CAN you prepare for breast feeding?!

[cupcaker]

Thanks for all replies it's really interesting to hear the views. Having eventually ended up formula feeding with LO as stated, I now feel formula is an incredible thing and we are all extremely fortunate to have that wonderful option in life. It turned those newborn days 360 for me....it was a simply amazing feeling to switch to formula....sitting there enjoying feeding my baby rather than crying and no doubt passing on my anxieties to baby. ' Just a shame it came with guilt and tears first, due to all the pressure I had put on myself to breastfeed.

As a first time mum back then, I was naive about formula. Because of all the "in your face" things about breastfeeding, I, by default, became under the impression formula was considered a lazy option or not "the best for your baby" etc. When people asked if I had made my mind up whether the breastfeed or formula feed, I always snapped "breastfeed!" thinking "why would you even ask? of course I will breastfeed". I was so anti-formula without even knowing much about it. Nobody sits you down and points out the pros of formula, but by hell they will tell u 101 pros about breastfeeding!!!!

I am far more relaxed now and look back and think you silly girl for getting all worked up over something as simple as bottles.

I have also seen things on facebook that are pro-BF (fair enough), but one of which was a very stupid and annoying "phrase" coined on Medela's facebook page in the large picture area at the top. It said something like

"I have everything my baby needs. I breastfeed." or something along those lines.
I found it annoying anyway.

I know they are OBVIOUSLY going to post pro breastfeeding things because of the nature of their products, but god. breastfeeding does not a wonder-mum make alone.

 

[Laylagirl]

Ive never seen the bullying method of breastfeeding encouragement....but i know some people do see formula feeding as a negative thing. I think breastfeeding should be natural, but i also think it takes work and patience. I know a lot of women who have, sadly, given up because of the pain. I truly believe that if it still hurts after two weeks, the latch on is incorrect, but that breastfeeding initially isn't going to be painless. Its very painful in the beginning. Ive breast fed three children and with each child two weeks later the pain subsided. I always encourage women to give it a good try for two weeks. Every woman is different, but there really ARE women who give up on breastfeeding for their own satisfaction and not due to the baby not being able to nurse. Some give up after the milk comes in because they think they cant produce enough...but honestly, if you have never breastfed, your body doesn't know how much milk to make. So the longer you try with baby at breast the more your body will learn to produce. Your body will produce as much milk as baby is demanding. You just have to train your body. That comes in the few days after baby is born, but i see many women giving up. Not every women does, but realistically, how did women way back 100s of years ago their babies when formula was not invented? So it IS possible for majority of women to breastfeed. It just takes time and patience. Good luck to all of us!

This was not the case for me. My body would not produce the amount of milk that dd needed- even with me living through the pain. I didn't respond to the pump at all- a few drops is all I would get. I spent a fortune on the best lactation consultants and still nothing. Dd was screaming constantly and losing weight rapidly. I either had to supplement or she would have been admitted to the hospital. I continued to try to feed her every 2 hours and then pump afterward- leaving me with about 1/2 hour to sleep between feedings. I was miserable and not enjoying my child. Finally at 7 weeks dd refused to feed from the breast anymore. I felt so guilty, but I finally started enjoying my child. She has been off the charts for both height and weight since right after birth- actually right now she is finally on the chart for weight and still over 100th percentile for height. She is 2.5 and right now she is suffering her first very very minor cough- up til now she hadn't been sick a day in her life. Breast is not always best. Dd's pediatrician told me that in a perfect world everyone would breastfeed without issues. But in reality what is important is a fed baby, a happy baby, and a happy mom. If these things are not happening, then breast is not the best choice in that situation.

I asked my mom what people did in the past and she said other family members would nurse th child when the mom couldn't produce. Her mom nursed other children for this reason and it was not uncommon at all. So yes, maybe formula wasn't around, but that doesn't mean that women didnt have the same issues back then.

