Can't believe it's happened again :(

Discussion in 'TTC After A Loss' started by gingercat, Jun 1, 2011.

  1. gingercat

    gingercat Well-Known Member

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    Hi girls. Unfortunately, I find myself on this forum again. I miscarried my first baby on February 13th of this year at 8 weeks and three days. Today, at 5 weeks and three days I find out I've lost my second. Seriously WTF!!!!!!!! Can't believe it has happened again. There are a few things that make this experience a LITTLE less painful than the last. I'm going to list them in an effort to stop myself losing my mind.
    1. This time the bleeding happened at home and my husband was there so I didn't have to go through it alone.
    2. Initially, they thought it was an ectopic but it's not.
    3. They couldn't find anything in the scan so did a blood test which came back ridiculously low which would suggest that baby number two slipped away a few days ago.
    4. I am miscarrying naturally today so no need for the trauma of a D an C.
    5. Doctor says no need to wait to try again as womb is clear.
    5. Third time lucky?????

    I really, really want a baby. If one more f****** person says "At least you can get pregnant..." I mean how ridiculous?!! As is my goal is just to get pregnant...I want a baby not just a pregnancy. Why do some people not understand this????? We are soooooo ready to be parents and cannot believe I am back in this YUCK situation so soon again. I don't deserve this and neither does my husband. Please, someone give me some wisdom. I am feeling so desperate :cry::cry:
     
  2. Mrs. J

    Mrs. J Twin angels, PAL

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    So sorry to hear about your losses:hugs: People just don't realize how hard it is on a woman that has had a loss to hear those kinds of comments. I wish there was something that I could say to help the pain go away or to give you wisdom. Just know that we are all here for you! :hugs: Vent all you need.
     
  3. honey08

    honey08 mum2two boys/2mc

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  4. hellypops

    hellypops Well-Known Member

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    I am so sorry for your losses,going through it twice and so close together is just so cruel.i know there is nothing i can say to make it hurt any less so i'll be sending you lots of love :hugs::hugs::hugs:
     
  5. Nat0619

    Nat0619 Mummy :-)

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    Oh hun, I am so sorry and truly do hope it is 3rd time lucky for you :hugs:

    On the subject of people saying comments like that, I never have said that to anyone but I admit to thinking it when I couldn't conceive all of last year. I remember thinking that at least women who had had a loss could get pregnant. But now I have been pregnant and lost, I am seeing the other side of the coin and it is so hard and I am so desperate to be pregnant again and have a healthy baby x
     
  6. sarahbear731

    sarahbear731 TTC #3!

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  7. want2bemommy

    want2bemommy Cautiously expecting :-)

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    I am truly sorry. I too have had 2 m/c and the 2nd time I was flabbergasted- I seriously thought little bean would stick. It's funny- of all the comments women hate to hear- I use one on myself. I am fortunate to get pregnant so I don't have that part to worry about- some women try for years without even a nibble. I too want a baby not a pregnancy, but what keeps me sane is knowing that at least I don't have to worry about the first hurdle lol I can narrow my focus to why I'm not keeping a pregnancy. BUT if a person said that to me I'd be pissed lol we are ready to start trying again after almost year and a half and am petrified. I'm scared to go through the loss and emotions again. If you like you can add me as a TTC buddy- I'd be more than happy to go through this unknown with someone else =)
     
  8. nikki1304

    nikki1304 Well-Known Member

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    Im sorry Hun.

    I mc'd Jan 2nd at 10weeks, got preg 2 months later and mc'd again at almost 11weeks.

    I also got ppl saying the same to me! I keep getting "You'll get there" at the mo! So insensitive.

    Sorry for your losses :hugs:
     
  9. lilrojo

    lilrojo Mom of 3 and loving it!

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    Hey honey, I am so sorry you are going through this terrible time again. I feel I am in the same boat, to an extent.. I have one child already, a daughter who is almost two.. had a mc at 12 weeks in Nov and again last week at 5 weeks. I made an appt with a FS, and he is going to be helping me, so we can figure out why they are not sticking.. I would suggest making an appt with a dr. who is willing to fight for life.. my old doctor wasnt she wanted me to have another one before she would help.. I feel so relieved and I have hope again.. I really hope you get your sticky forever baby very soon.. If you ever want to chat feel free..
     
  10. RGN

    RGN Well-Known Member

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    I agree with lilrojo - ask your doctor if he'll run some tests like a Recurring Pregnancy Loss blood panel. My doctor did that after my second loss and discovered I have serveral blood clotting disorders which makes it hard for enough blood to pass through the placenta to the baby. Next time I get pregnant I have to go on blood thinners. It's really helped me to get more information.
     
  11. gingercat

    gingercat Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for all your words of wisdom. My Doctor is putting me on baby aspirin if/when I get pregnant again and a very high dose of Folic Acid. Hopefully will do the trick. I do understand why people say I'm lucky to get pregnant but I just wish maybe that they would wait until some other time when I'm feeling less vulnerable and raw to say it. Can't wait for my little baba to come. It's funny...had a feeling the last two were boys so maybe my first baby will be a little girl. Thanks so much ladies. Winging baby dust and prayers to you all xxx
     
  12. LeeC

    LeeC Mum to Morgan & 13 angels

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    Hi Ginger

    So sorry you are going through this. I am keeping my fx'd for you.
    I know people that aspirin has definitly worked for and there are lots of other avenues to explore, ie: progesterone supplements before you need to go down the test routes.
    I have had 6 miscarriages, 1 ectopic pregnancy (lost right tube) and 2 chemical pregnancies.
    It is heartbreaking, but you will find the strength to carry on and I'm hoping this has just been very bad luck for you and that your 3rd little bean wil stick.

    Good luck and sending you a cyber hug xxx
     

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