Hi everyone. I thought I would finally take some time to announce the birth of little Eloise who was born peacefully at home 8 weeks ago. I can honestly say it was the most profound, amazing and incredible experience of my life and I hope that other mums to be who are considering having a home birth will read this and be curious as to what home birth can offer. I will intersperse my own memories with extracts from my midwife's notes which I will put in []. It's a bit long I'm afraid!!
My story starts in September 2009 with the impending arrival of DD1. After a super easy pregnancy I was booked for a home birth and had done the Hypnobirthing course, bought the pool and was ready to go. I'm a health professional and work in a hospital and fully appreciate the need for hospital births for women that want or are advised to have one. But I personally didn't want to give birth at work, I had experienced an easy and uncomplicated pregnancy and was totally convinced that I would be able to birth easily at home. I didn't even go for a tour of the local hospital I was so sure that I would have my baby at home.
After a day of mild backache my waters went with a pop at 1am on my due date and I laboured well at home. I was relaxed and happy. A midwife came out and examined me. She told me that I was 2cm and to carry on as I was. Another midwife came to examine me at lunchtime and I was 3cm and fine. However, she looked at the bed sheets and told me that there was meconium on them and I would have to go to hospital to have my baby. I was distraught! My labour stalled totally on the taxi ride in.
When I arrived at the hospital the sheets I had brought in were examined again and I was told that it was not meconium but an 'old' show. I was examined again and was 2cm! I begged to go home but, by that point I had had 3 VE's and the hospital policy was that I should go onto IV antibiotics. This meant that I would not even be able to birth in the midwife led unit in the water pool but instead was on the higher risk labour ward.
The midwife wanted to start me on drugs to get my labour going but I negotiated to be given an hour of walking around to try and kick start things naturally. This meant that I spent the next hour marching round the hospital but to no avail. When it was time to go back up to the ward the elevator doors opened and there stood Gok Wan. I felt like saying to him 'Gok, I'm wearing my husbands tatty pyjama top, my hair needs a wash and I'm having a really bad day - please don't judge me!!'. Totally surreal!
Anyhoo, I laboured overnight on the drugs on my back and hooked up to the fetal monitors and finally pushed for 3 hours but baby had turned back to back overnight and, having not been allowed to eat for 12 hours in case I needed an emergency c-section I had nothing left in the tank. The pain was horrendous and I was totally out of control - screaming, shaking etc. Eventually Esme was born with forceps and was found to be acynclitic which is why she got stuck. She was 7lb 9oz and labour had taken 52 hours from my waters breaking to birth.
The recovery was pretty awful too. I burst some of my episiotomy stitches and they got infected and I was utterly crushed as I thought my body had failed me as I wasn't able to push her out. In fact, I was so traumatised by the whole experience that we waited 3 years before trying for no 2.
As you can guess, I was very apprehensive about how the birth process was going to be this time. At my NHs booking in appointment I asked about the chances of getting to meet the midwifes who would deliver my baby and was told that this would sadly not be possible as it could be 2 of a possible pool of 50 who would attend on the day.
To avoid all the miscommunications and confusion between midwives that happened with DD1 we decided to hire an independent midwife and I took on extra weekend shifts at work to pay for this. I knew that I wanted a midwife who was thoroughly evidence based and wouldn't promise me that everything was going to be fine based on some spiritual belief that birth always goes smoothly. After interviewing a few midwifes we found the amazing Kay Hardie of Kent Independent Midwifes who impressed me with the breadth and depth of her knowledge. I was also confident that, if I ended up in hospital, Kay would help me to make sure my baby received evidence-based care and not just 'we do this because it's hospital policy' care. Kay spent a lot of time listening to my fears and talking though what had happened before. Again I had a very easy pregnancy and wanted to try for a home birth again, which Kay fully supported, although I didn't dare assume that I would be able to achieve this. This time we went for a tour of the local hospital and timed how long the journey to it took (10 minutes).
In preparation I used the Natal Hypnotherapy CDs daily (although I never managed to make it to the end of the CD before falling asleep). I also worked though the companion Birth Preparation book. I figured that it wouldn't do any harm to have a go at using deep relaxation but didn't dare to believe it would work after the excruciating pain of the first labour, despite previously investing so much time in hypnobirthing practice. I thought I may well end up in hospital again but I was ok with that this time.
