Bullying

[robinator]

This article came out today and I'm wondering how effective anti-bullying campaigns really are? Kids are bullied daily and no adults do anything about it, such as Kim Lockwood, mentioned in the article. Why are bullying and reports of bullying minimized by teachers and school administrators? Are they afraid to get involved, or does it make their life "easier" by not dealing with the tough issues? Do they just not care?

It says to me that these same people who don't enforce these policies are bullies themselves. For two reasons:

1) In being an authoritative figure and refusing to enforce policies, they are intimidating other employees (teachers) into not doing so either. No one wants to cross their boss and risk losing their jobs.

2) If you watch someone being bullied, or know of it and do nothing to stop it, you are part of the bullying in allowing it to continue.

https://www.mercurynews.com/breakin...chools-take-anti-bullying-campaign-all-middle

Oakland schools launch anti-bullying campaign by showing 'Bully' documentary

Busloads of teenagers streamed into a movie theater in Oakland's Jack London Square on Monday morning, past their superintendent of schools and the director of the film they were about to see.

In the next two weeks, 14,000 Oakland middle and high school students will watch "Bully" with their classmates. It's a wrenching documentary about the devastating and sometimes deadly consequences of bullying -- especially when school personnel don't take it seriously.

"I spent most of my childhood being bullied," Lee Hirsch, the director, told the young audience as he stood before the big screen. "I used to get hit so much that my arms were yellow from top to bottom. ... I couldn't make it stop."

Then he made a request: "As you watch this movie, think about the ways in which you can make a difference."

Last week, the Oakland school board updated its anti-bullying policy; the screening is part of a broader effort to address bullying in the schools. A new law that took effect July 1 has forced California school districts throughout the state to revise their handling of bullying, harassment and discrimination complaints.

"Seth's Law" is named after Seth Walsh, a gay 13-year-old from Tehachapi in Kern County, who was harassed by classmates and later took his life. The law establishes a timeline for the investigation and resolution of such incidents and requires school personnel who witness acts of bullying to intervene. One of the administrators featured in "Bully," Kim Lockwood, is shown repeatedly minimizing complaints of bullying from students and parents, even those which involved serious physical abuse.

"Our take on it is that it says administrators need quality training," said Wendi Caporicci, a former Oakland principal who is now with the American Federation of School Administrators. Caporicci said the national union supports such measures as Seth's Law.

Last month, the Alameda, Mt. Diablo and Martinez school boards also approved new policies related to student conduct, anti-bullying and sexual harassment to comply with the law. All Mt. Diablo administrators attended anti-bullying training at the beginning of the school year, said Felicia Stuckey-Smith, the district's student services director. The district is also looking at curriculum materials related to bullying.

"We're taking it very seriously," Stuckey-Smith said.

Still, Trustee Gary Eberhart noted that some schools don't always follow district policies consistently. He said the district should review expulsions and suspensions, focusing on how to deal with students who get 10 to 20 "second chances."

At Oak Grove Middle School in Concord last spring, one parent transferred her son to another campus after she said he was choked by another student. Following that incident, two teachers from the school complained to this newspaper that discipline and anti-bullying policies were not adequately enforced on the campus.

By showing "Bully" to nearly all of Oakland's middle and high school students, Superintendent Tony Smith and other civic leaders aim to drive home the importance of the chronic problem -- to teachers and administrators as well as to the students.

"We've got to stand up for our kids, and we've got to stand together," Smith said before the documentary began.

When the movie was over, students asked Hirsch when he had summoned the courage to stand up to bullying, and what had happened to the teen, Alex Libby, who was shown getting beaten up on the bus.

"What happened to the principal at Alex's school? Was she fired?" one student wanted to know.

"She did not get fired," Hirsch responded, which prompted gasps of disbelief in the audience.

In Santa Clara County, high school students have made bullying-prevention a priority. The Silicon Valley Interschool Council, which includes members from many of the county's 78 public high schools plus several private schools, is hoping that students themselves will take responsibility to stop bullying.

