Can Attachment Parenting Effect Your Marriage/Partnership?

[Lellow]

Hello

I was having a quick gander at the Daily Fail and i came across this article.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowb...nt-parenting-NOT-blame.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

Its sort of hinting that the marriage breakdown is due to how full on mum was/is with her sons and that her style of parenting came between there r/ship.

Thoughts?

 

[Eleanor ace]

Ahh, who can say . I have mummy friends from toddler group who follow attachment parenting, some of them say it has made their marriages a real struggle and they've basically transferred all their love to their children. Others say its bought them and their partner closer. I guess it depends on whether you're both committed to it- I know it would cause massive problems in my relationship if I started parenting in a way DH wasn't on board with and vice versa.

 

[Lellow]

I think i agree with you regarding whether both parents follow the same method.

If they conflict in how they wish to parent a child then a clash is inevitable, thus making the r/ship very difficult to maintain.

 

[jenkins]

I think a difference in parenting styles definitely has the potential to damage a marriage, rather than following a particular style.

Some of the comments on that article are horrendous, judgemental and simply misinformed

 

[Sarahwoo]

Typical daily fail comments

Do they not realise that there are plenty of places to other than the bed

 

[Lellow]

The comments are quite harsh, the issue is, the majority actually agree.

 

[Dragonfly]

As other have said to its not just one style thats ended a marriage? what a weird headline to. Two parents have different styles they will have problems if they cant agree. Could flip it around and say mainstream parenting ended relationship.......wouldn't go down well. But thats the daily fail for you, they really dont like AP or breastfeeding at all. Both myself and partner would slighly different, he was raised rougher than me but dosnt raise our kids like he was. I hate how it separates everyone I just call it parenting, I do it my way and thats it.

 

[Bevziibubble]

I don't think it causes problems. The only problem we've had is my husband's family saying I'm making a rod for my own back an making LO spoilt and clingy and I'll regret it. My husband was quite influenced by them and for a while was telling me that LO was manipulating us, until I showed him research and studies and he then started sticking up to his family and not listening to their negativity.

We haven't shared a bed for long before LO was here because hubby snores loudly, takes all the space and duvet up and wants the dog in bed next to him which is really annoying! Sleeping in separate rooms isn't a problem for us. I guess everyone's situation is different but I don't think my parenting style has caused us problems

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I hate labels about certain types of parenting anyway, we are not robots!

 

[Dragonfly]

I hate labels about certain types of parenting anyway, we are not robots!

Agreed, we are all parents and people. Like Mayim and her husband who didnt get along. I dont know why they blame labels for

 

[lhancock90]

She is so pretty outside of that show!
I think both parents need to be invested in the style of parenting or yes, it will cause problems

 

[Toms Mummy]

Aww, I really like Mayim Bialik!.... Her blog is great! I can understand why the Daily Fail would atumatically pick up on the AP being the issue as she does promote it, and is known a lot for that as well as her acting in the US.

Bot me and OH are ap perents to our 3yr old, him more so than me... it comes more natural to him. I read a lot about ap but OH is just completely in tune with it!!.... Our relationship is fine

 

[Pearls18]

I don't know the ins and outs of attachment parenting (bloody hate all these labels enough as it is!!!) but I think it would affect our marriage. I treasure our evenings together, LO is in hs own bed by 7, the evening is for my husband and I and our bed is for us, my favourite time of day is going to bed and just chatting endlessly about anything. For us this works, and Elliot benefits from happy in love parents but whatever floats your boat!

 

[Tegans Mama]

I think that if a relationship is not strong, and the parents are not meant to be together, having a child will wreck it, however you chose to parent. Traditional, baby led, attachment, whatever (hate labels) but if a marriage is not meant to be, the child will ruin it regardless of what you do IMO.

Just to add by ruin it I mean make whatever cracks there were before a child a million times wider.

