Can I now join you ladies???

[hancake100]

Hi
I have posted in here before asking for a little advise when me ond oh had a big row and went on a break.......... but we worked things out untill last weekend

We have been together for about 5years, But we did split before I found out I was pregnant. I was scared to tell him but everything worked out in the end and we made it work.

We have had our ups and downs since Ellie has been born and now it has really taken its toll on me and I no longer have it in me to fight for what we have. I still love him so so very much and it is so upsetting but he has made his mind up and no longer wants anything to do with me I just am finding it so hard to understand at the moment as I have never ever done anything to hurt him, I have only ever tried to make him happy and he did make me happy most of the time.

He has been up and down with his feeling saying he doesnt know what he wants any more etc....... But this time is happend on monday and I was staying at his house (we dont live together thank god) he was at work and me and Ellie went shpping in town and he text me saying, That he really doesnt think its working and that he is living a lie by staying with me as he has lost all feelings for me and he has just been in it for Ellie and he can no longer put himself through that any more
Since then we havent spoken untill today where he said that he will put up with not seeing Ellie as long as it means to having to see me and that we are going through the CSA etc.............. He has just been so mean in texts and talk about kicking someone when they are down. I just feel a little like a zombie at the moment as I dont 100% believe what is going on but it is.

Anyway, I have contacted tha CSA and that is going to be sorted and we wants contact sorted but not through me, So I have been told to seek advice at the CAB and to get a solicitor. I have text him just making sure that he wants to go downt this root before it starts getting messy and he said yes if it mean me out of his life.

He is being so Evil to me and I dont have a clue why or what I have done to him but I am so drained and upset I dont have it in me to question him and I think this is just the right time to let him go.

When he comes here or me and Ellie go to his he spends most of the time either playing games, looking on facebook or anything else he finds to do with himself other than give us attention. He also goes out most weekends with his mates while I am stuck in all the time (I would never change having Ellie for the world but I would like some me time sometimes) When we are together I feel like I have 2 babies and I have to take care of them both. I would NEVER NEVER trust him with her alone as to be honest her really doesnt know who she is as a person iykwim. I know what she wants and her different crys and he is just what is wrong with her now, he just doesnt have a clue. He has NOTHING what so ever at his house for her so everytime we go there I have to almost pack up my whole house to take with us. When we get there I have to clean the whole place before I can set all of Ellie things up while the lazy ******* just sits on his arse.

I know dont the long run that I will come out better in all of this and I will meet someone one day that will love me for who I am and want to spend time with both me and Ellie together. But because my feeling are still up the and how much I love him still this is hurting waaaaaaay to much!!!

How do you girls get through it???? I just feel so sad and today it has really hit me big time.

Sorry for the long rant and moan and there is prob alot more to tell you but my head is a little up my arse at the moment and just needed to get something out there....................

 

[billy2mm]

right -

he doesnt deserve you or his daughter!!!

to say he is happy enough to go without seeing his daughter to save himself from seeing you? he should be walking to the ends of the earth over broken glass and hot coals to see her and doing anything you tell him!!!

sounds to me like he has a guilty conscience over something and that is why he is being so nasty to you to try to make you be nasty back to him so he doesnt feel so bad about himself.

regardless of any of this, you are so much better than him. dont contact him again do it all through the solicitors. if he contacts you about your daughter then either give him the basic info eg "she is fine" or say you wanted no contact so contact my solicitor.

 

[hancake100]

Thankyou
You are tight, he doesnt deserve either of us and he has walked all over me for a long time now and I am nolonger the same person I used to be. I would give up doing things that make me happy for him. I would do anything in the whole world for him but I cannot do that any longer and I need to give my all to Ellie as she is what matters the most.
I just hope it doesnt get to messy, the way I feel at the moment I just dont think I could cope with it all.

 

[billy2mm]

take it one day at a time thats the best thing you can do.

i tried to take too much on with college and the divorce and the kids being ill and i ended up just about driven nuts coz i was doing too much!!

work out what the most pressing important things are you need to do (csa and access and any benefits etc you need to sort out) and leave the rest of the stuff till a later date.

i found the best bit of advice i had when i was struggling was that the dishes and washing could wait and i just needed to play with my boys and chill out and forget everything else!