Participating students take a pledge not only to try to stop bullying, but also to seek help from adults if students can't handle a situation.

Fanae Clark, 14, who attends Oakland's McClymonds High School, said she plans to do the same. While she always knew that bullying hurt people, she said, she didn't empathize with its victims until she'd watched the documentary. "It makes you become a part of a person who's being bullied," she said.

Staff writers Theresa Harrington, Peter Hegarty and Sharon Noguchi contributed to this report. Read Katy Murphy's Oakland schools blog at www.IBAbuzz.com/education. Follow her at Twitter.com/katymurphy.

The bully Project
For more information on The Bully Project, an anti-bullying campaign that stems from the "Bully" documentary by Lee Hirsch, visit thebullyproject.com.

Seth's Law: Assembly Bill 9
This law was passed in 2011 in response to a tragedy: a gay middle school student from Tehachapi in Kern County who was bullied and who later committed suicide. It took effect on July 1, 2012, and requires school policies that prohibit discrimination, harassment, intimidation and bullying. It also requires that school personnel who witness the behavior take steps to intervene. It also establishes a timeline for schools to investigate and resolve such complaints.

Oakland unified defines bullying"No student or group of students shall, through physical, written, verbal, or other means, harass, sexually harass, threaten, intimidate, cyberbully, cause bodily injury to, or commit hate violence against any other student or school personnel. As examples only, bullying may include, but is not limited to, the following: Physical (pinches, slaps, hits, damage to belongings); Verbal and Nonverbal (threats, insults, teasing, menacing); Relational (rumors, social exclusion); Cyber Bullying (defined more fully below); and/or Retaliation (intimidation, reprisal, or harassment directed against a person who witnesses, reports and/or aids in the investigation of bullying)."

Oakland Unified School District Board Policy 5131.2 (Bullying), passed on Sept. 12, 2012

 

[Andypanda6570]

I am in New York and my Son's school is so active and getting the problem as SOON as it happens. My son was 11 last year and in sixth grade. He would come home with bruises all over his legs and I would ask Anthony why do you have all these fresh and old bruises? He would say MOM it is from playing outside and falling and Soccer, so i believed him it was of course possible. I just noticed a change in him and one night I was just talking and talking and he lost is and started to cry and ran upstairs he would not talk to me only his dad. When my husband came downstairs he said some kid in Anthony's class has been hitting him and abusing him I freaked out and started crying, I should have not done that , cause it only made my son more upset. This kid was 5 foot 8 and 180 pds and he was in 6th grade , my son was 75 pds and barely 5 feet. The kid would kick him under the table with his size 11 feet, do hard that they left indents in his legs and old and fresh scars and bruises. Then in gym he would kick my son with force in his back he would punch him in the back and chest, that is when I got scared, I said he could kill you, all it takes is one wrong hit in the wrong place and that is it. I was ready to kill the kid and his mother........I went on face-book and found the kid, he looked like a football player. I found out his mom's name where she worked and their address. I wanted this info just in case the school did nothing. I went up to school with my husband and son and we sat down with the principal. I started to cry and she was very sympathetic and it was taken care of immediately, the kids mom came to school he was suspended for 3 days and the following year (this year ) he was taken out of the class and to another one, these kids stay together in the same class for 6 7 and 8th grade. My son's school policy on Bullying was outstanding, they have regular assemblies on bullying . I told the principal when I went to see her, if you don't take care of this immediately I will, I will be going to the house and talking with his mother face to face and whatever happens happens but this kid will not touch my son again, she assured me she would take care if it and she did, she also gave them both counseling separate and together. It has been almost a year and everything is fine now and this bullying went on for six months my son was abused for 6 months, i was livid and I wanted to smack this kid, I didn't but I wanted to. My 2 older sons wanted to go up to the school and beat the crap out of this kid, of course I would not let them, but a part of me wanted to. I figured it was only fair to give the school a chance to take care of this and if they didn't i would. I am very proud of my son's school, they attack it as soon as they know about it. i feel awful for the kids who feel they have no way out and take their own lives what a shame..

