C Section change of mind????

[iwantabub]

Hi Ladies,

I am booked in for a section due to "suspected" hereditary pelvic problems which I may or may not have, (im adopted and i know very limited family history)...

well anyway...i am booked in at 38+5 to have a ELCS. At 20 weeks I had a moment where I really wasn't sure whether I wanted one or not.
DH is so for CS as his first two were so traumatic births the docs basically made his ex have a CS for her third and he said it was the worst experience ever (the birth part not the children part lol)...so he's totally useless with this choice and i know he would much prefer me to go ahead with planned CS....because he hates seeing me in pain

here's the thing... i'm re thinking again....

to be honest all my friends who've had CS loved it, said totally fine and no dramas what so ever and recovery was easy... i also have an incredibly high pain threshold so I'm not concerned about pain at all or recovery really as I am a quick healer from surgeries in the past...for some reason the whole "major surgery" doesnt concern me at all... rather I feel like I'm going to miss out....

I am so confused as what to do... i am so small down there and i tear just from sex sometimes even when dh is extremely gentle, so I can't imagine what a baby will do to me...

however I feel like I want to experience it, i feel like babys been head down snice 20 weeks and is already engaged since 30 and my body seems to be doing so many of the "right" things already that i feel like i may be able to do this on my own....

i dunno what to do... im finding myself praying that i go into labour at 37 weeks so i can experience it before my cs is booked... but i dont wanna cancel my cs either coz what if i have massive tears and have huge issues and end up with one anyway at 41 weeks if he goes late...


i dunno what to do... any of u had to make the decision between ELCS or Natural???????

 

[d_b]

I haven't had to make this choice but it sounds like you may regret not trying for a vaginal birth so maybe you should try? You should ask beforehand but i assume if the doctors are aware of your potential pelvis issue they won't hesitate to take you for an EMCS if things don't go right.

As for OH seeing you in pain, he will definately see you in pain after a section. My friends who had one could barely sit up or walk afterwards. I also know girls who had a pain free labour and delivery due to the epidural.

 

[SHAMto3]

I say if possible go through labour. Worse case you aren't able to deliver vaginally then you go for a CS, best case it all works out fine!

 

[iwantabub]

i can go for a CS if i go into labour naturally mw said thats fine... its just weather to cancell my ELCS or keep the date....

im scared if i cancell it i will neeed to be induced anyway or go over due and i think this baby will be bigger aswell and add too my issues with vaginally...

 

[laila 44]

You sound exactly like me in my last pregnancy! I wanted a c's from the start as everyone including dr thought baby wouldn't fit ( I'm tiny baby was huge). Baby was ready to go as of 30 weeks too, in perfect position etc. I had to be induced die to medical reasons at 38 weeks and so I caved and cancelled the cs and went ahead with the induction in hopes of going vaginally. Huge mistake for me. 26 hrs of labor, failed induction, made it to 10 cm and low and behold, baby didn't fit so failed to descent and off to emergency csection I went. Wish I had avoided all that crap and just went with my instincts from the beginning. Don't want to discourage you, but my csection was a walk in the park! I can't wait to do it again soon. Hope u make the right choice for you xx

 

[iwantabub]

thanks laila ... i keep reading all these horror cs stories on here aswell which isnt helping... all the people ive spoken to in person say it was a walk in the park aswell....

its hard to judge how i will be but im so scared he wont fit...

doesnt help at the us last week his head was measuring biggest measurment of all lol

 

[jen435]

how big is your baby measuring? I hope you can come to terms and do what is best for you! Could you move your ELCS to 39+ weeks? Maybe that will make you feel a little better? This is your baby and you should feel good with your decision and choice. As for tearing everytime you dtd with dh I am same always tear and bleed. There is peri massage that can be done before the head comes out. Have you spoke with your dh about having him do that for you or your doctor can even do it while you are in labor. Its an option but if you feel the CS would be best for you then thats what you should do! Sounds like youd really like to try natural though. I hope you can come to terms with what is best for you. Its great that you have high tolerance for pain so maybe you would feel better asking for a EMCS if you really cant or dont feel up to it. Best of luck!

