Breastfeeding

[theroselegacy]

Hello ladies, I am a new mom, my daughter is 2 weeks old, and I have been struggling with breastfeeding. I am looking for advice/tips from other moms who faced similar struggles. I tried breastfeeding from day one....my daughter never latched and gets frustrated to the point where she starts crying. I end up nervous, worked up and basically give up. I don't know if all hope if lost because she is already 2 weeks and we have not been successful. Any advice on what I should do?

 

[mumandco]

I had similar with ds2 he's nearly 3 now and were still breastfeeding.

This is what id do,get some snacks and some water for yourself take them up to bed,strip baby down to nappy and take all your top half clothes off,have skin to skin and snuggles this will relax you both,then let her find your nipple she should latch on herself if not just gently take your boob and stroke her nose/top lip with it,when she opens her mouth just place as much nipple-areola as you can in her mouth. If you have big boobs its sometimes easier if you squeeze your boob to help the nipple fit in. Lots of skin to skin is best,maybe a nice bath together. Try and stay calm baby will get upset if you are too

 

[bababas]

how about pumping, until she gets the hang of it?

i tried the nipple shields until mine got the hang of it. but still it never went that well as ds2.

 

[jd83]

Its really important to stay calm, if you get stressed out it will affect your milk letting down, which in turn makes baby upset, then stresses you out more. Its a viscious cycle. I would highly recommend contacting a lactation consultant in your area to meet with you, observe you feeding to make sure the latch is correct, offer tips on proper latching, etc. They literally saved breastfeeding for me! DS1 wouldn't latch without a nipple shield, and they helped me figure out how to get him to use that so I could still bf, and DS2 was born 4 weeks early so struggled a few days with knowing he needed to suck. He's just put his mouth there and do nothing, but that's a common issue with babies born early. They came and observed every feeding while I was in the hospital until we finally got him sucking. I would have given up without them constantly supporting me.

My sister met with a lactation consultant a few weeks after taking her baby home because she felt like things just weren't going well, and things really turned around for her too after their help. She kept meeting them once a week for a few months just to be sure things were continuing to go well. They are there as often as you need help.

I agree with pp, sit back, keep calm, keep snacks nearby, offer feedings often to get your milk supply established. You can pump after feedings to stimulate more supply too if you think it may be a supply issue. But remember, offering feedings often is the best way to stimulate your supply. Once you get the correct latch figured out, your baby's suck will stimulate supply better than a pump. But a pump can help too. A newborn will cluster feed a lot too, so that's not saying you don't have enough milk because your baby seems hungry a lot. That's just how they get your body to make more milk, constantly demanding more. It evens out after the first few months.

 

[Hannahboo]

We had tons of problems in the beginning as well the most helpful advice I got was when she goes to latch pinch the side of ur areola ( squeeze it so she can get it in her mout easier) and make sure ur nipple is somewhat pointed to the roof of her mouth

 

[ParisJeTadore]

I had a lot of problems in the beginning. My son had a tongue tie that wasn't corrected right away and it caused huge problems with learning to latch. Here are some things that I found super helpful:

1) Please consider visiting a lactation consultant if there is one in your area. The lady I saw did wonders for me as she showed me how to feed my baby (do proper compressions so baby could eat). She was the first after a few health visitors and nurses failed to show me properly.

2)Use a pillow on your lap then place baby on top of pillow to feed. I found this much easier than using a breastfeeding pillow (actually, I sat on the bf pillow to sooth my aching bottom, lol!)

3)To get your supply going-which can be tough when you aren't feeding effectively-eat lots of oatmeal. It helps with your supply!

4)Don't give up!! SO important. Breastfeeding is easy for few in the beginning. In all honestly, I had to work on it for a good 3 months before things got "EASY". When the going gets tough just remind yourself that there is a light at the end of the tunnel! It DOES get easier. Way easier!!

 

[Jary]

Good advice from all other posters I had trouble too and had to use nipple shields because I was so sore but they also helped her latch better and eventually she didn't need them.

Are you in the UK? Health visitors can maybe offer some help by watching you feed etc.

Have you tried biological nurturing? It's where baby lies on her tummy on your chest (sit back on your sofa) and she should start bobbing her head and start leaning to the side. It encourages your nipples to stand out better and encourages baby to open her mouth more.

Don't give up! Keep at it and like others have said it does get easier

 

[kitabird]

Lots of good advice already, just wanted to add that my LO would scream at the breast rather than latch too. The more I tried to get him to latch the more he would cry. What worked was taking him away from the breast, giving him a cuddle or whatever and then trying again. I know how stressful it is when they won't feed, but with support from your health visitor or lactation consultant you can do it!

 

[icklemonster]

Good advice from all other posters I had trouble too and had to use nipple shields because I was so sore but they also helped her latch better and eventually she didn't need them.

Are you in the UK? Health visitors can maybe offer some help by watching you feed etc.

Have you tried biological nurturing? It's where baby lies on her tummy on your chest (sit back on your sofa) and she should start bobbing her head and start leaning to the side. It encourages your nipples to stand out better and encourages baby to open her mouth more.

