Can't take much more

[Scuba]

Well since bringing baby home from hospital I've been getting by on maybe 3 or 4 hours sleep a night and although its made me pretty grouchy and tired its been ok, I've got by on it. OH went back to work last Monday and since then I've been on own with our little one most of the time. She's a pretty easy baby (OH thinks) and she's beautiful and wonderful and I'd not change her for anything in the world but last night was just the worst, she wouldn't go down until about 2am, we started trying to get her settled at about 10pm but she just cried and cried and got herself into a real state, so much so that each time I tried her with a bottle she would have some but then sick it all back up and she was getting hungrier and hungrier but more worked up at the same time so it was a catch 22 situation.. cry - milk - sick - cry
Then her nappies were so bad, any little bit of milk that she kept down was being exploded out of her so I was having to change her after every attempted feed which was making her cry even more. It just drives me insane, I feel so bad for saying that because I do adore her - she is all I've ever wanted and more but I feel so run down and so low, all I seem to do is cry, I've lost all sense of who I actually am or who I was before being a Mum I should say. I had to sell my car a while back as it was too small and not a suitable family car and we thought we'd be able to get me something safer and more practical so I had a bit of independence still once baby arrived but have now realised that we can't afford to run 2 cars, so I'm stuck at home 5 days a week and can only go as far as I can walk with her in the pram, which isn't far really considering I live in the middle of no where. Health visitor came round yesterday but I didn't tell her how crap I'm feeling about things because I can't bring myself to tell anyone in person, she's my little baby and I feel like I'm letting her down by not being full of beans.
OH is being a bit annoying too - I really thought (perhaps unfairly of me, I don't know) that he'd be more supportive. Last night he came home from work and had developed an infected cyst on his back (nice) so went and got antibiotics from the Dr, then said it was so painful that he couldn't do anything for LO,so I was left to make the dinner, sort the house and do baby pretty much on my own. I've told him that I can't cope and that I can't do it anymore and his response was 'well what are you going to do then'

I just want to feel a bit 'normal' again. All I need is a little bit more support and help, a little bit of sleep and just to be able to look after me a bit as well as looking after baby and OH. I can't remember the last proper meal that I ate and don't think I've eaten anything for maybe around 24 hours, I can't even seem to get time to have a shower without being needed by someone else.

I just feel like such a let down as a mum to my little sweetheart, however it might sound I really do love her to bits.

 

[Sarah88]

Oh sweetie
It's not fair that you had to do everything by yourself, being a new mum is hard enough without having the support you need from your OH. I really hope that you can just have a few more hours sleep, you'll feel a bit better.

 

[oOKayOo]

Aww sweetie i have been having these days aswell , burst out crying the other day as my daughter seems to be getting terrible twos late ( 3 in september) and ella is going through a growth spurt , OH doesnt get home till late and i have to do everything too.
Just gets to much sometimes but it will get better , how about giving baby to your OH so you can catch up on sleep ??

 

[cupcake]

hun i just want to say what you feel is totally normal. i have a very needy baby who wants to be held all the time , even when he sleeps. i cant go to the bathroom or eat something without him crying but you know what, you gotta do it. you have to look after yourself to look after your baby. if your oh cant help its really hard, im also on my own when DH goes to work at 9 and comes back at 7 pm. i cant wait til he walks through the door so i can give him the baby. if you can get someone to come help even a few times a week i recommend it, use all your resources any friend who can come by and watch the baby while you eat lunch or take a shower. i take a shower in the morning before dh goes to work. if i havent slept- like last night, i hand him the baby at a reasonable hour like 6:30/7 for one hour so i can sleep a little. dont feel bad for feeling the way you do, your whole life has changed and i promise you lots of moms feel like us, that we just cant have anything for ourselves anymore. it will pass, your baby will develop a routine and it will get better. forget about housework and get meals that are really easy like sandwiches or ready made food. good luck and feel better.

