CC did you have a cut off point?

[missk1989]

We are doing CC right now but lo has spent the last 15 mins crying uncontrollably and jumping up and down. Did you have a point where you said you would give up if they were still screaming at half an hour or so? Also he wont lie down. I have tried to lie him down in his cot before because he thinks i am taking him out and then gets even more upset. Will he lie down eventually?

 

[seoj]

I think YOU dictate the cut-off... when my LO was a baby about 6mos+ we did CC and she never cried more than maybe 5mins max and I only ever had to go back in usually 2-3 times... so it worked well for her (then)- NOW, with the new bedtime issues she's have at 2yrs, I just cannot let her cry for more than maybe 1-2mins... if that... cause she will just work herself up into a frenzy!!! And listening to her scream for me kills me! For now, we spend a big chunk of our evening in her room till she is Ok on her own. Even though it's not ideal- I've no clue what else to try. The couple times we did some controlled crying with her one of us would crack... it's HARD... probably one of THE hardest methods. But, was a great one when she was a baby- just not so much now. But, she also knows how to self settle and did for month prior- so this, I'm hoping, Is just a stage and will pass soon enough...

Sorry, no great help. Do what your comfy with hun. That is all any parent can do.

 

[InHisHands]

Awww... hang in there and don't give in. My son was the master at throwing a fit at nights ever since he was born. It just came natural for him.

When I did CIO he was 9 months old. He would refuse to lay down, so instead of struggling with him, I allowed him to stand up. He would throw his toys out and scream.

We started out with every 20 minutes going in there to pat him or sing to him (never got him out of the crib), but that seemed to only fuel his fire. We eventually made the rule that once we left the room, that was it. We weren't going to go back in.

The first three nights he screamed for about 2 hours straight before finally settling down and going to sleep. And yes he will get back down. Babies don't sleep standing up.

After that, over the next four days he slowly learned how to self soothe and his crying only lasted for about 5 minutes.

It's hard work to put your foot down, but you can't let him manipulate the situation. Hang in there... sleep training isn't any fun but the results are amazing.

 

[missk1989]

I think YOU dictate the cut-off... when my LO was a baby about 6mos+ we did CC and she never cried more than maybe 5mins max and I only ever had to go back in usually 2-3 times... so it worked well for her (then)- NOW, with the new bedtime issues she's have at 2yrs, I just cannot let her cry for more than maybe 1-2mins... if that... cause she will just work herself up into a frenzy!!! And listening to her scream for me kills me! I know some parent swear by CC or CIO for toddlers- it's just not something I can personally do... so... for now, we spend a big chunk of our evening in her room till she is Ok on her own. Even though it's not ideal- I've no clue what else to try. The couple times we did some controlled crying with her one of us would crack... it's HARD... probably one of THE hardest methods. But, was a great one when she was a baby- just not so much now. But, she also knows how to self settle and did for month prior- so this, I'm hoping, Is just a stage and will pass soon enough...

Sorry, no great help. Do what your comfy with hun. That is all any parent can do.

Thanks. He cried for about 45 mins with us going in every 5 then I started to go in and lie him down as he just stood there trying to sleep standing up. When Oh went in he lay him down and pat him on the back for a minute and he went to sleep. Unfortunatley no matter how long I sat in his room with him he would never go to sleep as he hates his cot. We tried a few nights on his mattress on the floor but although he fell asleep with me easily it only lasts a few hours and then we are up every hour, even when cosleeping.

 

[BigAl]

I wouldn't worry about him lying down, he will sort himself out. Just put him in a fleece onesie if you are worried about him being cold.

We did cc for the first time at 18m to get him to self settle. Never left him for more than 5 min without a quick cuddle. After 30m he went quiet, and that was it. I think personally i would have called it quits if he hadn't settled after an hour. But every lo is different, and they have different types of cry, that you will understand best.

 

[missk1989]

Awww... hang in there and don't give in. My son was the master at throwing a fit at nights ever since he was born. It just came natural for him.

When I did CIO he was 9 months old. He would refuse to lay down, so instead of struggling with him, I allowed him to stand up. He would throw his toys out and scream.

We started out with every 20 minutes going in there to pat him or sing to him (never got him out of the crib), but that seemed to only fuel his fire. We eventually made the rule that once we left the room, that was it. We weren't going to go back in.

The first three nights he screamed for about 2 hours straight before finally settling down and going to sleep. And yes he will get back down. Babies don't sleep standing up.

After that, over the next four days he slowly learned how to self soothe and his crying only lasted for about 5 minutes.

It's hard work to put your foot down, but you can't let him manipulate the situation. Hang in there... sleep training isn't any fun but the results are amazing.

Thank you. I am so exhausted im ready to push through his tantrums now.