Don't give up! Keep at it and like others have said it does get easier

This is how I fed Charlotte for about the first 6 weeks. I would lay down and she would lay on top of me and this would encourage her to root out my nipple, and for some reason her mouth would open much wider, than if side on! This really helped with her latch.
We also suffered with over active letdown and this really helped. When I did start feeding her upright I had to start using nipple shields on my right boob as the flow was so fast she'd choke. We used them for 4 weeks and I think they saved our BF relationship - I know some people harp on abut them causng nipple confusion and reducing milk but that wasn't the case for us.
BF is a struggle initially, I am yet to meet a real life person who has found it easy. Do stick with it though, after week 8 it gets sooooo much easier, and I'm so glad I stuck with it. All the best xxx

 

[Elisianna]

We had tons of problems in the beginning as well the most helpful advice I got was when she goes to latch pinch the side of ur areola ( squeeze it so she can get it in her mout easier) and make sure ur nipple is somewhat pointed to the roof of her mouth

I second this! Make sure the nipple is pointed to the roof of her mouth by pushing down on the side of your areola so the nipple is pointed in the correction when it goes in. This was the number 1 piece of advice I received when I started breastfeeding. It had been so hard before that, but when we tried this all of the scabs on my nipples healed and cleared and breastfeeding stopped being painful.

 

[broodyhen]

I had a similar problem and thought my son would never get the hang of it. I had people come round to offer support and all they really said was keep trying. I tried everything feeding in all different positions, I used to get him latched on stood up most of the time. I would cry, he would cry, my mum would be trying to help but he just seemed to fight it. I would say things started to improve after 4 weeks and at 2 months he finally got good at breast feeding. He was over due too so it's not just premie babies who struggle. My LO is 10 months now and loves breast feeding but really struggling with weaning! Ha. One thing after another. Don't give up because its fantastic when you get into it.

 

[danielle1984]

I felt the same way at 2 weeks. My son is a hungry fella lol! I was about to give up because he would constantly feed to the point I would have no breaks between feeding. I soon realized by the help of some posters in BNB that this is how it will be for a few weeks but it would get easier. He'll be 4 weeks on Friday and I can't believe he finally started having one hour nap in the afternoon, we sometimes have 5-10 minutes between feeding to play and I quickly learned that when he sleeps I sleep too. Its the perfect time for cuddles.

 

[Breadsticks]

My little girl is two weeks also. She struggled with latching in the beginning and still has issues with it some feedings. Two things have helped me tremendously:

1) Nipple shields! She *refused* latching in the beginning and I was so worried that breastfeeding wouldn't work. The lactation consultant at the hospital gave me a nipple shield to try and she latched immediately. I was able to breastfeed her (I had been pumping colostrum and cup feeding) and she learned that food actually does come out when you suck! I still use the nipple shield for some feedings but most she latches on her own. The only time I have issues latching her is when I'm engorged, so I'm trying to get in the habit of pumping a little before feedings. I have not had any issues with supply from the nipple shields but I do seem to have an oversupply...the nurses and lactation consultants could not believe how much colostrum I was producing, it has been the same with milk since coming home.

2) Squeezing the nipple like a hamburger around the areola, tickling her top lip, and placing it in her mouth once she opens wide. That seems to help her a lot.

Most of my struggles come when I'm engorged, she can barely latch at that point. I agree with PPs that skin-to-skin is amazing, it helps so much! Also, cuddling to calm her when she gets overly frustrated works wonders too. Oh! Another thing I've noticed is she latches better after I've recently showered, the hot water seems to reduce the engorgement.

Good luck! I was getting very discouraged but once you see progress, no matter how small, it is the most wonderful feeling of accomplishment! You can do it!

 

[theroselegacy]

Thank you ladies for all the advice. It's a relief to know I am not alone and many of you have faced this struggle but were able to work through it. I have used the shield and it has worked, I just hate the idea of having to use it all the time. My daughter was tongue tied at birth...we had it corrected but some of the staff at the hospital were concerned it still looked a little short. We have an appointment with an ENT specialist next week so it will be interesting to see what he says. What is hard for me is approaching breastfeeding attempts with a relaxed, calm attitude, because of how disappointing all my previous attempts have been. My daughter starts screaming, and than I get all worked up and want to give up and give her the bottle with seconds of trying. I had a lactation consultant come to my room at the hospital after delivery to help me with breastfeeding she said my nipples were a little flat. I don't know if that plays a part, that maybe they aren't easy to latch onto. But than yesterday I got her to latch for the first time ever but she pulled away immediately. I don't think my milk flows fast enough for her, in comparison to the bottle, and I have heard baby's sometime prefer the bottle because they don't have to work as hard....guess I just need to keep trying.

 

[Jary]

Hehe yeah babies can get milk fast from the bottle. Also my nipples were pretty small, add that to big boobs and no wonder LO struggled! But with the nipple shields (avent) they were a lot bigger than my nipples so when she sucked the nipple and part of the areola would go into her mouth like it was supposed to so it really helped.

As for getting your milk going, try the warm wet cloth and massage your breast, maybe even hand express a little. If your LO gets the taste of milk that might help her stay interested!

 

[jd83]

Hehe yeah babies can get milk fast from the bottle. Also my nipples were pretty small, add that to big boobs and no wonder LO struggled! But with the nipple shields (avent) they were a lot bigger than my nipples so when she sucked the nipple and part of the areola would go into her mouth like it was supposed to so it really helped.

As for getting your milk going, try the warm wet cloth and massage your breast, maybe even hand express a little. If your LO gets the taste of milk that might help her stay interested!

Definitely agree with this. If your daughter has had some bottles, she has realized how easy they are and bf by comparison is owrk to get milk. Maybe until you get her going better at it, try and stimulate your breast some before you latch her to get your letdown going so that she doesn't have to work and get mad immediately. You can massage your breast from outside toward the nipple to stimulate letdown, and warm, moist cloths help too. Once she gets the hang of it better, you should be able to get her latched without doing that, but it may help in the meantime.