On Monday 14th January, 2 days after my due date, I woke up feeling 'funny'. I had been loosing my mucus plug over the previous couple of days and was getting some mild irregular cramps but they felt like Braxton Hicks. I sent hubby to work and got on with my day. We were planning to go to the cinema that night to see Les Mis which I was super excited about and I had arranged for my friend to baby sit DD1. I dropped DD1 off to preschool, drove to the shops and wandered round the town. The 'braxton hicks' started to feel a bit stronger. Not uncomfortable but tighter. I was trying to relax into each one to encourage my body to open and soften. I popped into Mothercare to get a few bits and bobs and the lady asked me when I was due and I replied 'actually I think I might be in labour' which she couldn't believe as I was so 'normal'.
I picked DD1 up from preschool and brought her home for lunch. I texted my friend to let her know that things might be happening and she agreed to come over with her children to keep me company. While I was waiting for her to come, Kay arrived for an antenatal check. I told her I was getting some strong braxton hicks and she said to let her know if things kicked off but that I should definately still go and enjoy the cinema tonight to keep my mind off things. At this point I still didn't really believe that this was labour. [14.00 P feels labour has maybe started. P feels very comfortable and that baby is in a good position. P will call me when labour starts or for next appointment]
Alana, my friend, arrived at about 3.30pm and we played with the kids and had a chat over a cuppa. By this point I was stopping to have a sit down during the tightenings as I found that it helped me to relax into them. They werent painful but I needed to concentrate on them. I made all the kids dinner and Alana helped me dish it out. She had been timing my 'sit downs' and noticed that they were getting closer together and were now about 5 mins apart although it felt much longer than that to me (possibly the time distortion effect that the hypnotherapy aims to produce??). I was still planning to go the the cinema at that point but I texted my husband at about 6pm to tell thim that things were becoming more intense and perhaps he should think about heading home. I was still happilly chatting between contractions just stopping to sit down briefly and relax through them.
At 6.30pm we agreed that Alana should take Esme for the night as we had planned previously. I said goodbye to my beautiful little girl and helped her into the car and suddenly things got very real. I wasn't going to be heading to the cinema tonight! As they left, the cramps got more uncomfortable so I decided to take a shower. Alana had told me that during her labours she had to be standing up for each contraction and I knew that gravity could help so I assumed that a shower would be a win win situation - big mistake! I just could not deal with contractions in standing so only stayed in for 2 contractions then jumped out to lie on my bed. This was a bit easier but I was definately more uncomfortable now. I texted Kay to let her know that I wanted an epidural (hehe!). I knew I had to summon her when things got really uncomfortable - but I was still a long way off that in my head!
DH arrived home at 7pm and timed the contractions - they were every 3 minutes and lasting for 1 min 30! I had no idea that they were that close together or lasting that long and got a bit panicky. He texted Kay with an update and she told him to start getting the pool ready which he did in super quick time, bless him. I followed him downstairs and asked him to put on an Eddie Izzard DVD for me to watch. I thought laughing might calm me down and distract me a bit but it just annoyed me and made the contractions feel longer and painful so I switched it off. My body was definately trying to get me to focus on the job in hand! I decided that I wanted to get in as I was having a proper wobble and was a bit scared and freaked out. I quickly shed all of my clothes (so much for the new bikini that I had bought to labour in!!) and jumped straight in. The water was nice but not brilliant and I was still not in my happy place! I was starting to feel a bit 'pushy' at the end of each contraction so Rich called Kay and she said that she was on her way. Meanwhile I was worrying that we were calling her too early!
I dashed upstairs as I felt like a wanted to open my bowels and, luckily, this brought me to my perfect labouring place - sitting in darkness on the toilet facing backwards, with my arms and head resting on the tank, wrapped in my husbands heavy dressing gown and listening to my Labour Companion CD- bliss. I found that low humming through my contractions, thinking about softening and opening and reciting the 321 relax affirmation was just the perfect combination for me. The pain was suddenly totally do-able again, just an intense sensation really, and I was no longer scared.