 

[RachA]

If your lo has been crying for 15min do I take that to mean you haven't been in to the room at all?
If that's right that what you are doing would be classed as crying it out rather than controlled crying.
I've only done that once CC had worked and I knew that they would only cry for 5 to 10 min.
In theory, if you are going CC then you should be going in every 2, 5, 10, 20 etc to resettle lo.
I've done CC several times and I never had to leave them for more than 20 min. With DS I left him for 5 min, went in and resettled, left him for 10 min then went in and resettled. The plan was to leave him for 20 min and then go back in but he fell asleep after 10min.
To my mind stopping the CC once you have started it defeats the object therefore there isn't really a cut off.
The only time I ever stopped it was if they were in a state rather than crying out if annoyance/frustration etc.

 

[missk1989]

If your lo has been crying for 15min do I take that to mean you haven't been in to the room at all?
If that's right that what you are doing would be classed as crying it out rather than controlled crying.
I've only done that once CC had worked and I knew that they would only cry for 5 to 10 min.
In theory, if you are going CC then you should be going in every 2, 5, 10, 20 etc to resettle lo.
I've done CC several times and I never had to leave them for more than 20 min. With DS I left him for 5 min, went in and resettled, left him for 10 min then went in and resettled. The plan was to leave him for 20 min and then go back in but he fell asleep after 10min.
To my mind stopping the CC once you have started it defeats the object therefore there isn't really a cut off.
The only time I ever stopped it was if they were in a state rather than crying out if annoyance/frustration etc.

We have been going in every 5 mins.

 

[RachA]

If your lo has been crying for 15min do I take that to mean you haven't been in to the room at all?
If that's right that what you are doing would be classed as crying it out rather than controlled crying.
I've only done that once CC had worked and I knew that they would only cry for 5 to 10 min.
In theory, if you are going CC then you should be going in every 2, 5, 10, 20 etc to resettle lo.
I've done CC several times and I never had to leave them for more than 20 min. With DS I left him for 5 min, went in and resettled, left him for 10 min then went in and resettled. The plan was to leave him for 20 min and then go back in but he fell asleep after 10min.
To my mind stopping the CC once you have started it defeats the object therefore there isn't really a cut off.
The only time I ever stopped it was if they were in a state rather than crying out if annoyance/frustration etc.

We have been going in every 5 mins.

In that case there isn't really a cut off-the cut off is when they are asleep. I would recommend increasing the amount of time you leave lo for each time you go in-5min doesn't really give them time to settle down and fall asleep.

 

[Joybell]

Definitely as above. CC apparently works best if you increase the time between visits. So 2,5,7,10,15 and 20 min for example. Gives them time to settle and stops them staying up just because they know you'll be in in a minute.

Our longest session when we first started was 45mins on and off with visits as above. I don't regret it, he sleeps amazingly well now and LOVES his bed and sleeping bag. When he is tired and sees it he is all smiles and sleepy giggles- so cute. Wriggles his feet at you to get you to put him in.

Good luck, I know it seems like the end of the world when they are screaming but keep at it.
Joy x

 

[missk1989]

Thanks ladies. We were up for 2 1/2 hours with the crying last night inbetween 2 decent stretches of sleep. He lay down and went to sleep within 20 mins after waking up but when i went in to put a blanket over him he woke up and was up for another 2 hours. Ill try him in his sleeping bag tonight and increase the amount of time between going in.
Thanks again

 

[Joybell]

Glad he (and you) got some sleep. Sleeping bags are definitely the way to go.
The only way is up from here!

Let us know how tonight goes.

 

[missk1989]

Glad he (and you) got some sleep. Sleeping bags are definitely the way to go.
The only way is up from here!

Let us know how tonight goes.

Well tonight was a mixed bag. He fell asleep within 40 mins on his own in a sleeping bag and slept for 4 1/4 hours. Then it took me an hour to get him back to sleep and i resorted to patting him. He onlly slept for 2 1/2 hours and then only an hour the next two wakeups. For the second two wakeups I tried shush pat imediatley but he wont go to sleep unless I stay there with my hand on his back

I really dont know what to do. He managed to get out his sleeping bag aswell so may have been cold in the last few wakeups. The fact that he has been in his cot all night is a good start but im not sure we are heading in the right direction.

 

[Joybell]

Any update MissK?

Hope things are improving.

 

[missk1989]

Any update MissK?

Hope things are improving.

A miracle has occurred! He now goes in his cot with no fuss and puts himself straight to sleep. Wakes once sometimes twice in the night but I think when he wakes its because he is hungry as he will have a feed and then go back to sleep in his cot again with no fuss. On the occasions when I havent fed him straight away he just cries for ages until I do so I assume he still needs the feed. Considering how much progress he has made I think I will keep feeding him as long as it is no more often and then attempt to night wean in a couple of weeks/months.