Can't get through to him,I give up

[Dezireey]

Hello,

Just wanted to tell my story as I guess it helps visiting a forum with other single mums and venting as I hope others understand what I am going through.

My guy and I have been in a stormy, on and off again relationship for 3 years. We both are a bit overreactive and have split up a few times but always miss each other and get back together. I am 6 months pregnant and he left me three months ago freaking out because he doesnt want kids. He has always said he doesn't like kids so that was a red flag I guess. I had just started taking new birth control and it didnt work. I decided to keep the baby and said I wasn't prepared to get rid of this baby for someone who had not shown me respect in the past and that I could not guarantee that he would leave me again after another row in the future. He was okay with me for a while sort of answering calls and texts but he was upset about the break up in general.

I was super hormonal last week though and went totally ballistic on him saying he would pay for all the pain he has caused me and that he is a waste of space and how badly he had hurt me.He ignored me and he put on his facebook page that he had a stalker and she was mental?? How can he call the woman who he had loved and is having his child mental and a stalker when she is desperately trying to make him see sense and talk about his child?. I told him to take the post down as it was hurtful and disrespectful and he did. Now he won't speak to me at all and doesnt call. He has told a friend he is miserable but not much else.

I am just fed up with being treated so badly by someone I trusted. How can he just walk away from his own child, its disgusting. Right now I feel like getting real revenge on him, does anyone else feel like this or have gone through the stage of wanting to get revenge on him for leaving?

 

[AbbynChloe]

I have totally been there - it's been over 3 years and there are times i see myself keying his car or something ridiculous. there are times I still break down and wonder how I once loved this man with all my heart. there are times when I look at my daughter and see so much of him in her........

then I got bored - bored of feeling so tired and hurt and angry. I hated feeling miserable, and for now just try to take each day as it comes.

It has taken a LONG time for me to get here, and I know for a fact that this is not it, that all those emotions will bubble up from time to time, and we are SO allowed to be angry and cry and hurt - then get back to business because crying wont feed Chloe, getting angry and cursing out her daddy won't make me or her feel better in the long run.

Be proud that you are raising your LO to the best of your abilities - i'm sorry i've run off on a tangent and cant remember what I wanted to say.

my only point would be to take all that energy spent hating him into something else - i blog and now exercise

thinking of you

 

[parisa]

oh my god sweetie, so sorry that u have to go through this while preggers.
However, if he did stay, imagine how painful it would be for ur child if he was to go in and out of both ur lives all the time.
Would not just rather he left for good??? At least when he laves for good, u know its over and u need to get on with ur life, but this way the pain is a lot worse...isn't it?
And as for revenge, u r talking to the revenge queen here.....hehe
But u r pregnant and I do not reccomend it sweetie. He will just get even with u, and u should not go through more bullshit right now. I assume he is super immature.....

Take care and I understnad how hurt u may be, but in the end, if he made it clear he wants no kids, then there is relly nothing that can be done about it. However ur right, how can u love someone and then leave like that??? I say selfishness!

Love to u!
Parisa

 

[Dezireey]

I think I may truly give up on him when the baby is born and he still decides then to not have anything to do with him. I am trying every day to move on but its not so easy when you have their little baby inside you

I keep telling myself I will have my revenge if he chooses to not see his child but I am starting to think that it is not worth the effort anymore.

I shouldn't really want myself and my little boy to be involved with someone in the future anyway who has such opposing moral values. It takes some kind of dirt scumbag to just ignore his pregnant ex and only finish with her because she is pregnant?? Who does that?

From reading a lot of posts on this forum, I just don't get how some of these men can wake up every day and look at themselves in the mirror and not feel like shit about what they have done. Okay, so maybe some don't want to be with the mother anymore but why ignore a little baby? makes no sense to me and I guess it just never will.