Changing my daughters school just because it doesn't feel quite right ?

[fuschia]

my daughter goes a a great school, it's our closest and it's got a lovely feel to it and great results and she's happy there .

The concern I had before I applied for this school was its size . It's a 3 from entry (90 children in each year ) school and is a primary school so has from reception up to year 6.

I put all my concerns aside because I was told that it feels like a small school even though it's so big etc but I still feel this way 2.5 months into her starting . I have no problem- nothing to particularly raise with teacher ... Just little things here and there which I find are supporting my concerns that it's too big for her and she's going to seem like a small fish in a huge pond.

She's one of the children's that's quiet enough to not be in trouble but no so quiet that it's a problem and I feel she will just float about in the middle .

One example I can give is already , I can see the naughty cchildren are getting rewards (star of week etc ) when they are good , and the shy, emotional children are getting rewarded for being independent . But my daughter hasn't had any recognition for just being consistently good and independent .

She would love nothing more to be star of the week , or simply to have her name put on the 'shooting star' for being helpful or good behaviour , but tells me 'she just can't do it' .



It's making me cross. Can anyone give any advice ?

I'm going to give it more time ... I'm not going to be so quick to move her without giving it longer but if it's not right ... If rather explore options sooner rather than later .

 

[lau86]

If it was me I wouldn't consider moving her based on those reasons. It may be a big school but the classes will be the same size in another school?
It's hard when you're 4 and not getting star of the week but life isn't fair and she will get it eventually. Believe me the teacher will be noticing her good behaviour and be pleased that she's not one of the ones playing up!

 

[Gym knickers]

There are two schools close to us; a new huge 3 form entry one that's a fantastic school and a small, old village one that has also historically got a great reputation. As a primary school teacher myself I did choose the smaller school for many of the reasons you have said. I teach in a small a school and know all the children inside out, I know who is crying by hearing them down a corridor, by the back of their head, every parent/sibling/ friendship etc and that is what I wanted for my little girl. Unfortunately the school we chose is going through a bad patch with the head off sick and some staff issues, as a result some parents have moved to the bigger school. We have thought long and hard about it but are staying put for now. This is because I myself have no issues, DD is SO happy, well cared for, making great progress and clearly very loved by her teachers, it has the homely feel I wanted. That said, everyone I know who goes to the big school are also happy and their kids are doing great too. The school has many more resources and opportunities with more teachers to do after school clubs etc. I wouldn't have been sad if we only got a place there. The things you have mentioned don't seem to be directly related to the size of the school, and are more things to maybe discuss with her teacher. If she is happy that is the main thing, wait and see how she settles and if she stays happy then don't worry!

 

[SarahBear]

I'm not crazy about huge schools, but not for the reasons you gave. The things you mentioned are a result of being in a school, not the result of being in a big school.

 

[Fruitmash]

DDs school is nowhere near as big as yours but she gets overlooked it upsets her too. It's just life, when a child normally acts up and one day they don't, you encourage it to keep it up. If a child is normally good and remains good, they get overlooked. DD helps do all the tidying even when she doesn't have to and she doesn't get moved up the cake very often because they're used to her behaviour, when she's naughty she promptly gets moved down because it's out of the ordinary for her. It's not fair for all the kids but it's not because it's a big class, there's only about 15 kids in her class with 2 teachers and a third that mainly looks after a little boy

 

[Zephram]

I don't think the issues you brought up are related to the size of the school whatsoever. It's just a fact of life that some kids fly under the radar a lot more than others. If you have any concerns you should talk to her teacher first about encouraging her for her great behaviour more. I can't see how changing schools would in any way make a difference in this case, especially if it's overall a good school and she's settled and has friends, etc.

 

[Quartz]

I think the whole thing can be summed up with she is happy there. That is all that matters. Your first sentence really needs to be all the post is.

Regardless of how many classes per year your average child is in a class of 30 and given the number of weeks we have had so far less than a 1/3 would have been star of the week. Ultimately they will all be star of the week at some point - does it matter when.

The other truth is that we are all small fish in a big pond - that is life! As it happens I went for the big school over the smaller one (3 classes over 1) and dont regret it. Being in the middle is always a difficult place to be in society - but if you have concerns speak to the teacher.

And look at what moving would tell your daughter - everytime you are slightly unhappy about something or something is not going right you change, rather than sticking it out.

 

[Boo44]

Wow are there 3 classes for every year?

