Chinese Accupuncture

[kits]

Ugh.. I'm at a bit of a slump, considering quitting TTC, having a couple of issues with oh. Nothing bad but just not enough bd'ing. He's got a really low libido.

*sigh*

Briss, sex is never for nothing! And I also tend to follow what Breaking said about cm.

 

[Briss]

Blythe, second part of TWW is always hard. Sometime I just start crying out of nothing but I think that might be because my body already knows it's not pregnant and sends depressing messages to my brain. I am making DH to BD often as his doc recommended but then get worried that we are wasting his stuff before I get to O when it actually matters most but then again I just think what's the point it's not going to make any difference anyway and on and on and on… I read that book on doing less and achieving more hoping it will teach me to let go but I did not like it, I just do not believe in what she says. Too much "divine" this and that. I wish I could believe that there is somebody out there looking after me but after what I have been through it's just silly to even consider that.

BBbliss, Great news on the line getting stronger! Best of luck with your beta! I agree I usually rely on my sex drive cos it disappears completely on or the day after O. the problem is that it starts very early last few days of AF

Breaking Dawn, excellent advice! I wonder what my DH would think if he catches me playing with my CM…

kits, My DH also has low libido and it really let me down when we started TTC. getting him to BD was almost impossible. I struggled so much cos I thought he was just being nasty to me and did it on purpose. Things changed when he started his treatment cos his testosterone went up. it's amazing the role hormones play in our life. He is like a different person in bed. This is an experimental treatment that have been around for the last few years so no one can say for sure how it's going to work long term but so far so good. I hope you will sort things out with your OH.

 

[kits]

Thanks Briss, really appreciate you sharing that with me as it is a crazy situation to be in. My OH is fantastic & poor guy hates that he's like that, but rhe just is.

I don't know how to go about this or what we're going to end up doing.

Lots of ladies!!

 

[melly2]

Kits: I can empathize with you! My DH has the worse libido ever (mostly after his testicular cancer). TTC was such a chore for us. It was no longer fun, and GOD forbid I ovulated on a weekday after work; there was no hope in hell I was getting any. It honestly left me so frustrated and in tears so many times. I didn't want to compare my husband to past boyfriends, but I couldn't help but to think my past boyfriends could do it at least twice a day and that still wouldn't have been enough. In our whole TTC time, that was without a doubt the worse part!

 

[kits]

I had no idea that others felt that way too. I thought I was the bad one for having such a high libido & I'd feel horrible for making him feel bad over it.

I never wanted to turn TTC into a chore but because of our situation it definitely feels like it has. That's why I'm so close to just giving up.

Apart from that it's an amazing relationship, just don't want either one of us to just anymore.

 

[Briss]

Kits, you are definitely not alone, a while ago there were quite a few of us here with similar problem https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/trying-conceive-over-35/1569389-lack-intimacy-dtd.html most are now pregnant

 

[melly2]

Kits: you are definitely not alone here. And like you, I felt bad that I was pushing him and making it a chore, but the fact is, if we wanted children then frequent sex would have to happen. Like you, I love my husband so much and can't imagine being with anyone, but I've just come to accept that we don't have an overly intimate relationship and he has a low libido. Good news in all this: I never suspect he's cheating on me. ;-)

 

[kits]

Thank you ladies, really appreciate your support. Was really ready to give up. He's been really trying the past couple of nights but I've been feeling a bit too hurt. Feeling better this morning so I think we're going to stay on our TTC journey.

Thanks for reaching out. Have a great Friday!

 

[Briss]

I am slightly confused with CBFM, I only got PEAK this morning but felt like I was ovulating yesterday and made hubby BD a lot so now when it seems to matter most he is giving up and says he cant do this any more, basically ended up arguing over sex. If I was not so horny I'd be seriously hurt! he is also going to go for a drink tonight just to annoy me. He's been so good last few months, very little beer and I was so happy but I think he's had enough now. I think I am going to leave him alone this cycle cos in the scheme of things none of it matters anyway, we've been doing it naturally for so long without any luck…

 

[smurfy]