 

[Pearls18]

I think that if a relationship is not strong, and the parents are not meant to be together, having a child will wreck it, however you chose to parent. Traditional, baby led, attachment, whatever (hate labels) but if a marriage is not meant to be, the child will ruin it regardless of what you do IMO.

Just to add by ruin it I mean make whatever cracks there were before a child a million times wider.

I agree and what a PP said about if parents want different 'techniques'. AP wouldn't work for me, it wouldn't my OH and it wouldn't our relationship just like the way we parent wouldn't suit others- thankfully my DH and i are likeminded with these things but i guess that's one reason for our strong relationship (because our choices are alike, not what our choices actually are) If her husband wasn't keen on AP I can see how it would cause friction, it would probably mean they're different people, but if they were both supporters for it I fail to see how it can cause a problem in their marriage if not for previous cracks.

 

[Dragonfly]

I don't know the ins and outs of attachment parenting (bloody hate all these labels enough as it is!!!) but I think it would affect our marriage. I treasure our evenings together, LO is in hs own bed by 7, the evening is for my husband and I and our bed is for us, my favourite time of day is going to bed and just chatting endlessly about anything. For us this works, and Elliot benefits from happy in love parents but whatever floats your boat!

You do get time away from your kids you know. Mine go to bed in the evenings leaving me and other half to do whatever. I think people have misconceptions. Maybe some parents are more ap than others but I just call it parenting by me. I make the rules that suit my personality and my family, I think we all do that anyway. I couldn't do any other way of parenting I wouldn't be in a happy house at all then. It wouldn't work for us. My partner dosnt even know what the term AP is he dosnt read about things like that or go near parenting things online yet done it from the start. You parent according to you style.

Still unfair of this article to blame one end. You never see one saying "authoritarian parenting ruined my marriage". Because it came from daily fail who dislike AP a lot I am not shocked.

 

[Pearls18]

I don't know the ins and outs of attachment parenting (bloody hate all these labels enough as it is!!!) but I think it would affect our marriage. I treasure our evenings together, LO is in hs own bed by 7, the evening is for my husband and I and our bed is for us, my favourite time of day is going to bed and just chatting endlessly about anything. For us this works, and Elliot benefits from happy in love parents but whatever floats your boat!

You do get time away from your kids you know. Mine go to bed in the evenings leaving me and other half to do whatever. I think people have misconceptions. Maybe some parents are more ap than others but I just call it parenting by me. I make the rules that suit my personality and my family, I think we all do that anyway. I couldn't do any other way of parenting I wouldn't be in a happy house at all then. It wouldn't work for us. My partner dosnt even know what the term AP is he dosnt read about things like that or go near parenting things online yet done it from the start. You parent according to you style.

Still unfair of this article to blame one end. You never see one saying "authoritarian parenting ruined my marriage". Because it came from daily fail who dislike AP a lot I am not shocked.

Sorry I did say I didn't know the ins and outs but I'm pretty certain I'm the other end of the so called spectrum, as you say I've never read a book on a certain style I just do what suits us but from this forum I know I am more parent-led....or authoritarian haha....lord not heard that one before! As you say Daily Fail, if they're not insulting one set of people it's not a true day's work for them!

 

[Pearls18]

I just looked up AP and realise I do quite a bit of it lol, or at least I have done. Goes to show what I know, not that I'm describing myself as AP because I don't think I am but it goes to show few people follow one philosophy or might do something unknowingly.

 

[Dragonfly]

Most people do do it naturally anyway. I never read a book on parenting either. But daily fail would have people thinking some parents are mental for what they do, they always bash parenting, normally Aps and especially breastfeeding. I wont even look at the comments on the article I can predict what they are saying. I think Mayim really does put up with a lot from the media.

 

[Toms Mummy]

We definately do alot of ap naturally.... it wasn't until a 2 yrs after having LO that I heard the term and noticed that a lot of the ways I parent are similar. My OH has never heard of ap but he does a lot more of it than I do just naturally..... It's just a natural way of parenting for a lot of people, just like being more parent led is also natural for alot of people x