To the OP. this time I might try to take supplements to help with things and I've heard for some the second time is easier. But I now know that all I can do is give it my best and if it doesn't work I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I've got a super healthy daughter to remind me that formula is not so bad! Plus neither myself nor my siblings were bf and we are all healthy. Give it your best shot but remember that your happiness is just as important to the baby as it is to you!

Not discounting anything you said about your experience...just adding something that you sort of reminded me of with my current LO....
My current LO' s pediatrician told me a couple of times to supplement her with formula as she must not be getting enough milk. She wasnt gaining weight.... I really didnt want to give up...so i upped my calorie i take and added a little more fat to it....she moved right up in weight. Shes always been petite but her weight gain was at a better pace with the hugher fat intake on my part. Sounds starnge and I dont know if it even makes sense, but every woman is different. Luckily, I was able to keep ebf ing at that time..... But i do commend every woman who tries because its definitley not easy. So ....

 

[Laylagirl]

Thanks for all replies it's really interesting to hear the views. Having eventually ended up formula feeding with LO as stated, I now feel formula is an incredible thing and we are all extremely fortunate to have that wonderful option in life. It turned those newborn days 360 for me....it was a simply amazing feeling to switch to formula....sitting there enjoying feeding my baby rather than crying and no doubt passing on my anxieties to baby. ' Just a shame it came with guilt and tears first, due to all the pressure I had put on myself to breastfeed.

As a first time mum back then, I was naive about formula. Because of all the "in your face" things about breastfeeding, I, by default, became under the impression formula was considered a lazy option or not "the best for your baby" etc. When people asked if I had made my mind up whether the breastfeed or formula feed, I always snapped "breastfeed!" thinking "why would you even ask? of course I will breastfeed". I was so anti-formula without even knowing much about it. Nobody sits you down and points out the pros of formula, but by hell they will tell u 101 pros about breastfeeding!!!!

I am far more relaxed now and look back and think you silly girl for getting all worked up over something as simple as bottles.

I have also seen things on facebook that are pro-BF (fair enough), but one of which was a very stupid and annoying "phrase" coined on Medela's facebook page in the large picture area at the top. It said something like

"I have everything my baby needs. I breastfeed." or something along those lines.
I found it annoying anyway.

I know they are OBVIOUSLY going to post pro breastfeeding things because of the nature of their products, but god. breastfeeding does not a wonder-mum make alone.

You have to do whats best for you. What fits your life and needs. In my post previous, I only meant that its possible to breastfeed... It takes hard work and patience. But i have nothing against formula either. Sometimes I wish to formula feed, but for my own selfish reasons. I want my boobs to be sexy to my husband and not pacifiers or food for a baby.... I know that sounds REALLY selfish.... But in the end, i actually like the weight loss assistance with the breastfeeding... So if youre more comfortable with bottle over breast, thats a personal choice. And more power to you. Theres lots of info out there if you need assistance with it, and lots of positive people that are still in the bottle feeding corner.

I recently attended a prenatal class where the lady lecturing it said that breastfeeding was the "lazy moms way"... I was actually quite offended, because breast and bottle feeding both require some sort of work. Bottles need to me made and fed, breast needs to be learned and practiced and painful..ouch! So there are pros and cons to both. Its a matter of what works for you!

 

[Gnomer]

A mothers well being should come first. If breastfeeding is causing the mum to be excessively stressed and anxious, then there needs to be some intervention. Be that outside help, expressing or formula. A happy mummy will be more beneficial to a newborn than a miserable mummy that breastfeeds.
This is even more important if you have older children. I couldn't ever imagine my son witnessing me now in the state I was when I was feeding him in the first few weeks. He's 2 and a half, and my mood effects his mood considerably. Would I want him to be around me if I wasn't sleeping, was in agony, and a general mess? No. I wouldn't. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to try. As I said before, pumping was much easier for me. I'll persevere until it begins to emotionally and physically effect me and my son, and then if it does, I'll try a different approach.
I will not be ashamed if I find formula feeding is best for us as a family.