Kay arrived and quietly sat on the bath watching me. DH came upstairs to check on me and Kay joked to him that we would not be making it to the cinema tonight. I shushed them quite curtly because I needed to concentrate and relax into the contraction that I was having at the time. I was still worried that we had called her too soon because, in this position, things were very manageable for me but Kay reassured me that i looked like a woman in established labour. I was still convinced that I was only about 3 cm! [22.05 When I arrived P upstairs in bathroom sitting astride toilet leaning forwards. Breathing through contractions 4:10, strong regular. Emotions - Calm.] So I had been on that toilet for about 90 minutes!! Incredible!
So there we stayed. me humming away on the toilet, Kay sitting quietly on the bath watching me, occasionally checking baby's heart rate with the doppler and disappearing outside into the lit hallway to write notes. It was peaceful and so different to my 1st experience. At one point I said to Kay that I could not imagine leaving my lovely safe 'nest' and getting into a car to trundle to hospital, but generally I wasn't chatty between contractions. I just wanted to be quiet with my own thoughts and enjoy the experience which, utterly bizzarely, was thouroughly enjoyable.
Eventually i started to make pushy noises at the end of each contraction and Kay asked if I wanted to get into the pool which I did, although I was still worried that I was doing this too soon and that I wasn't dilated enough. I dashed down the stairs in between contractions and asked Kay to examine me to reassure me that I was dilated enough. I couldn't contemplate lying on my back for this so I knelt on all fours for a quick examination. Kay said that this was a pretty difficult examination position but that she thought I was fully dilated which totally floored me - I had only been labouring for an hour or so right??
My darling husband had lowered the lights, lit candles and brought my Labour Companion music downstairs so I jumped straight into the pool which was BLISS, I felt all floaty and warm (anyone who finds a hot bath or hot water bottle for period pains useful will understand) and knelt on all fours leaning over the edge. My husband sat in front of me holding my hands and offering me occasional sips of juice while Kay maintained her quiet presence in the room, regularly monitoring baby's heart beat.
[22.39 P goes downstairs.....22.50 into pool 'That feels nice' says P. Some external signs of full dilation. Entonox set up.....]
My noises moved from a hum to more of a mooing sound and i remember needing to open my bowels which I did and was mortified about! Kay quickly sorted things out and reassured me. I found that things were still very manageble but very intense and powerful. I jokingly asked Kay how long things were going to be because I couldnt keep this up all night and she said that my baby was going to be born very soon which, again, I didn't quite believe as I hadn't reached the excruciating, screaming phase that I had with Esme. I asked for some gas and air as I thought that things were going to get much much worse at some point. As it happened they didn't, I mooed my way though each contraction and chugged heartily on the G&A in between them (lovely stuff). [23.22 sounding very expulsive now, contractions 4:10 strong.... 23.30 Baby's head just visible now, reassured and encouraged....]
At no point did I feel the need to actively 'push', I just went with what my body was doing and kept trying to relax into each wave. The closest thing I can compare it to is like when you're being sick (without all the yukky illness feelings that come with that). You can't stop it, your body just does it! Richard later told me that I didn't scream or swear at any point. I didn't feel the head moving down the birth canal or any ring of fire that I can recall, but I was so far away in labour land that I think my recollections are a bit vague but then, suddenly, DD2s head was out!! Another contraction came and went and her body was stil not born. At this point I panicked that she was stuck and asked Kay to pull her out. Kay told me to stand up and get out of the pool and I got scared. But as soon as I stood up I got another contraction and out she came. Her body coming out REALLY hurt which I wasnt expecting at all but it was done in a second. It was 11.45 pm, I was convinced it was about 9pm!
She gasped straight away and I lay down on the floor while Kay put her on my chest and gave her a little rub down, then covered us with warm towels to await delivery of the placenta. When the cord had stopped pulsating it was clamped and DH cut it. Kay suggested that I go upstairs and nurse baby Eloise on the toilet to encourage delivery of the placenta which I did. After about 10 minutes I felt it slither out (very bizzare feeling) and plop into the toilet. Kay helped me into the shower and washed me down then helped me onto the bed where I needed some stitches for a small tear. Eloise was weighed and was a whopping 9lb 4oz and active labour was 5 hours 15 minutes. Massively shorter than the 3 day fest I went through with DD1.
