kassiaethne
Mom of a beautiful boy
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2011
- Messages
- 1,804
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Don't get me wrong, I've had a wonderful day. And my husbands family have been so perfect and great taking me to a baby expo and spoiling the crap out of my baby without him being born yet.
But then my dad sends me an email saying how he misses talking to me (am in brazil on vacation but he usually calls every day when I'm at home or at least every couple days) and I told him about the baby stuff and sent pics and you could tell how sad he got because my mom has ruined his and my abilities to really do all this together like we could be if she wasn't how she is.
I tried calling and telling her I'd let everything go for the baby so she could be in his life and she said she wants nothing to do with me or the baby. She is mentally unstable and my father stays with her out of obligation and feeling responsible for her. But it also means no getting to go visit him and such unless i rent a hotel for a week or two and all that fun stuff.
So instead of being able to take 3-4 trips to see him a year for 2000 dollars, I have can only afford to do it once because of hotel costs and such. He doesn't make a ton of money and hes paying my sisters rent and whatever my mom wants already so I'd never ask or want his help to pay it. I can afford it. Just not 3-4x's a year like I could without hotel expenses
So now I'm sitting here doing all this great stuff and getting to enjoy and celebrate with ronaldos aunts and cousins and I just feel like, I don't know, ripped off that why can't I do this with mine? Why can People that aren't even blood related, have no obligations to me, be able to be there for me. And I can't even see my dad and I know he feels guilty about it. My sister is being a twat and ever since I got pregnant seems to be in a doesn't like the spotlight not being on her mode. So isn't talking to me. And my grandma is so busy she cant have me visit till late july when I probably won't be able to travel.
I just feel like an ungrateful brat because I have alot of things to be grateful for and wonderful people in my life. But the people I should have been able to count on in life are all MIA and I just don't know how we all got here.
So now I'm sitting here at 2 am crying because I just want my family. Just want them to be normal, can't they all just suck up their shit and be happy for me? Even ronaldos cousins wife who has been LTTC and had two failed IVI's surprised me and bought me baby things and was super kind and spent the whole day with me talking about baby things....but my own sister can't just be happy for me.
Meh I'm just getting to be a broken record. I know, just don't know how to get past this feeling. Usually I'm so good at not thinking about it, but sometimes shit just creeps up at you.
But then my dad sends me an email saying how he misses talking to me (am in brazil on vacation but he usually calls every day when I'm at home or at least every couple days) and I told him about the baby stuff and sent pics and you could tell how sad he got because my mom has ruined his and my abilities to really do all this together like we could be if she wasn't how she is.
I tried calling and telling her I'd let everything go for the baby so she could be in his life and she said she wants nothing to do with me or the baby. She is mentally unstable and my father stays with her out of obligation and feeling responsible for her. But it also means no getting to go visit him and such unless i rent a hotel for a week or two and all that fun stuff.
So instead of being able to take 3-4 trips to see him a year for 2000 dollars, I have can only afford to do it once because of hotel costs and such. He doesn't make a ton of money and hes paying my sisters rent and whatever my mom wants already so I'd never ask or want his help to pay it. I can afford it. Just not 3-4x's a year like I could without hotel expenses
So now I'm sitting here doing all this great stuff and getting to enjoy and celebrate with ronaldos aunts and cousins and I just feel like, I don't know, ripped off that why can't I do this with mine? Why can People that aren't even blood related, have no obligations to me, be able to be there for me. And I can't even see my dad and I know he feels guilty about it. My sister is being a twat and ever since I got pregnant seems to be in a doesn't like the spotlight not being on her mode. So isn't talking to me. And my grandma is so busy she cant have me visit till late july when I probably won't be able to travel.
I just feel like an ungrateful brat because I have alot of things to be grateful for and wonderful people in my life. But the people I should have been able to count on in life are all MIA and I just don't know how we all got here.
So now I'm sitting here at 2 am crying because I just want my family. Just want them to be normal, can't they all just suck up their shit and be happy for me? Even ronaldos cousins wife who has been LTTC and had two failed IVI's surprised me and bought me baby things and was super kind and spent the whole day with me talking about baby things....but my own sister can't just be happy for me.
Meh I'm just getting to be a broken record. I know, just don't know how to get past this feeling. Usually I'm so good at not thinking about it, but sometimes shit just creeps up at you.
I hope you get to see your dad soon.
I hope you get to see your dad soon, what if you paid for him to visit you and he could stay witb you, maybe that would be cheaper?
