can I make him talk to me??

[SophiasMummy]

Ok so FOB hasnt seen sophia in over 3 months the last couple days ive been trying to talk to him and get him to tell me why he wont see her, I told him that he is being completly unfair to our daughter and needs to start acting like a dad to her and stop punishing her by not being there for her, but he wont answer me hes ignoring my texts and wont answer the phone, I know he hasnt changed his number as I talk to one of his sisters. He told his sister he has no money to come down and see sophia which his sister has even sed is rubbish and he even made an excuse not to come when his sisters were coming down to see sophia and they offered to drive him down here ( he only an hour away by train).

im getting so frustrated, hes being so childish in ignoring me, I just feel like screaming at him. I really want him to come and see his daughter and be a part of her life and I know me and him obviously need to talk so I can find out why he just suddenly stopped coming to see her, not that he came regularly before anyway. Everyone keeps telling me just to forget about it, which I would if he would just tell me that he doesnt want to see her rather than ignore me he makes me so mad, but I just feel I cant give up on trying to encourage a relationship between him and his daughter, not for his sake but for sophias.

is there any way I can make him talk to me??

 

[AbbynChloe]

I'm sorry sweetie, but it has taken me a VERY long time to realise you can't "make" someone talk to you.

He sounds like he is very immature and selfish. These guys don't realise what impact their behavior will have on the LO's esp if they flitter in and out.

I think you should cut your losses and stop chasing - at least you can tell you daughter you tried everything to get him involved - but its a two way street.

 

[SophiasMummy]

I'm sorry sweetie, but it has taken me a VERY long time to realise you can't "make" someone talk to you.

He sounds like he is very immature and selfish. These guys don't realise what impact their behavior will have on the LO's esp if they flitter in and out.

I think you should cut your losses and stop chasing - at least you can tell you daughter you tried everything to get him involved - but its a two way street.

I know I really wanna just let it go, but I keep feeling like I havent done enough, I think its mostly that im scared of when she older and her blaming me for him not bothering, as its what I did to my mum when I was a teenager. I wish he wasnt such a waste of space xx. I only dont make him pay csa in the hope that he will see her but thats going to change now if hes gunna be immature and selfish then he can at least pay towards giving his daughter a good life xx

 

[Rhio92]

I know it's hard hun, but if he's a dick and got his mind set, there's not much you can do x

 

[janicate]

Ok so FOB hasnt seen sophia in over 3 months the last couple days ive been trying to talk to him and get him to tell me why he wont see her, I told him that he is being completly unfair to our daughter and needs to start acting like a dad to her and stop punishing her by not being there for her, but he wont answer me hes ignoring my texts and wont answer the phone, I know he hasnt changed his number as I talk to one of his sisters. He told his sister he has no money to come down and see sophia which his sister has even sed is rubbish and he even made an excuse not to come when his sisters were coming down to see sophia and they offered to drive him down here ( he only an hour away by train).

im getting so frustrated, hes being so childish in ignoring me, I just feel like screaming at him. I really want him to come and see his daughter and be a part of her life and I know me and him obviously need to talk so I can find out why he just suddenly stopped coming to see her, not that he came regularly before anyway. Everyone keeps telling me just to forget about it, which I would if he would just tell me that he doesnt want to see her rather than ignore me he makes me so mad, but I just feel I cant give up on trying to encourage a relationship between him and his daughter, not for his sake but for sophias.

is there any way I can make him talk to me??

Try and try until you success. Just give him time and someday he will realize that he has a family.

 

[SophiasMummy]

Thats the problem though ive tried and tried for over 10 months, he doesnt even know his daughters birthday and if he doesnt turn up for it then thats the final straw im sick of trying now, he can go take a long walk off a short peir, cuz his daughter will be better off without him

 

[Vixen_17]

I don't know how you ladies feel about your exes and your children but I vowed that I would do everything possible for my son so that when he's an adult he will never be able to say that I didn't try.

If I was in your situation I would write my daughter a letter right now for her to read when she's older. Explain that you've tried and tried to have contact with him, that you've bent over backwards but he's being really unhelpful. From where you're standing right now your conscience should be clear that you've done everything in your power.

Once you've written it, make a resolution that he CHOSE to be out of your daughter's life and now you will accept that decision and move on. From this point forward it's just you and her. You'll both be much happier for it.

 

[SophiasMummy]

I don't know how you ladies feel about your exes and your children but I vowed that I would do everything possible for my son so that when he's an adult he will never be able to say that I didn't try.

If I was in your situation I would write my daughter a letter right now for her to read when she's older. Explain that you've tried and tried to have contact with him, that you've bent over backwards but he's being really unhelpful. From where you're standing right now your conscience should be clear that you've done everything in your power.

Once you've written it, make a resolution that he CHOSE to be out of your daughter's life and now you will accept that decision and move on. From this point forward it's just you and her. You'll both be much happier for it.

Thanks hun, im going to write a letter to her each year on her birthday until shes 18 anyway so I think I will write it in her letter or write an extra little letter about it to put in xx

 

[MummyJade]

When i was going through solicitors to get FOB to see out daughter my solicitor said. you cant force anyone to have contact if they dont want too... its sad but true, i have all the letters safe so my daughter can see them when older, the letter thing is a good idea....

i got done trying to force contact just for my daughter to get let down, FOB didnt see LO for 4 months, then i thought right one last chance on trying.. and he has now been seeing LO for 2 weeks, all well so far...

just leave him too it love, hard i know, but your daughter will see you have tried...
xx

 

[amotherslove]

oh how i WISH there was a way to MAKE them talk to you.