Cautiously expecting after a loss. Bricking it!! anyone else?

[hanni]

Driving myself crazy stressing over whether my tests are getting darker and what the future holds. Too scared to get excited.

Anyone else in a similar position?
How on earth do I stop worrying?!

 

[RaspberryK]

I remember we miscarried at the same time... it's worrying. I kind of tried to be positive to start with. Then I was in denial. Then I decided to have lots of scans.
Fingers crossed for you xx

 

[ladders]

Know how you feel, I had an early mc at just over six weeks and then fell pregnant again straight away, been a happy and scary time and at nearly 8 weeks iv only just put the tests away

 

[hanni]

I am praying so hard!
Congratulations on both of your pregnancies.
Lots of scans sounds like a plan! I'm going to book one for 7 weeks and buy a good doppler.
I seriously need to put the tests away, causes nothing but extra worry but I can't help it! So addictive watching those two little lines appear. I'm in disbelief.

 

[Mummy to be x]

I misscaried at 8 plus 3 in march and I'm back again and so far so good, I've had 4 private scans and one on the nhs, there's no way i would of got through the first 12 weeks otherwise, I was, and still am a wreck.

I've also bought then sonoline b doppler to ease my mind when I feel worried.

Congratulations on your pregnancy I pray this is your sticky

 

[RaspberryK]

I kept testing too, I think in the early days anything that you can do to reassure yourself then do it regardless of whether it's doing tests repeatedly (I did) getting scans or a doppler.
Xx

 

[Happy happy]

Ahhh congratulations! ! There are quite a few of us, as you can see, that are in a similar position so don't feel you're alone or what you're doing is strange as the chances are we've all done it or are still doing it!! I would say try to relax but it's just impossible!! Good luck xoxo

 

[bumblebeexo]

I had an early loss in December, so I'm very cautious too. Can't wait to hit the 12 week mark!

 

[Alpha]

Hiya, I had a loss 2 years ago. I've just found out I'm pregnant today and I'm also terrified. I think I'm going to have to go for a private scan tbh to try and put my mind at rest.
X

 

[curlykate]

I just found out I'm pregnant this morning, after a MMC in march. It was a tough ordeal (as everyone in our position can attest to). I'm still ridiculously happy and excited, and so the dread and nervousness hasn't really set in yet.
I've already decided that I'm going to ask for at least one early scan. Maybe more if I can convince my Dr to prescribe them for me.
I'm just trying not to think of everything that can go wrong so I don't drive myself crazy with worry.

 

[skyesmom]

i think whoever has experienced a loss is ripped of that first innocence of an uneventful pregnancy, and the equation pregnant=baby every single time.

...and i also think there's no real formula that works for everyone: testing, scans, dopplers, taking it day by day and deciding to enjoy whatever time is given to you to spend with your baby, and so on...

i'd personally avoid the doppler as they aren't as easy to use as one can think and i'd drive myself crazy if i couldn't find the heartbeat straight away.
for the very same reason, although it has been two years since my last loss, i don't have any tickers in my signature as i'd just be driving myself crazy and obsessing over how much time has passed since and so on.

also, losing a baby changes you profoundly as a person, it took me about two years to realize how much it did, actually... so whatever reaction you ladies are having, please remember that it really takes a lot of time to heal, even when you are pregnant again straight away. the new pregnancy/baby doesn't take the grief away, at least not the whole of it and you may as well find yourself having mixed feelings of joy and devastation together, or breaking up in tears for the loss out of nowhere months ahead, even when everything is running perfectly.
it is just a part of the process, and the less you stress and beat yourself up upon your own "weird" reactions that get you unexpectedly, the easier it will be on you.

hugs and congrats on all of your rainbow babies !!

 

[hanni]

Congratulations on your new pregnancies Alpha & Curlykate.

Skysmom - I totally understand what you mean. Me and OH have both said to each other we'll take things one day at a time because we both know all to well that a pregnancy doesn't always mean baby. I'm so excited to be pregnant but can't picture pregnancy ending in a baby at the end, I don't think it will until I'm a lot further along. For the moment it's just a lot of worry.

You've also hit the nail on the head about still grieving. I went shopping yesterday and found myself incredibly sad seeing women with big bumps whilst wondering how big mine would be now. When I reinstalled a pregnancy app on my phone it hadn't deleted the previous information and it was so bitter reading how far along and what babies development would have been this week.

Going to be a very long 10 weeks but bring it on!

 

[lucy1]

I've had, well, more than one miscarriage over the last year so I'm in the same boat that I know the drill.

A lot of money is going to be spent on hpts from now on in!

Luckily I literally only found out today well before my missed period and I have an appointment with the midwife tomorrow already

I just want to pass the magic 12 point so i can start getting excited! I'm not even 4 weeks yet

 

[SCgirl]

Congrats- I hope this one is your rainbow baby!

I think how you're feeling is totally normal. After 3 early losses and 0 successful pregnancies, I tested way too much until my first u/s at 6 weeks (had to spend in the $ triple digits. eesh.). Despite hearing a heartbeat then, I tested occasionally with cheap tests around 7 weeks, but they were getting lighter which freaked me out, so I stopped. It was hard to stop testing, but once I was able to, I felt so much better.

At 8 weeks, I had a great u/s. Just a few days later I started to panic, fearing that the baby wouldn't be alive in me anymore and I wouldn't know b/c I'm taking progesterone.

At 9 weeks, I got a doppler, and have been occasionally listening to the heartbeat since then. At 11 weeks, I'm still hearing it on doppler, which helps a bit.

It just doesn't seem real. I've felt super sick for almost 6 weeks- that part has most definitely seemed real. However, I'm having a hard time believing I'll be bringing home a baby in January!

If you find anything that helps, let me know

 

[dan-o]

This is my 4th pregnancy this year, 11th in total.. and I refuse to worry this time!! Lol!!!

 

[wifey2013]

I miscarried at 4 weeks last time. I'm currently 12 weeks today and I still worry all the time. Having a scan tomorrow so hopefully that will ease my mind as I enter the second tri.

 

[Radiance]

Honestly I don't think that fear ever does go away. What helped me was the small milestones!! Congratulations on all the rainbows

 

[ChubbyCheeks]

I'm in the exact same boat & sorry haven't got any useful advice.
Just wanted to let you know there's others around you can talk too
about your worries / anxities, i'd love to chat with anyone who's newly
pregnant after a loss.

 

[ginny83]

I'm the same too - if you look at my sig you can see my loss history

I think I've tried everything in ways of coping - using dopplers, not using dopplers, lots of scans, not many scans, etc etc. It's extremely hard and easily for me the best thing is finding a place to vent about my feelings, and so my poor DH doesn't have to cope it all I've found a few sections in here that are great for just getting all those worries of your chest x

 

[DrMum]

Hi girls, yes I'm with you. Our daughter was stillborn at 34 weeks in March, so this pregnancy will be long for me as I don't feel there will be any "safe" time for me and I won't believe it's all good until I hold a live baby in my arms.

But, my current coping strategy is every day that we have this pregnancy is a day that we wouldn't have had if we didn't try again, so I'm going to try and just be in the here and now of it and try to enjoy my pregnancy. ( by the way if everyone can remind me of this in third tri, I will be grateful haha!)

But it sure helps to chat with great ladies on here and keep each other sane!