can't stop watching "four weddings" and its causing terrible emotions

[lynne192]

me and my OH been together for few years now and been TTC 3years, we offically got engaged on christmas day last year, anyways his mum wanted to have an engagement party for us but because he is not fond of his family we never had one and most of his family still think i am still just his girlfriend and he and his mum when talking about me call me his girlfriend, i feel like waving my ring in thier face, i call him my partner not my fiance' but i think partner is alright??? anyways we were going to have a long engagement then i got pregnant and found out in jan, when we found out everything changed and he wanted to marry me right away and get everything sorted, sadly we lost our baby to ectopic pregnancy on 8th feb, of course we decided not to get married to soon after that but now i am thinking he wants a really long engagement, before we had decided on 10 years then it when to 5 then to 7... i was thinking maybe i should ask him if we can set a date for 6years away? does this sound resonable?

anyways i don't watch tv but i am not at min i am house sitting and on tv there is this show called Four weddings and i can't stop watching it but end up in tears most of the time thinking about these weddings and watching them.... the one i am watching at the moment is a the celb one i have no idea who any of the people on it are but one of them has a wee girl and just annonced on it she's pregnant again so that didn't help....

anyone else watch these and get little teary?

 

[subaru555]

I cry at a lot of the episodes just now but with being pregnant and excited for mine it's expected I guess!!

 

[lynne192]

least you got an excuse then ah

 

[mushmouth]

not sure where to post this - this thread or your other one! I figure you'll see it here anyway xx

I think, if you're upset about them not acknowledging your relationships status, and are planning a long gap until the wedding, then go ahead and throw yourselves an engagement party... that way - with her not throwing it, you have control over who and what is there... if you get my drift...

Personally I've watched a few episodes, but never cried...

 

[lynne192]

thanks for advice hun. will take all you have said and talk to my partner about it. our families are sooooo different tooo my family is alot pooer than my partners family which i often feel little bad about, i don't want money or anything from them, thats never been the problem. my family i think would find it hard travelling to them but his grandparents are almost 100 and not very well but would love to see them there, have thought maybe we could go see his grandparents and tell them, his whole family doesn;t even know i was pregnant in feb mine know about it but completely ignore it all they say about the ectopic was "those injections" in relation to my injections of methotrexate. i know i can't change that thats there problems. i don;t mind waiting to get married to my partner thats never been the problem here i guess i just want them to know whats going on and that we're not just dating? is that unreasonable of me?

 

[mushmouth]

no hun - totally reasonable!

neing engaged is a MASSIVE step from just dating, you two have mad a commitment to each other, and I'd want others the acknowledge it too!

 

[lynne192]

thanks sorry for such a rant, i don't want to moan at my partner he said we can have an engagement party because "i" want too.... i want him too want it too we seen a beautiful wedding dress when we were out shopping last week and since then we keep talking about that dress when we walk past. i think i am terrible keep thinking wedding wedding wedding, because our infertility i feel like wedding is only thing in my control lol

 

[mushmouth]

We all love to have something to look forward to and hope for. Explain in simple(manly ) terms what the engagement party means to you, and that its something so positive, for you and your families, and hopefully he'll understand! Don't push it too much - we all know men like to think theyre in control of big decisions

 

[lynne192]

yeah will talk more about it with my partner when he gets back, i just worried it might be stupid because we don;t actually live together.

 

[mushmouth]

all the more reason to have a "show" of your commitment - i.e. the party x

I hope it all works out for you hon.

 

[lynne192]

thanks hun we'll see