Kay tucked Eloise and I up in bed while DH made tea and toast and we all ate together while Kay finished up my notes and checked that Eloise was nursing well. She left at about 2.30am leaving me proud as punch and utterly floored by how amazing the whole experience was.
So here's what I wish I could have told myself prior to having this experience...
1. Natal hypnotherapy is brilliant and will teach you to relax and go with each contraction. It will keep you calm and focussed. While I was most definately utterly present though the whole experience, I was very much in my own safe reality. This worked for me personally because I was in my own home, attended by my husband and a midwife I totally trusted, but knowing that the hospital was very close by and I could choose to go there at any time I needed or wanted to.
2. Don't worry about feeling unprepared. I didn't ever make it through a whole CD but it was all there when I needed it. Similarly, I went into labour still carrying doubts and fears, but the Birth Preparation book taught me to acknowledge that I couldn't to anything about the fact that I might not be able to push her out, or that I might have to transfer in for forceps delivery. I accepted this truth, organised contingency plans that I was comfortable with, then put the fears aside and just waited to see what came to pass. This took the pressure off me to have the perfect home birth and helped me to go with the flow.
3. It really helps to keep busy during the day and almost ignore the fact that you might be going into labour.
4. Listen to your body! My body was clearly telling me to sit down and relax into each contraction but I thought I knew better and tried a standing up shower which set me back a bit.
5. Eat and drink as you need to. I had a mahoosive lunch and loads of chocolate during the day and during labour my DH kept sticking a straw into my mouth so I could slurp some juice down. This meant that I didn't run out of energy like I had with DD1.
6. Maintain and air of calm nonchelance. If you have a drug free, candle lit home birth - fab. If you have a managed hospital birth - fab. Any outcome inbetween - fab. You will end up where you need to be to safely deliver your child so stop stressing about the detail and focus on the outcome.
7. Enjoy it, and this is possible as I found during my labour. It is powerful and intense but also profound and majestic.
Wishing every woman a positive birthing experience.
My story starts in September 2009 with the impending arrival of DD1. After a super easy pregnancy I was booked for a home birth and had done the Hypnobirthing course, bought the pool and was ready to go. I'm a health professional and work in a hospital and fully appreciate the need for hospital births for women that want or are advised to have one. But I personally didn't want to give birth at work, I had experienced an easy and uncomplicated pregnancy and was totally convinced that I would be able to birth easily at home. I didn't even go for a tour of the local hospital I was so sure that I would have my baby at home.
After a day of mild backache my waters went with a pop at 1am on my due date and I laboured well at home. I was relaxed and happy. A midwife came out and examined me. She told me that I was 2cm and to carry on as I was. Another midwife came to examine me at lunchtime and I was 3cm and fine. However, she looked at the bed sheets and told me that there was meconium on them and I would have to go to hospital to have my baby. I was distraught! My labour stalled totally on the taxi ride in.
When I arrived at the hospital the sheets I had brought in were examined again and I was told that it was not meconium but an 'old' show. I was examined again and was 2cm! I begged to go home but, by that point I had had 3 VE's and the hospital policy was that I should go onto IV antibiotics. This meant that I would not even be able to birth in the midwife led unit in the water pool but instead was on the higher risk labour ward.
The midwife wanted to start me on drugs to get my labour going but I negotiated to be given an hour of walking around to try and kick start things naturally. This meant that I spent the next hour marching round the hospital but to no avail. When it was time to go back up to the ward the elevator doors opened and there stood Gok Wan. I felt like saying to him 'Gok, I'm wearing my husbands tatty pyjama top, my hair needs a wash and I'm having a really bad day - please don't judge me!!'. Totally surreal!
