Cheating BIL - should my sister be single?

[Angelicous]

Hi all

I was hoping for some advice and some girly support.

My brother in law is a sex addict and I don't trust him around my children. My sister found out a while ago that he had been cheating with prostitues, taking drugs etc for 4 years. She even went through the beginning of IVF because his excess ahem- use of his sperm meant he had nothing left. He went to rehab and seemed to become bearable to be around but I am sure he has started cheating on her again.

He's being shifty, his porn and mas****tion addictions have returned but my sister has JUST had a baby. (In fact he started this again while she was pregnant).

I suppose my question to you guys is:

Would you rather be in a couple with this guy or be a single parent?

As aunty/sister what can I do to support them without exposing my children to his man? Would it be reasonable to insist he has no further contact with my children?

In order to avoid stressing her out, I haven't even seen the baby yet as I don't have to end up arguing with her....

I want to be an aunty... I just don't think my children are safe around their "uncle".

 

[Laura2919]

Well I dont think there is anything wrong with relieving yourself or watching porn but to an extent, if this is constant then he has an issue.
What I do have an issue with is the fact he sleeps with prostitutes and because of that I would say I would rather be single even with a newborn!

Sounds like she could do without him.

 

[jessrabbit]

I dont think its a question we can answer. At the end of the day its up to her whether she wants to be with him or not or if she sees him as a fit father.

I think the best thing you can do is support her in whatever her decision.

Love is blind and she will come to the 'right' conclusion in her own time.

If you push her about it, she may end up pushing you further away and staying with him longer than she would have. With your support she may decide she can do it on her own and is better off without him.

Problem is nobody knows what a relationship is really like behind closed doors apart from the people in it x