 

[xJG30]

Welcome

 

[sophxx]

loads of hugs hun! he really doesnt deserve you or ellie i really cant give you advice on him seeing her but if hes being awful in texts just dont even give him the benift of txting him back i know its hard but he ll just carry on!

i know weve not managed to meet up but im only 10 min away if that you can always come to us for a coffee and a chat or we could meet in town! if you need anything at all just ask or if you ever want to get out we could always go to the pictures or shopping they even do mum and baby cinema at the trafford center

 

[hancake100]

loads of hugs hun! he really doesnt deserve you or ellie i really cant give you advice on him seeing her but if hes being awful in texts just dont even give him the benift of txting him back i know its hard but he ll just carry on!

i know weve not managed to meet up but im only 10 min away if that you can always come to us for a coffee and a chat or we could meet in town! if you need anything at all just ask or if you ever want to get out we could always go to the pictures or shopping they even do mum and baby cinema at the trafford center

Hi hun,
So sorry I have not been intouch, Ive not really spoken to many people with all this going on but life goes on ay
Hope you had a good birthday by the way Did you say you were free to meet up next week?? That would be good, could have a coffee and a good chat and meet each others lo's x x x x x x

 

[sophxx]

yeh im free next week anh day but wednesday! pm me and we can arrange a day! dont worry about not being in touch imsure youve got more important things on your mind! x


i had a really good birthday thanks xx

 

[blinkybaby]

I don't understand why he is being so mean? If it's just a case of he doesn't love you anymore, that's no reason to get nasty about things! I agree he must have a guilty conscience - I hope you feel better soon hunny.xx

 

[hancake100]

yeh im free next week anh day but wednesday! pm me and we can arrange a day! dont worry about not being in touch imsure youve got more important things on your mind! x


i had a really good birthday thanks xx

Okie dokie x x x

 

[hancake100]

I don't understand why he is being so mean? If it's just a case of he doesn't love you anymore, that's no reason to get nasty about things! I agree he must have a guilty conscience - I hope you feel better soon hunny.xx

ummmmm yeah it could well be a guilty conscience, and even if it is just the he doesnt love me any more then he has no right to be so nasty to me you are right.

None of my friends and family have EVER been really that sure of him but have just put up with him for the sake of me and it always felt a little on the funny side when we were all together so I guess thats one thing I wont have to go through.

He has walked over me for far to long now and he has brought me down. I just want the old me back and get on with me being a mummy. I know it is going to be tough at time but I do know deep down that I can do this for me and Ellie.

 

[hancake100]

I have a photo frame up in the hall way that has 3 photos in a row and they were of me and oh then one of Ellie when we got out 3D scan then another under of me and the oh. Well I have just changed them and printed out some beautiful pics of my little baby girl and put them up instead. I feel proud of myself for doing that

Also, I started to do Ellie baby book the other week and when you first open it on a double page its 'mummy and daddy waiting for you' and its pics of me and him when I were pregnant and my big bump when we went on our holiday just before she was born and in the hospital all happy time. Do you think I should leave that for her for her to look at when she is older??? Or should I scrap that and buy a new one and start a fresh??

I have also got most of his clothes here so I have just been and got them out and emptied his draw and put them all in a pile.

In the past when we have had our ups and down I have just been a complete mess and not even been anywhere near doing anything like that. So its making me think that this time I can do it and I can be stong or I dont know If im just making myself believe that by doing these things. Just hope I dont turn into a nutter

 

[suzanne108]

Soph & Hancake - I live on the outskirts of Manc. We should meet up in the trafford centre! (I don't know anywhere else in Manc!)

And welcome Hancake sorry to hear about the split xxx

 

[sophxx]

Soph & Hancake - I live on the outskirts of Manc. We should meet up in the trafford centre! (I don't know anywhere else in Manc!)

And welcome Hancake sorry to hear about the split xxx

yeh def sounds like a plan they have baby cinema on a tuesday every week or we could just do coffee and lunch! x

 

[hancake100]

Soph & Hancake - I live on the outskirts of Manc. We should meet up in the trafford centre! (I don't know anywhere else in Manc!)

And welcome Hancake sorry to hear about the split xxx

yeh def sounds like a plan they have baby cinema on a tuesday every week or we could just do coffee and lunch! x

Sounds good to me to hun.

Soph, I am free to meet in Rawtenstall on Thursday if thats good for you

 

[isil]

firstly Han, I'm sorry it's ended up like this for you but it sounds like it's for the best unfortunately.

Also, 'traffooooooord'. You scallies

 

[hancake100]

thanks isil
and ay, I love the trafford............. lol

 

[isil]

me too really