I am slightly confused with CBFM, I only got PEAK this morning but felt like I was ovulating yesterday and made hubby BD a lot so now when it seems to matter most he is giving up and says he cant do this any more, basically ended up arguing over sex. If I was not so horny I'd be seriously hurt! he is also going to go for a drink tonight just to annoy me. He's been so good last few months, very little beer and I was so happy but I think he's had enough now. I think I am going to leave him alone this cycle cos in the scheme of things none of it matters anyway, we've been doing it naturally for so long without any luck…

yes it is so hard, my ovualtion was like any time over a week and often DTD alot before actual ovulation and then we ran out of steam and also was arguing, the last few months i just took the pressure off as we have not conceived over 3 years naturally and even being on the clomid for 5 months, so i thought it is not going to happen. I have started the down reg drugs this week so IVF here we come. Interesting when they did my husband sperm sample at the private clinic they said was still low on count, which we think has been our main issue all along (range 8, 12 and this time 25m) he has been taking vit c, e and multi vitamin which has helped, i have tried to limit his alcohol but not too much, he did say that when they monitor the sperm within 24 hrs the quality is very low, so unless we catch the sperm and egg all within 24 hrs it is virtually impossible, so IVF should be good for us, we will do 50% ICSI and then standard IVF. enjoy the long weekend

 

[Briss]

smurfy, good luck with your IVF. keep us posted. I think 25 million is good sperm count. do you know what was his motility and morphology? What clinic are you with?

 

[kits]

Briss, why do you think you ovulated yesterday? Do you get the pains?

I get what I think is ovulation pains but not always on ovulation. Today I woke up with them but I don't think I'm ovulating just yet, it'd be way too early!

Sorry about you falling out with your hubby They don't understand the freight train our hormones are on. I don't think they realize how much our animal instincts come out. I know you don't want to hear this but maybe a good drunken night out is what he needs just to unwind.

If you peek today, DTD yesterday & perhaps tomorrow those that's still good timing.

Are you using preseed?

 

[alison29]

Kits my dh is the same way. He was talking about wanting to go on T supplements. The gels or patches make you sterile while you are on them! He has mood swings, low libido, low energy and not as much blood flow as he used to down there. What i have done to get around this problem is got him some clomid. Hopefully this will raise his t and help him feel better all around? IDK i am giving it to him with his fathers day stuff. I will let you know how that goes.

 

[Briss]

kits, I am not always right but quite often I can tell judged by my sex drive and ovary pains if I am ovulating and from which ovary and it felt like it was either yesterday or today. On the other hand CBFM has never been wrong yet so it might be tomorrow. I will see what my temp looks like next few days it may give me a better idea what's going on.

I used preseed before but it did not do anything really and it just makes it much wetter so DH cant feel anything. It also kills some sperm (not much but when you have low count every spermy counts!). I think we BD enough this cycle, ideally I'd get one more over the weekend but as I said it's not going to make any difference anyway. I am hoping for a miracle here and surely miracles can happen even if you BD on a wrong day

alison, is the clomid treatment supervised by a doctor? our urologist said clomid is not for my DH cos it's too hush and testosterone will most likely jump too high too quick. but I know clomid worked for so many couples

 

[kits]

Not working on my lunch, yay!

Thanks Allison! Let me know how you get on. I'm going to look into various concoctions to give him.

Had a good chat with my sweet oh. In all honesty we have a chat every month but this one was a bit more serious. I've changed my entire life for him & the pub. And I support him with every single one of his crazes so I made extremely clear that I've been neglected & that I need his support on this. After reading the thread that Briss showed me our situation isn't that bad but my hormones make it seem that way. I get so upset over him eating a tin of spaghetti or pork pie (like Briss does when he drinks) because I put so much effort into being healthy. But I just have to let it go. The atmosphere gets way too tense when I push his buttons too much. In all fairness the man can work too much sometimes.

We had some sweet loving this morning before I came to work even though I had to throw a bit of a tantrum over it. But I feel better as now I feel he'll have fresher swimmers for when I do ovulate which is bigger concern after over 3 weeks of not DTD.

Briss hun, you need a girly night. Or maybe a hot jacuzzi. Something to relax you & hubby out. Does the hubby not get frisky worth beer?

I always feel bad offering that kind of advice as I don't know what you do or don't like.


Take care ladies!! I know hugs aren't the answer, but I can't help but want to hug y'all all the time to make our troubles go away! And I'm not even that much of the huggy type!




I cannot wait for my next accu, Tuesday!

 

[BBbliss]

Kits: I can empathize with you! My DH has the worse libido ever (mostly after his testicular cancer). TTC was such a chore for us. It was no longer fun, and GOD forbid I ovulated on a weekday after work; there was no hope in hell I was getting any. It honestly left me so frustrated and in tears so many times. I didn't want to compare my husband to past boyfriends, but I couldn't help but to think my past boyfriends could do it at least twice a day and that still wouldn't have been enough. In our whole TTC time, that was without a doubt the worse part!