 

[k4th]

My daughter goes to a fairly small school. Last year she didn't get star of the week until December. She is all around well behaved & is exceeding her academic targets. I did get a little frustrated - but equally if there is only one star per week, someone has to be last to have it. As long as the teacher is praising the good behaviours verbally when they happen, I don't think it's a huge issue. Kids have to learn that it can't always be their turn & it's our job as parents to help support that emotionally.

I do understand your worries that she may not be noticed. My dd can also fly under the radar in this way sometimes. My reassurance came from parents evening & the specific examples the teacher could give about her work/behaviour etc. Have you had a parents evening? If not, could you ask to meet with the teacher just to chat about how she's getting on?

 

[CaptainMummy]

my daughter is the same as yours. She is never on trouble, and just gets her head down and gets on with it. She hasn't had star of the week yet this year, although she did get a 'confident individual' certificate last week for demonstrating to the class in gymnastics. Think about it... they have been back at school for how long? 12 weeks? So probably half the class haven't had one yet.

My daughter did tell me that the bad kids get them more, but she understands that it is to try to encourage them to be good! And that the teacher and I are very happy with how she is doing and that's all that matters.

Ps. I'm quite happy that she floats about in the middle. Her teachers have nothing but praise for her, so although she may not be the most outgoing child, or the one that everyone tries to speak to because she is so quiet; she has her group of friends that are lovely, she enjoys going to school and there are no concerns whatsoever.. What more could you want?

 

[Boo44]

My daughter goes to a fairly small school. Last year she didn't get star of the week until December. She is all around well behaved & is exceeding her academic targets. I did get a little frustrated - but equally if there is only one star per week, someone has to be last to have it. As long as the teacher is praising the good behaviours verbally when they happen, I don't think it's a huge issue. Kids have to learn that it can't always be their turn & it's our job as parents to help support that emotionally.

I do understand your worries that she may not be noticed. My dd can also fly under the radar in this way sometimes. My reassurance came from parents evening & the specific examples the teacher could give about her work/behaviour etc. Have you had a parents evening? If not, could you ask to meet with the teacher just to chat about how she's getting on?

I was just going to post about this but then it just read like I was a bitter old school mum so I deleted it! My son in reception and hasn't had Star of the week yet and they give two every week! He's really achieving very well and at parents evening the teacher told us how he was above expectations and he's always getting great comments. I know realistically they will just give it out one by one and make sure all kids get it, but i wish they didn't bother with star of the week!

 

[fuschia]

Thanks for all your replies !

I understand everything you are all saying and of course I don't expect her to be star of the week necessarily by now - but it is frustrating how she feels her behaviour isn't getting rewarded and she sees the naughty kids getting rewarded all the time ( not just star of the week- they have all sorts like a shooting star they can get their name on and a bee you thing they get if they do something impressive ) . Like many of you say- that's life ! Her time will come .

I decided to get stuck into school life - so I went an volunteered yesterday , and tbh I think she's part of a lovely group of girls all in same boat and it's not a major issue .

I have been looking on the school website to see if that can make me feel better and found an information page for year R I didn't know existed ( because you can't view it on an iPhone - technical over sight there ). But just seeing regular updates of what the kids are doing at school is reassuring to me !

But k4th ( hi againxx) I think you may have hit the nail on the head about the parents evening ! A lot of schools have had them now and ours isn't until start of February, but we do get a report at end of this term so I will look forward to hopefully receiving an encouraging report which reassures me that they are putting just as much time into assessing and meeting her needs as everyone else

 

[Fruitmash]

Have you considered talking to her teacher over this? I mentioned idly to DDs teacher that when DD got to the top of the cake she'd get a treat, the teacher remembered the next day ("let's see if you can get to the cherry and earn that surprise!") and she did indeed get moved up the cake that day

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Both my eldest 2 went to similar schools. 96 children per YEAR. It will settle and she will get noticed xx

 

[Lalaloopsie]

I work in eyfs and I do see your point about rewards (not in a change school kinda way) being for naughty/shy/eal kids and it does often look like the 'always' kids get overlooked. But it's not just star of the week/happy/sad sides that are used at this age. Kids are given constant verbal praise, stamps, stickers throughout the day but a lot of these stickers get lost and the kids forget what they get them for or forget they had stickers in the first place.....
This then leads to us as parents thinking my kid isn't being noticed. I'm on both sides, my youngest is in y3 now and moaning she hasn't been superstar then forgets to tell me how she was praised for knowing all her times tables lol