 

[robinator]

Good on your son's school! Even counseling....? It's comforting to know there are schools out there that take this seriously.

Your poor son, I can't imagine his fear of waking up each morning and knowing what the day would most likely hold. I'm glad you didn't let yourself or your other sons go and beat the crap out of this other kid, and I am amazed at your level of self control and maturity.

I wonder what this kid's story was? It seems like people become bullies for two reasons: they are either bullied by peers and/or their own parents (or see that example set by their parents when interacting with other adults), or they are very insecure and don't know their place in the world.

I don't know whether to feel sorry for bullies or not. I absolutely do not condone or rationalize their behavior. Treating other people like shit is not okay, and I'm not saying "oh, so-and-so bullies so-and-so mercifully, but he's just being a boy..." (or whatever). I do wonder why bullies act out the way they do, and if for a lot of them, their life really does suck.

 

[Andypanda6570]

After all this, I will admit I did feel bad for the kid a little. His parents were recently divorced and his mom worked all the time, she had to she was supporting her family. I think he was so hurt inside that he took it out on other kids, but again i was not going to let it go on and if he touched my son again I would have went straight to his mother. But this kid was hurting inside and I couldn't help but feel a little sad for him, I am a mother and I have compassion, even though I didn't want to feel bad, i did.

 

[Andypanda6570]

Yes they always have counseling after bullying, they get the 2 kids together and they talk about what the problem is. Which i thought was a great thing.

 

[robinator]

That's amazing! It seems most schools either don't have the resources for that, or just don't bother.

What kills me is when the article said several students get 10-20 "second chances". Isn't the first second chance enough? I mean, why would a kid stop bullying when he knows he/she will continue to get away with it?

I wonder if those same kids that get all the second chances are the ones who have perfected the art of adult ass-kissing, coming off all angelic in the principles office. "Who, me?"

 

[Andypanda6570]

What the bullies don't realize that they will sooner or later be going to high-school where kids will be bigger and tougher and they usually get theirs in that way. If more schools would not only stop it but understand why the kid is doing it, I think the outcome would be better for the child. Clearly most of these kids are hurting and that is their way of dealing with it, it also takes the parents to be involved also and sadly most don't give a flying F&^K

 

[robinator]

Clearly most of these kids are hurting and that is their way of dealing with it, it also takes the parents to be involved also and sadly most don't give a flying F&^K

Agreed that these kids aren't getting their emotional needs met at home, and it IS sad. Every kid wants their parents love and attention, and if they aren't getting it, it's gotta be incredibly hurtful. Then the kids act all tough to cover up their hurt, and take it out on everyone else.

Unfortunately, they are now causing a lot of hurt on other kids.

 

[Dragonfly]

I was bullied in school, primary school and secondary school. I was a quiet and submissive child. So i was very open to being bullied. Maybe because my mother was a type of bully to. Sadly parents can either create or leave open to bullies in some cases. And yet will throw their hands in the air when they cant see to "control" their children any more. Then they get punished, again more control and more rebelling. While the read problem never gets fixed. Fix the bullies, then there will be no more victims of bulling. But people are to afraid to find out whats gone on at home first to see how to fix it. If my child was being bullied I would pull them out of the schools and end up home schooling as I dont have faith in parents wanting to fix their children never mind the schools .

 

[robinator]

It is true that parents of bullies don't think their kid is a bully, and you can't change what you don't acknowledge. Sometimes I want to smack the crap out of those parents, like, why do you refuse to see what your kid is doing?

Those parents blame it on the victim, saying they are too sensitive or some such crap.

 

[Jaylynne]

I don't understand the parents thinking their kid is perfect. I just don't get it. They're supposed to know their kids better than anyone else. So sad that parents seem to either put way too much pressure on their kids or completely ignore them for them to become bullies.