 

[Bubsta]

I had a friend who had 2 c-sects with her sons because they just wouldn't fit. She said that she felt like she missed out. So as a FTM, I really took this to heart and really didnt want a c-sect.... Well, low and behold, after I failed to dilate, was induced... Ended up with an EMCS. Let me tell you, after experiencing that... I soooo didn't feel like I missed out by not having a vaginal birth. To me it was a relief to have a c-sect. Yes, you do have to heal after but it really wasn't that bad. I coped fine. It has been really hard for me to try for a VBAC this time around... And I really have to force myself to try and continue down this path. I even said to my OB today, if this baby is 4kg to cut him out of me! (I don't think he thought I was serious.... Well I am). There are always going to be 'what if's' Hun. You go with your heart. There is no right or wrong answer. Xxx

 

[Eleanor ace]

I had a vaginal delivery with DS and had the option of c-section or attempted vaginal with DD, due to bad tearing with DS. I have a narrow pelvis, and I have torn from sex/vaginal exams, but delivering DS was fine and he was quite big- 9lb 15oz (I know I tore but it was due to DS coming out with his hand by his face, not to do with my pelvis size or his size). With DD I had a little 1st degree tear and didn't even get stitched!
It' such a hard decision as you don't know what will happen but if you want to try for a vaginal delivery I'd go for it.

 

[_Lexi_]

I had to have a c section at 34 weeks due to severe iugr and low fluid. I was one of the women that was really effected by it. I felt like us failed my baby, that I couldn't do what a woman's body was designed to do, grow and birth a baby. I honestly really feel like I missed out on the experience. My c section was 'ok' but my recovery was horrendous. I was offered a c section again this time, but I have turned it down and going for a vbac. My consultant has been great. I'm wary about being induced because of the increased risk of uterine rupture, so we've agreed if I go into labour before 41 weeks, fine, if not, I can have a c section at 41 weeks. I'm not allowed to go more than a week over because of the previous c section. Could you not push the date back a bit to give your body a chance if that's what you want? I've had to have counselling to help with my feelings of failure, it is very real. My worst nightmare is needing another c section, I'll only be having another if its shown there's any problems/concerns with baby. x

 

[xdxxtx]

My mother and sister and down the line has a hereditary inability to dilate. They both went through torturous DAYS of induced labor and both ended up needing emergency c-sections with their first kids. Their seconds were just scheduled c-sections that went smoothly.

Knowing that, I was terrified that I'd have this issue, so I scheduled a c-section for 40 weeks with my first. My mom and sister never went into labor and carried their first kids very late before being induced. So, I figured I'd bite the bullet at 40 weeks. My water broke as I was getting into bed for the night at 38w2d, though, and my baby was born naturally the next day. It was such an amazing experience that I'm praying I get to have that experience again.

Not everyone recalls labor being so wonderful, though. Me? I slept through it and told the MW to wake me when it was time to push. It was so easy and natural for me, and she was extremely surprised. I didn't even yell or make any sounds during delivery because that baby just popped right out for me. No tears or anything. Obviously, I got my birthing "skills" from my father's side of the family. (They're known to have 13+ kids and easy deliveries.)

It's a gamble, definitely. But, being that I had such an amazing delivery and such a great time doing it, I would hate to see someone miss out on it when they don't have to. I mean, it's worth giving it a shot if you want the experience, but have it in your mind that a c-section is a very likely possibility so you don't have disappointment. Either way, whatever results in a healthy, wonderful baby will be worth it.

 

[Zfbaby]

I feel like I could have written this post. Had an appt on Monday with my
Consultant who booked me for a c-section, baby is already measuring big with 3 weeks to go and like you I have pelvic/hip issues. Ever since I found out for sure I've been doubting myself and wondering if I can do it naturally. I've been feeling really down since as I'm not sure what to do and like you keep hoping I'll go early so I can try but at the same time
I'm scared lo will get stuck and hurt. My dh is the same as yours an wants me to just go ahead with the c-section as he feels it's safer for baby but Im scared for me too.

 

[CatherineK]

I've broken my pelvis 10 years ago and it healed a bit crooked, yet I've had two easy vaginal births so far. You have every right to a c-section if YOU want, but don't be afraid to try vaginal delivery...

 

[AlesiaNicole]

You will hear horror stories from both sides. And positive ones as well. You have to separate what you want from what you're hearing and being told. Either way you end up with your baby. But don't let anyone's comments or stories cloud your decision. Spend some quiet time alone thinking or writing down your thoughts and hopefully you can make a decision and come to peace with it. Good luck.

 

[iwantabub]

Thanks ladies...
Your all such a big help...

I am measuring big on fundal height and the scan said he was right on track.. However me and dh and all Dhs kids were all high 8-9pounds so I'm scared if I move the section back he will be massive and if I go into labour as planned I will def need a section anyway.

Do the gym balls work? I was thinking of getting one and using it for a while and trying to bring labour on after 37 weeks... I figure I have from 37-38+5 to try and go into labour.... I'm scared of using epo and stuff and am gonna do a bit more reading...
Is a birth ball a good idea?

Thanks again...

All your experiences help so much... I just want my little man here safe and sound and I wanna be healthy enough to hold and look after him