 

[Scuba]

Thanks you guys, knowing that there's other people going through the same sort of thing is a comfort - I was starting to think I'm losing the plot xx

 

[cherylanne]

Hi sweetie, i've actually made it out of the other side of all that (my daughter is 3) i know how hard it is. When i said to people i thought i'd die of sleep deprivation, they thought i was joking (i kind of was). What i'm trying to say is that we have all felt like you are now, i know that doesn't make it any easier for you, but be reassured your not alone.

Draw as much support as you can from the ladies on here and feel free to let of steam.

My mum said to me that if baby is clean, fed and safe in a chair/cot there is no reason why you can't jump in the shower, it'll do her no harm (even if she does cry)

Good luck with it all, i'll be thinking of you

 

[sam's mum]

What you're feeling is totally normal, and it's so, so hard being on the go all day every day when you haven't been able to sleep or eat properly. The first 6 weeks are the hardest and it does settle down a bit - your OH needs to help you out more though...some guys seem to think that as soon as they get home from work that's their 'work day' over, and don't seem to consider the fact that ours is never over - not meaning to make being a mum sound like some sort of chore, but I think they often don't realise how exhausting it is.

Any chance you could ask him to look after her just during the day one weekend so you can have a sleep, a long bath, get out - anything that will give you a chance to have some time for you, even if it's only a few hours?

If she sleeps during the day try to get some sleep if you can - even half an hour can make a big difference (and I used to hate trying to have a shower or bath because as soon as I got in Sam would just scream and scream - felt so guilty!) x x x

 

[Samantha675]

You are not alone love. Remember that right now is the HARDEST, and it will get easier. I just kept telling myself that the first 6 weeks.

Nap when your baby naps, this really helped me when my LO was not sleeping well at night.

When I need a shower and my DH can't help, I take the changing pad in the bathroom, and lay Brennan on it, so that I can see him, and talk to him at least.

Get a carrier, and wear Grace so that you can keep her close and make some lunch. When you go grocery shopping, by as much pre-prepared things as you can. Right now it may cost a bit more at the store, but it is worth it so you can eat better. We buy pre chopped veg, marinated meats, boxed rice mix and it makes dinner time much easier. Also make extra so you can have it for lunch the next day, and all you have to do is heat it up. Maybe on the weekends when your OH is off, make lots of stuff and shove it in the freezer.

Not sure, maybe try a different formula since it sounds like she is having trouble digesting the one she is on.

Hang in there love, it will get better!

 

[xarlenex]

The whole milk puke poo thing, She maybe got a little upset tummy? Maybe try her with gripe water when shes puking so much, maybe she has some trapped wind?

And the lack of sleep and help thing, do you have family you could ask to take her for a few hours or even better overnight? you could relax, have a bath, get a good sleep? My aunt was a lifesaver when kyle went through his bad stage. He was already sleeping through the night but from the minute he opened his eyes he would cry, she took him an hour or 2 each day till it was over, it helped so much. Your oh needs to learn that work cant always stop when he leaves the office (so to speak..) that when he comes home he could offer to sterlise? or tidy up, or give her a feed?

Hope things get better soon xx

 

[Scuba]

You're all so helpful and supportive, I really appreciate being able to vent all this on here to people who actually understand!
Grace is having another night of non stop crying at the moment and I have to say in OH's favour that he has taken her out for a walk round the block in her buggy to try and settle her down a bit, its just all wearing us out.

After your suggestions of seeing if someone could look after her for an hour or so OH's parents have offered to have her on Friday evening so that OH and I can go out for a meal together just the two of us which is really sweet of them, they've said they'll happily have her overnight if we want them to as well so I'll see how I feel about that closer to the time - not sure I'm ready to leave my little princess overnight yet!

Thanks for all the help - I'm sure that I'll be back on here later when she still refuses to sleep! x

 

[sam's mum]

Hope you managed to get some sleep last night x