!

 

[glitterbug]

Please, please don't be too phased by what happens when you try to express. If i'd done that i'd never have carried on feeding my son, as even a month in I could only ever get 1 ounce of milk with a pump....but he was on the 90th centile for weight by the time he was 6 months old with breast milk alone. Babies are far more efficient than a breast pump at getting to the milk. One reason for this, is that it's the tilting of the nipple with their jaw that squirts and draws the milk out as well as the sucking action alone.

I understand that in your circumstances the milk wasn't there, but please don't use a breast pump as a measure to how much milk you have. When you're only just starting out, it's rare to have an ample supply anyway. It takes a good few weeks to get established, and if you are wanting to pump, it can take a further month or more to get enough to fill a bottle (which I never managed!)

 

[Kaede351]

I know breastfeeding is supposed to be the best thing for baby and mum, but why do people try to make you feel guilty if you don't plan on doing it?

I was planning on using bottles so that DH and other family memebrs can feed baby if they want to. I thought it would be easier than trying to ween off onto a bottle later, and I think it's nice for everyone to be able to have a turn, you know?

But when I said to MIL and a few others that I wasn't planning on actually breastfeeding I got a lecture about how I wasn't thinking about the wellbeing of my future child. Surely formula can't be all that bad can it? :/ They've made me second guess myself and I feel kinda gulty now... what do you ladies think about expressing the milk?

XxX

 

[Leilahs_mummy]

I think if you want to try breastfeeding again you should But if it ends up causing you more stress than it's just not worth it. Having a newborn is hard work so do whatever is easiest for you

In saying that though my milk didn't come in properly until about 1 week after my DD was born. I know at the hospital the nurses gave her a few bottles of formula (without my knowledge) and really started pressuring me into giving her formula the last few days I was in the clinic. Once I got home though I didn't give her formula at all. I used the breast pump every day and topped her off at every feed. I think for me the extra stimulation really helped with my supply (although I never got much out whilst expressing). So maybe you could try using a pump at the beginning just to help things along?

Oh and I want to agree with glitterbug, I tried expressing bottles for Leilah after we had our breastfeeding routine down but for the life of me I couldn't get enough milk for a feed. I would pump for ages and only get the tiniest little bit. It made me stressed that I didnt have enough milk for her. She was (and still is) a very, very chubby baby (over 90 centile for weight) from being purely breastfeed.

 

[PhoenixN]

I know breastfeeding is supposed to be the best thing for baby and mum, but why do people try to make you feel guilty if you don't plan on doing it?

I was planning on using bottles so that DH and other family memebrs can feed baby if they want to. I thought it would be easier than trying to ween off onto a bottle later, and I think it's nice for everyone to be able to have a turn, you know?

But when I said to MIL and a few others that I wasn't planning on actually breastfeeding I got a lecture about how I wasn't thinking about the wellbeing of my future child. Surely formula can't be all that bad can it? :/ They've made me second guess myself and I feel kinda gulty now... what do you ladies think about expressing the milk?

XxX

They say that BF is best for a baby and it defo has it's positives, but plenty of babies are formula fed without any problems. I know some kids that were BF exclusively and they have more allergies and illnesses than any other kids I know!

It really is just down to personal choice and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

My personal reasons for considering BF this time is for the cuddles, convenience and cost. Sterilising and making up bottles drove me crazy. But then so did BF for 2-3 hours at a time and DD still needing a top-up feed afterwards.

The HV's made me feel absolutely awful for giving up, but the stress I was feeling was having an effect on my enjoyment of being a mum so I know I did the right thing for my DD for giving up BF when I did.

 

[green22]

Wow, what a thoroughly helpful thread! Thanks for the tips with the vest top etc Glitterbug : - ) I've decided that I'm going to try my hardest to BF, but like others have said, things will be hard enough as it is and to do what feels best for you, not what 'others' think you should do x

 

[lozza1uk]

I wasn't breastfed (because my mum wanted to share the load with my dad!) and have survived to 32 pretty well. I get a cold about every 2-3 years and have had no other serious illnesses or anything. I think i'll try and breast feed (mainly because i'm lazy and it seems easier than sterilising bottles constantly!) but I'm not going to be worried if it doesn't work, I turned out OK!