If my kid was ever bullied... I really don't know what I would do. Pulling him out of school to be home schooled would be a last resort. I want him to have the social and sports aspects of school. I'd have to restrain DH from going over to the kid's house.

I think the movie is a great idea. Let's the students experience everything from the bullied kids point of view and how they really aren't different. And as for the 10-20 second chances, 3 strikes youre out and expelled in my view. Unless the first were completely horrible.

Shame on the teachers and administrators downplaying bullying! They should be fired.

 

[Dragonfly]

If my children done something wrong at school I couldnt ignore it, I see my children as a reflection of me and couldnt have them acting out in school so I would find the solution before others where hurt. I dont get why people ignore it. I see people "toughening" up kids for school, well if everyone does that its going to be classrooms of aggressive kids and chaos and the few normal kids are going to pay to. I seen some parents think its cool their kids act like that and chalk it down to normal kids behaviour. I believe thats permissive parenting at its worst! Then you get the over controlled kid taking it out on everyone outside the home. Or the ignored one who wants attention and maybe the bad things are the only way they get it. And every single one of them needs help to. And rarely do get it.

 

[ahcigar1]

This subject is a VERY personal one for me and still effects me to this day in my adult years. I was horrendously bullied since I was 4 years old. By teachers, boss's, students, neighborhood children/parents, it was relentless. And quite frankly I am happy to finally see many schools as well as boards and polititians taking a stand in this and working to make an attempt to fix the issue. I only wish it had happened years ago. With my past it also greatly effects how to raise my daughter as well as where to send her to school. She will never go through the public school system. Rather she will be going through private school that does take a VERY strong stance towards bullying. They essentially have a 3 strikes your out policy. 1st strike student gets spoken to by school principle as well as any witnessing school administrator. 2nd strike student brought in with parents as well as all teachers and has lengthy meeting with school principle to resolve the issue and 1 week suspension, 3rd strike student is removed from the school. That is how I think it needs to be handled honestly. These students need to face the concequences for what they are doing. Rather than not having any or hardly any at all. I can remember one instance of another student kicking a bathroom stall door into my face right before class I immediately went and told the teacher what had happened with my nose gushing blood and my eyes already turning black and blue, the student only got 1 hour detention after school (which they never even went to).

 

[robinator]

That is BS!

I like the three strikes you're out rule. I wonder what would happen, though, if the bully in question was the child of one of the school's major donors? I would hope the administrator would not let finances win out over the sake of a bullied child.

 

[ahcigar1]

That is BS!

I like the three strikes you're out rule. I wonder what would happen, though, if the bully in question was the child of one of the school's major donors? I would hope the administrator would not let finances win out over the sake of a bullied child.

What part of what I said is BS?

Also no they do not take financial situations deter their decisions. I had a very lengthy coversation face to face with the schools dean about this and it is something that they take VERY seriously. Also their is no hiding it either because they have cameras in every classroom and hallway as well as around the school grounds. They don't mess around when it comes to this subject. While many schools claim to have zero tolerance policy they more than not only say it and don't follow through. This school follows through with what the rules and consequences state. My nephew already attends this school for the past 4 years. He has personally known one student who has been removed for bullying.

 

[robinator]

The part about the kid only getting one hour detention, and not even going

 

[Jaylynne]

I dont think robinator meant that what you said was bullshit but that you had to go through so much.

 

[Jaylynne]

Whoops posted before I saw you had. Darn crying kid making me take forever...

 

[JASMAK]

1/30 people (yes, all ages) are bullies. People need to take Michael Jackson's advice and look in the mirror and 'make that change'. Bullying is learned...and EVERYWHERE, not just the school grounds. Look at TV shows, how we talk about celebrity's, how we all scoff a people who may look/act weird o different. OUR kids pick that all up...constant in take of bullying. No wonder bullying is such an issue!!

 

[lhancock90]

I agree with Jasmak in many cases bullying is a learned behaviour and many times, its down to the parents to change their behaviour in order to help their kids.