Omg Melli, my experience is exactly the same (minus the cancer) I always had a super high libido all my life and past boyfriends were always as ready as I was and often has sex more then once a day, they also were all cheaters! DF is the first man I have spent the night with and not had sex, but right at the beginning of our relationship I noticed it was too much for him and I knew I could lose him over it and decided to slow down, it wasn't worth losing this amazing relationship over, I'm also not the same I used to be so now we are fine, I just tell him when I want it and he can get mentally and sometimes he has to take a pill now and then, but I would never ever trade what I have now just for more sex, like you I know he will never ever cheat

So kits, I'm glad you had all the examples and discovered its so common to have libido problems once you get older, a great relationship is hard to come by.

Afm, I had an extremely low first beta, but I'm still positive. I've been reading positive outcome stories on other forums and I feel not all is lost. I could also have been dehydrated at the time and it can affect your blood beta level, also maybe I had both embryos implant and that's why my line initially got darker and then stabilized from maybe losing one of them. Just theories I know, but I'm trying to stay positive. I had a little brown spotting a couple of day ago and AF never came so as long as I don't see red I'm still good

 

[kits]

Always stay positive!! Praying for you!! And Yea, isn't worth losing an amazing relationship!

Yea, I really appreciate everyone reaching out, honestly. Don't think y'all know how much it genuinely helped!

 

[smurfy]

smurfy, good luck with your IVF. keep us posted. I think 25 million is good sperm count. do you know what was his motility and morphology? What clinic are you with?

for the last one at 25m which was in April was after 3 days abstaining, and it was motaility of 72%, but all stats dramtically reduced after 24 hours.

I am at Woking Nuffield, recommended from people and so far i really like their approach, it is on the way to work and only 20 mins from home, which i think are really important when choosing where you go

 

[Briss]

BBbliss, what was your beta? maybe just a late implanter? I met ladies with first beta below 30 and healthy full term pregnancies. I am hoping it's just some kind of mess up at the lab and your next beta will be fine

kits, "beer" is basically a taboo in my books  I have had so much drama over it, we lost a lot of time (at least 2 years) TTC with poor sperm count mainly due to DH drinking beer with his mates every other night. once he stopped his count increased 10 times! (it was still low but not prohibitively low), my failed IVf is also most likely due to poor sperm cos DH was drunk throughout my stimming. It got to the point where I decided to get a divorce and carry on on my own with IUI and donor sperm cos in the last 4 years TTC my fertility decreased a lot. 3 years ago I would have been able to go through stim IVF with no problems and now it's almost impressible. precious times wasted all because DH could not get his act together. I am trying not think about it and just move forward cos he is trying now.

I have very strong pain in my left ovary, much stronger than ovulation pain. I am most likely popping a cyst there. How unfortunate…

 

[kits]

Learn more & more about you everyday Briss, you've been on such a tough road

Hoping last night is over & done with as peacefully as possible.

Would it be unfortunate for you to be popping a cyst? I don't really know too much about cysts but I thought it'd be a good thing to get rid of them. Good luck. I regularly have right ovary pain but it looks like it has nothing to do with my ovaries, but possibly my bowels.

I didn't realize beer affected the numbers so drastically. We run a little pub in a little town where our customers are pretty much exactly the same everyday. And they drink so much beer. I was so shocked when we first got it. I'd be like, 'Billy I don't think he should be drinking so much it can't be good for his health' constantly about every single one. Yet they all reproduce so easily. I hate pulling out the 'IT'S NOT FAIR' card but seriously I don't get. It's not fair!

A lady would come in begging us to sell her a bottle of wine 'for her fella' when she was very clearly about 7 or 8 months pregnant.

And don't get me started on last night!

Came back from the cinema and this friend of ours (who drinks a lot but has 3 healthy boys & another little one on the way) & his pregnant misses were at the pub. He was drinking & guess what... So was she!!! She had just turned 41, went off birth control on January & got pregnant within 3 months!!! She'll stand in the front & smoke (I've not seen her do this yet but everyone else had) and there she was on a pint of guiness.

She has no idea how lucky she is & she's just being ridiculously selfish. I told my OH that my friends on here struggle so much & she just slaps that onto our faces.

I won't even begin discussing the mothers* where I work.

My point is, it's totally unfair how alcohol can affect others in such different ways & we draw the short straws.

Sorry ladies! We'll get there, one way or another, we'll get there!