cant stop crying!! THIS IS NOT GETTING EASIER!!!!!

[xxfluffyxx]

i cant stop crying!!! everything is such a mess!!! I feel like I cannot get thru another day of this!! its torture!! my heart is BROKEN in little tiny pieces!! how can sum1 you love and trusted treat you so harshly,act like you and ur unborn dont even exist and just party,stay out all night and drink!!! and not give a shit!! my life is in turmoil!!! and he doesnt care!! he looked me in the eye and told me"I don want you!!!!" im happier now" hes ruined my whole pregnancy and now left me in the lurch completely! only thinking of himself!!!
..............?? any helpful advice because its 4weeks now and im still alone!! its not easier at all!!! we are supposed to be a little family instead i am and have been strugglng SOOOO much!!! I have my councillor and my mam! but cant seem to even leave my bedroom!! ..im too upset to function and feel like I wont be good enough 4 my little one 2! ppl are telling me"its his loss" but is it?? im suffering and hes having a great time! it sucks,also im so scared about giving birth!!! and how dare he tell people that im his girlfriend just because its"none of their business" what a coward!! to be rejected is bad enough but while I am carrying sumthing so precious shouldnt I be cherished and minded even more???? isnt it worse???.........

 

[bloodbinds]

Oh hun All i can tell you is that it will get better

I went through the same thing (and most of the other girls on here did too) so we all know what you are going through, so you gotta believe me when i say it's going to get better! I was so completely in love with FOB and at 6 months pregnant he tells me he doesn't love me any more, doesn't want me etc and he completely shattered me. I had to move out and spent most of the rest of my pregnancy in tears about it.

But you know what? I got over it. I really, truly did. It took a while, i won't lie, and i felt like crap for a lot of the time, but when you see your breautiful baby's little face, your whole life will be centred around them, and you probably won't want to share them with FOB any way!! Lol.

So basically, i know it hurts now, and we all know how hard it is, but i promise it will get better xx

 

[Aidedhoney]

Agree with bloodblinds hun xx

It sounds pathetic but time is a great healer, i wish you all the best xxx

 

[purpledahlia]

agree with bloodblinds too hun, hope your ok! x

 

[Tracy76]

Oh hun I know exactly how you feel!! It hurts to be creating this miraculous life all alone, and hurts ten times as much to know that the FOB is off partying, hanging out with friends and having the time of his life with NO concern for me or his soon to be born baby! I wish I knew what they say to themselves that make it ok to be so cold and heartless. Maybe then I would understand and that would give me some comfort. I wish I could just hate him completely and never give him another thought again. I wish I could be like a computer and just erase him from my memory all together.... sigh, but none of that is possible is it?

Instead, this has been a very difficult pregnancy for me. I am 34 years old, divorced, I have 3 other kids and have had multiple health issues during this pregnancy. FOB was the only man I was with after my divorce, and I truly thought I had lucked out with him! Until I got pregnant that is.... then he decided that he didn't have the money or time or energy to step up to the plate and support his new family. Worse yet, he calls once a month or so to ask me to "lunch", and catch up. In his head, I HAVE to be friends with him, for the sake of our child. I HAVE to watch him slut around with girl after girl while I sit at home, alone, getting fatter and fatter with his son growing in my belly, and I should just suck it up and deal with it because that's the way it is.

It truly makes me sick. Every day I hate him more than I did the day before. My heart feels like someone put it through the blender. I cry every night. I feel too old to be doing this again, and alone this time. At least when I had my other children I was married. He wasn't a great husband by any stretch of the imagination, but at least he was there.

I worry about when my son is born, because there is a huge part of me that doesn't want FOB to have anything to do with this baby and I'm tortured every day about what is the right thing to do. Of course my son deserves to have his father in his life, but should FOB still get that chance when he uses every opportunity to throw his new "happiness" in my face and try to hurt me with it? Do I sacrifice my heart, and my other children's broken hearts to allow him in our lives to be in his son's life? There are no easy answers.... the only thing that comes easily these days is pain and fear and an overwhelming feeling of rejection.

I come on this site every day to read about other mama's going through the same thing, and I hope to find strength and comfort from their experiences. Some days it works, some days I think it just makes it worse. Right now I just hope that when my son is born in just a few more weeks that all the answers will be born with him... and my love for him will over power any hatred and pain that comes from FOB.

Hang in there hun, you are not alone....

