Can I get some opinions please? Worried about autism/ADHD/developmental delay

[little_em]

Hi all,

I was wondering if I could get some advice from those of you with first hand experience. I've taken the m chat test online and it's came back as low risk. I also have the health visitor coming out to see us next week and have arranged for Charlie's hearing to be tested but I'd really appreciate some of your opinions. I've worried about Charlie for a long time probably about 6 months on and off where some days I think he's fine and others I worry. I just wish I'd started looking into this as soon as I had concerns.
So this is Charlie-he's now 2 years 7 months. He's a late talker. He can say lots and lots of words but had only recently started putting them together but still very rarely. The only time he puts words together is with 'more' 'oh no' 'wait'. He was referred to speech therapy in the summer went for an assessment and were on the waiting list for a group session. He will use words to ask for things and if he doesn't know a word will take me to what he wants or point.
His attention is one of my main concerns. He doesn't have a great attention span, but if he's interested in something he can sit for ages playing. It's hard to get his attention if he is playing or watching the telly. I can say his name and he won't respond until he likes the sound of something. Like I can say 'Charlie, Charlie, Charlie' and he won't look until I say 'Charlie do you want something to eat'.
He just wants to do what he wants to do. So for example we went to an activity today where he had to listen and do as he was told. He got up and ran off at every opportunity. Until he was interested in the part where you had to collect a ball and put it on a cone and then match up colours. So he can follow direction and does understand but it's all on his terms-when and if he wants to do it.
I can ask him if he wants some breakfast, he'll say yes and I'll ask him what he wants, he'll tell me. But once he's eating his breakfast ill ask him if its nice and hell completely ignore me like I'm not even there.
He doesn't walk on tiptoe or flap his hands but when playing with cars he does like to focus on the wheels.

I'm sorry for the essay, but I'm very concerned and after worrying for months it's driving me insane. A lot of what I've described could be normal stubborn toddler behaviour I guess but I just don't know. Your thoughts would be appreciated. Xxx

 

[RachA]

I can't say anything from an autism/adhd perspective but from a developmental delay one i wouldn't say i'd be overly concerned. We have recently been told our daughter has a DD. She is 3yr 1month and she only says about 4 regular words and 3/4 signs. It is mostly her speech that is delayed although her motor skills are a little behind.

A lot of the stuff that your lo does/doesn't do does to me sound like typical toddler behaviour but others who have children with autism/adhd should be able to tell you if it is normal or not.

 

[little_em]

Thanks for your reply. I guess I'm just very confused and it's killing me. I feel like I'm constantly analysing what he does when I should just be enjoying him. My main worry is that he doesn't listen and sometimes he'll play with things like cars normally but sometimes he'll lie down and play with them so he can look at the wheels. Ah why are kids such a worry

 

[AimeeM]

Id say, really, as his mum you will know deep down whether to be concerned or not. It is hard with younger kids but if you sense something is not quite right then follow your instincts as a mum x

 

[beatnick]

Im not sure about the speech aspect but much of your description sounds like a regular toddler.

zakk zones into tv and i have to shout to him to get his attention. plus sometimes he goes into a daydream mode. he also is quite specific with his playing- often repeating things rather than focusing on the bigger idea of the game. but i would say its just his imagination growing.

i think your instinct is to seek help but much of what you have said sounds in the range of regular toddler behaviour.

 

[MikaylasMummy]

He sounds quite normal to me!my dd,who I would say is of higher intelligence and ahead developmentally used to COMPLETELY IGNORE ME when she was busy and didn't want to talk.infact at 4.5 she still does this quite often.and she is socially advanced as well.
Putting it in perspective,my lo is 25 months old and has about 10 words and only half of those are properly formed.but he understands everything and is very social and loving so I'm not concerned about anything other than speech delay.
Your lo sounds very very normal and not even severely far behind with his speech.personally if these are the only indicators I think he is probably fine but mum knows best so if you really feel something is just not right speak to his doctor

 

[MikaylasMummy]

Oh,and for the fixation thing,my ds is obsessed with doors.they have to be closed or he gets funny about it!a cupboard door at our old place came off and oh put it back on too tight so it wouldn't shut properly and for a few days it drove him mad!toddlers have their funny little things.

 

[little_em]

Thank you everyone for your replies. I am a natural worrier, so it could be me worrying about nothing and my family seem to think he's fine. I have the Hv coming on Wednesday so I guess she'll let me know her thoughts, either to put my mind at rest or start to think where we go next. Thanks again xxx

 

[24/7]

How did it go with the HV?

I know Sam is younger, but he is exactly the same, and has about six unclear words. xx

 

[little_em]

HV appointment went well actually. She listened to everything me and OH had concerns about. She was with us for about an hour and said that she's not concerned and I need to stop worrying. We got our group speech therapy appointment through this week though and today was our first appointment. It went okish. The first half hour was free play and Charlie who has the attention span of a gnat fluted from activity to activity. Then we moved on to activities which I was ommediatley dreading because although Charlie can take direction it's generally on his terms. The first activity was feely bag. They got a bag out which was filled with items. Charlie pulled out a toy table and when the speech therapist said 'Charlie has picked a...' Charlie said 'table' which I was pleased with and it made me relax a bit. The next activity was a tunnel where the kids went through a tunnel and then had to name an item at the end, which Charlie didn't do. Then it was snack time. Charlie had grapes and when he was finished he asked for 'more grapes' which I was pleased with. Then it was song time! Charlie hates song time at every Playgroup we go to so I knew he wouldn't participate. He did sit on my knee in the group but he didn't join in. So all in all a mixed bag. I did stress my concerns to the speech therapist at the end of the session and she pointed out that he doesn't make great eye contact and I know that. He doesn't make great eye contact when someone is talking for him, but does make good eye contact when he is asking me for something or pointing something out to me. She just says we'll assess him on the full 6 week course and then make the decision if he needs to be referred.

 

[AimeeM]

Hope the next 6 weeks goes well If your hv isn't concerned then that is good x

 

[Hiswillforme]

More than likely your son is perfectly fine! If you have deep concerns, your heart will tell you. If you are cautious and want to be certain, seek specialist if the lack of eye contact and speech delay continues.

I have two boys, one diagnosed with Aspergers (Autism Spectrum Disorder) at age 7. My concern for him started at 9 months and the DR., insisted that he was fine. After having him tested around 2, he's excelled from speech and occupational therapy. Being his advocate since he was a little guy has improved his outcome.

Follow your motherly senses..... The two of you will be fine regardless