Anyhoo, I laboured overnight on the drugs on my back and hooked up to the fetal monitors and finally pushed for 3 hours but baby had turned back to back overnight and, having not been allowed to eat for 12 hours in case I needed an emergency c-section I had nothing left in the tank. The pain was horrendous and I was totally out of control - screaming, shaking etc. Eventually Esme was born with forceps and was found to be acynclitic which is why she got stuck. She was 7lb 9oz and labour had taken 52 hours from my waters breaking to birth.
The recovery was pretty awful too. I burst some of my episiotomy stitches and they got infected and I was utterly crushed as I thought my body had failed me as I wasn't able to push her out. In fact, I was so traumatised by the whole experience that we waited 3 years before trying for no 2.
As you can guess, I was very apprehensive about how the birth process was going to be this time. At my NHs booking in appointment I asked about the chances of getting to meet the midwifes who would deliver my baby and was told that this would sadly not be possible as it could be 2 of a possible pool of 50 who would attend on the day.
To avoid all the miscommunications and confusion between midwives that happened with DD1 we decided to hire an independent midwife and I took on extra weekend shifts at work to pay for this. I knew that I wanted a midwife who was thoroughly evidence based and wouldn't promise me that everything was going to be fine based on some spiritual belief that birth always goes smoothly. After interviewing a few midwifes we found the amazing Kay Hardie of Kent Independent Midwifes who impressed me with the breadth and depth of her knowledge. I was also confident that, if I ended up in hospital, Kay would help me to make sure my baby received evidence-based care and not just 'we do this because it's hospital policy' care. Kay spent a lot of time listening to my fears and talking though what had happened before. Again I had a very easy pregnancy and wanted to try for a home birth again, which Kay fully supported, although I didn't dare assume that I would be able to achieve this. This time we went for a tour of the local hospital and timed how long the journey to it took (10 minutes).
In preparation I used the Natal Hypnotherapy CDs daily (although I never managed to make it to the end of the CD before falling asleep). I also worked though the companion Birth Preparation book. I figured that it wouldn't do any harm to have a go at using deep relaxation but didn't dare to believe it would work after the excruciating pain of the first labour, despite previously investing so much time in hypnobirthing practice. I thought I may well end up in hospital again but I was ok with that this time.
On Monday 14th January, 2 days after my due date, I woke up feeling 'funny'. I had been loosing my mucus plug over the previous couple of days and was getting some mild irregular cramps but they felt like Braxton Hicks. I sent hubby to work and got on with my day. We were planning to go to the cinema that night to see Les Mis which I was super excited about and I had arranged for my friend to baby sit DD1. I dropped DD1 off to preschool, drove to the shops and wandered round the town. The 'braxton hicks' started to feel a bit stronger. Not uncomfortable but tighter. I was trying to relax into each one to encourage my body to open and soften. I popped into Mothercare to get a few bits and bobs and the lady asked me when I was due and I replied 'actually I think I might be in labour' which she couldn't believe as I was so 'normal'.
I picked DD1 up from preschool and brought her home for lunch. I texted my friend to let her know that things might be happening and she agreed to come over with her children to keep me company. While I was waiting for her to come, Kay arrived for an antenatal check. I told her I was getting some strong braxton hicks and she said to let her know if things kicked off but that I should definately still go and enjoy the cinema tonight to keep my mind off things. At this point I still didn't really believe that this was labour. [14.00 P feels labour has maybe started. P feels very comfortable and that baby is in a good position. P will call me when labour starts or for next appointment]
Alana, my friend, arrived at about 3.30pm and we played with the kids and had a chat over a cuppa. By this point I was stopping to have a sit down during the tightenings as I found that it helped me to relax into them. They werent painful but I needed to concentrate on them. I made all the kids dinner and Alana helped me dish it out. She had been timing my 'sit downs' and noticed that they were getting closer together and were now about 5 mins apart although it felt much longer than that to me (possibly the time distortion effect that the hypnotherapy aims to produce??). I was still planning to go the the cinema at that point but I texted my husband at about 6pm to tell thim that things were becoming more intense and perhaps he should think about heading home. I was still happilly chatting between contractions just stopping to sit down briefly and relax through them.