 

[xxfluffyxx]

Oh hun I know exactly how you feel!! It hurts to be creating this miraculous life all alone, and hurts ten times as much to know that the FOB is off partying, hanging out with friends and having the time of his life with NO concern for me or his soon to be born baby! I wish I knew what they say to themselves that make it ok to be so cold and heartless. Maybe then I would understand and that would give me some comfort. I wish I could just hate him completely and never give him another thought again. I wish I could be like a computer and just erase him from my memory all together.... sigh, but none of that is possible is it?

Instead, this has been a very difficult pregnancy for me. I am 34 years old, divorced, I have 3 other kids and have had multiple health issues during this pregnancy. FOB was the only man I was with after my divorce, and I truly thought I had lucked out with him! Until I got pregnant that is.... then he decided that he didn't have the money or time or energy to step up to the plate and support his new family. Worse yet, he calls once a month or so to ask me to "lunch", and catch up. In his head, I HAVE to be friends with him, for the sake of our child. I HAVE to watch him slut around with girl after girl while I sit at home, alone, getting fatter and fatter with his son growing in my belly, and I should just suck it up and deal with it because that's the way it is.

It truly makes me sick. Every day I hate him more than I did the day before. My heart feels like someone put it through the blender. I cry every night. I feel too old to be doing this again, and alone this time. At least when I had my other children I was married. He wasn't a great husband by any stretch of the imagination, but at least he was there.

I worry about when my son is born, because there is a huge part of me that doesn't want FOB to have anything to do with this baby and I'm tortured every day about what is the right thing to do. Of course my son deserves to have his father in his life, but should FOB still get that chance when he uses every opportunity to throw his new "happiness" in my face and try to hurt me with it? Do I sacrifice my heart, and my other children's broken hearts to allow him in our lives to be in his son's life? There are no easy answers.... the only thing that comes easily these days is pain and fear and an overwhelming feeling of rejection.

I come on this site every day to read about other mama's going through the same thing, and I hope to find strength and comfort from their experiences. Some days it works, some days I think it just makes it worse. Right now I just hope that when my son is born in just a few more weeks that all the answers will be born with him... and my love for him will over power any hatred and pain that comes from FOB.

Hang in there hun, you are not alone....

wow!! your message is an inspiration although heartbreaking aswell!!! I am sorry you are having such a hard time and your beautiful children are luck to have such a strong mammy...it does suck that they are off partying etc with not a care in the world! and you are right ,surely(they are human) they must have to try and excuse/justify such sick behaviour to cool whatever particle of a consciounce they have!! I too wish he could be deleted or I could hate him!! you have to remember that each day you get thru! no matter how hard it is that YOU WILL GET THRU IT!! and will be stronger for it! you need to look after your health as best you can! I know you must be busy with other kids but try and find a little time evn in the bath to relax and shut that A$$ out of your mind! also I dont know where they get the idea that you "HAVE" to be friends with him or tolerate his crap just because he is your babys dad!! Iv been going to a councilllor who has really helped and this amazes her 2! YOU HAVE NO OBLIGATION TO HIM!!! why should you spend your precious time(last few weeks of pregnancy) with someone like that who clearly doesnt care to consider your feelings etc...its emotional abuse that he is rubbing it in your face how great his life now is..(also manipulation on his part).The baby isnt here yet(same as my case) so cut him off,tell him youl make sure he knows when the babycomes and ignore him after that! its eating you up inside! you cant get over him if he is there annoying you! this is what iv done neway! all hes entitled to is access(legal stuff) NOTHING else! have lunch with family or friends...I hope you have some kind of a support network! im lucky to have my mam here dont sacrafice ANYONES happiness for him!!! He sounds like a loser and should have more maturity for his age! my fob is 21...........perhaps they never grow up!! just like you I cry all the time wondering,hoping,overthinking,coming online!! and also wish that when I hold my lil baba things may fall into place and all of the heartbreak will be worth it!! .....remember that! and remember he is the loser in this at the end of the day!! let him off with stupid sluts! they are welcum to him...mayb he can make theyr lives a misery! you are not "too old" or anything like it! you are human and have a heart no matter what your age!! I see my own mam struggle and have seen the heartbreak in her just like what im going thru!! she has 7kids(one of which is disabled),shes now a single mam and going through a seperation for the last year and is managing just like us!! it can be done you know... Ill be thinking of you and wish you well!! add me if you want to chat!! xxxx

 

[gemabee]

awww hun... i promise it will get better... i know its hard nd utterly heartbreakin right now but just think of it as goin through the motions... jus keep pushin urself through it.
ur lo needs u to be strong nd keep goin... have u given urself a little task to keep urself busy???
plan things to do nd things to organise every day... the more opportunities u get to take ur mind off him the less ur mind will go to thoughts of him whenever its bored.
big hugs hun xxxxxxxx