At 6.30pm we agreed that Alana should take Esme for the night as we had planned previously. I said goodbye to my beautiful little girl and helped her into the car and suddenly things got very real. I wasn't going to be heading to the cinema tonight! As they left, the cramps got more uncomfortable so I decided to take a shower. Alana had told me that during her labours she had to be standing up for each contraction and I knew that gravity could help so I assumed that a shower would be a win win situation - big mistake! I just could not deal with contractions in standing so only stayed in for 2 contractions then jumped out to lie on my bed. This was a bit easier but I was definately more uncomfortable now. I texted Kay to let her know that I wanted an epidural (hehe!). I knew I had to summon her when things got really uncomfortable - but I was still a long way off that in my head!
DH arrived home at 7pm and timed the contractions - they were every 3 minutes and lasting for 1 min 30! I had no idea that they were that close together or lasting that long and got a bit panicky. He texted Kay with an update and she told him to start getting the pool ready which he did in super quick time, bless him. I followed him downstairs and asked him to put on an Eddie Izzard DVD for me to watch. I thought laughing might calm me down and distract me a bit but it just annoyed me and made the contractions feel longer and painful so I switched it off. My body was definately trying to get me to focus on the job in hand! I decided that I wanted to get in as I was having a proper wobble and was a bit scared and freaked out. I quickly shed all of my clothes (so much for the new bikini that I had bought to labour in!!) and jumped straight in. The water was nice but not brilliant and I was still not in my happy place! I was starting to feel a bit 'pushy' at the end of each contraction so Rich called Kay and she said that she was on her way. Meanwhile I was worrying that we were calling her too early!
I dashed upstairs as I felt like a wanted to open my bowels and, luckily, this brought me to my perfect labouring place - sitting in darkness on the toilet facing backwards, with my arms and head resting on the tank, wrapped in my husbands heavy dressing gown and listening to my Labour Companion CD- bliss. I found that low humming through my contractions, thinking about softening and opening and reciting the 321 relax affirmation was just the perfect combination for me. The pain was suddenly totally do-able again, just an intense sensation really, and I was no longer scared.
Kay arrived and quietly sat on the bath watching me. DH came upstairs to check on me and Kay joked to him that we would not be making it to the cinema tonight. I shushed them quite curtly because I needed to concentrate and relax into the contraction that I was having at the time. I was still worried that we had called her too soon because, in this position, things were very manageable for me but Kay reassured me that i looked like a woman in established labour. I was still convinced that I was only about 3 cm! [22.05 When I arrived P upstairs in bathroom sitting astride toilet leaning forwards. Breathing through contractions 4:10, strong regular. Emotions - Calm.] So I had been on that toilet for about 90 minutes!! Incredible!
So there we stayed. me humming away on the toilet, Kay sitting quietly on the bath watching me, occasionally checking baby's heart rate with the doppler and disappearing outside into the lit hallway to write notes. It was peaceful and so different to my 1st experience. At one point I said to Kay that I could not imagine leaving my lovely safe 'nest' and getting into a car to trundle to hospital, but generally I wasn't chatty between contractions. I just wanted to be quiet with my own thoughts and enjoy the experience which, utterly bizzarely, was thouroughly enjoyable.
Eventually i started to make pushy noises at the end of each contraction and Kay asked if I wanted to get into the pool which I did, although I was still worried that I was doing this too soon and that I wasn't dilated enough. I dashed down the stairs in between contractions and asked Kay to examine me to reassure me that I was dilated enough. I couldn't contemplate lying on my back for this so I knelt on all fours for a quick examination. Kay said that this was a pretty difficult examination position but that she thought I was fully dilated which totally floored me - I had only been labouring for an hour or so right??
My darling husband had lowered the lights, lit candles and brought my Labour Companion music downstairs so I jumped straight into the pool which was BLISS, I felt all floaty and warm (anyone who finds a hot bath or hot water bottle for period pains useful will understand) and knelt on all fours leaning over the edge. My husband sat in front of me holding my hands and offering me occasional sips of juice while Kay maintained her quiet presence in the room, regularly monitoring baby's heart beat.
[22.39 P goes downstairs.....22.50 into pool 'That feels nice' says P. Some external signs of full dilation. Entonox set up.....]
My noises moved from a hum to more of a mooing sound and i remember needing to open my bowels which I did and was mortified about! Kay quickly sorted things out and reassured me. I found that things were still very manageble but very intense and powerful. I jokingly asked Kay how long things were going to be because I couldnt keep this up all night and she said that my baby was going to be born very soon which, again, I didn't quite believe as I hadn't reached the excruciating, screaming phase that I had with Esme. I asked for some gas and air as I thought that things were going to get much much worse at some point. As it happened they didn't, I mooed my way though each contraction and chugged heartily on the G&A in between them (lovely stuff). [23.22 sounding very expulsive now, contractions 4:10 strong.... 23.30 Baby's head just visible now, reassured and encouraged....]
At no point did I feel the need to actively 'push', I just went with what my body was doing and kept trying to relax into each wave. The closest thing I can compare it to is like when you're being sick (without all the yukky illness feelings that come with that). You can't stop it, your body just does it! Richard later told me that I didn't scream or swear at any point. I didn't feel the head moving down the birth canal or any ring of fire that I can recall, but I was so far away in labour land that I think my recollections are a bit vague but then, suddenly, DD2s head was out!! Another contraction came and went and her body was stil not born. At this point I panicked that she was stuck and asked Kay to pull her out. Kay told me to stand up and get out of the pool and I got scared. But as soon as I stood up I got another contraction and out she came. Her body coming out REALLY hurt which I wasnt expecting at all but it was done in a second. It was 11.45 pm, I was convinced it was about 9pm!
She gasped straight away and I lay down on the floor while Kay put her on my chest and gave her a little rub down, then covered us with warm towels to await delivery of the placenta. When the cord had stopped pulsating it was clamped and DH cut it. Kay suggested that I go upstairs and nurse baby Eloise on the toilet to encourage delivery of the placenta which I did. After about 10 minutes I felt it slither out (very bizzare feeling) and plop into the toilet. Kay helped me into the shower and washed me down then helped me onto the bed where I needed some stitches for a small tear. Eloise was weighed and was a whopping 9lb 4oz and active labour was 5 hours 15 minutes. Massively shorter than the 3 day fest I went through with DD1.
Kay tucked Eloise and I up in bed while DH made tea and toast and we all ate together while Kay finished up my notes and checked that Eloise was nursing well. She left at about 2.30am leaving me proud as punch and utterly floored by how amazing the whole experience was.
So here's what I wish I could have told myself prior to having this experience...
1. Natal hypnotherapy is brilliant and will teach you to relax and go with each contraction. It will keep you calm and focussed. While I was most definately utterly present though the whole experience, I was very much in my own safe reality. This worked for me personally because I was in my own home, attended by my husband and a midwife I totally trusted, but knowing that the hospital was very close by and I could choose to go there at any time I needed or wanted to.
2. Don't worry about feeling unprepared. I didn't ever make it through a whole CD but it was all there when I needed it. Similarly, I went into labour still carrying doubts and fears, but the Birth Preparation book taught me to acknowledge that I couldn't to anything about the fact that I might not be able to push her out, or that I might have to transfer in for forceps delivery. I accepted this truth, organised contingency plans that I was comfortable with, then put the fears aside and just waited to see what came to pass. This took the pressure off me to have the perfect home birth and helped me to go with the flow.
3. It really helps to keep busy during the day and almost ignore the fact that you might be going into labour.
4. Listen to your body! My body was clearly telling me to sit down and relax into each contraction but I thought I knew better and tried a standing up shower which set me back a bit.
5. Eat and drink as you need to. I had a mahoosive lunch and loads of chocolate during the day and during labour my DH kept sticking a straw into my mouth so I could slurp some juice down. This meant that I didn't run out of energy like I had with DD1.
6. Maintain and air of calm nonchelance. If you have a drug free, candle lit home birth - fab. If you have a managed hospital birth - fab. Any outcome inbetween - fab. You will end up where you need to be to safely deliver your child so stop stressing about the detail and focus on the outcome.
7. Enjoy it, and this is possible as I found during my labour. It is powerful and intense but also profound and majestic.
Wishing every woman a positive birthing experience.
