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I feel awful still V! I felt ok this morning, for about 20 mins :haha: How about you?

Jess blowing kisses is so cute!! :cloud9:

X x x
 
Good morning girls. Things don't seem to be getting much better for me and OH...wondering if we can even make it though the holidays at this point. I'm starting to realize just how much I was holding back and now that I refuse to hold back anymore, I get pissed at him all the time. He is just so uninvolved and is being a space cadet about Jackson. I know it's not that important but last night he said he'd wash out the bottles so I didn't and he still hadn't done them this morning when I needed them and I got angry. Then I told him to give Jax a pancake for breakfast while I finished getting ready for work and he made it for him, but didn't bother to put a bib on him or roll his sleeves up so Jax got syrup and milk on his shirt and syrup all over his sleeves. I had to run upstairs and change his outfit even though I was already running late. then while I'm driving to work OH wants to call and say he doesn't think the relationship is going to work out. Ugh, I was still trying to calm myself down from this morning so I told him I'm not talking about this right now and we hung up. I can't have a decent covnersation in such a crappy state of mind.

Sorry for the rant...but years of holding back is starting boiling over. I can see that I won't be able to depend on him for much, not that I could that much before either.
 
Ugh I'd be so annoyed about that too. Wtf is with calling you while you're driving to say its not working either? what an idiot.

I get pissed off with little things like that too, not having done stuff he said he would and then you need it. And the bib thing is just stupid.. FFS!

:hugs: maybe calm down and reassess. If you decide to not get through the holidays, what will happen? Will he move out?

X x x
 
i know helping out is a major thing but men are so bad at saying they will do something and then don't... is that the only issue or are there other things too? If really he wants things to work, he will have to step up to the mark but that is a different story.
Try and talk when the daily things annoying you are not so fresh in your mind so you can really talk about the relationship.
 
It's easier for him to leave...he can go to his Mom's house. I would gladly leave but I would prefer Jackson stay with me and he sleeps like crap in a pack n play so I'd have to buy a new crib or tote his old one. I've looked at a few places online and I would imagine I could get in one fairly quickly as I have very good credit. the other day after our heart ot heart he said maybe it would be good for me to go out and date so that he could get jealous and it might make him step up. What a moronic thing to say. If you can't step up after I've been practically begging for you to do so after a handful of years, why would you do it because I'm dating someone else? I wouldn't plan on dating for a long time anyway...I want time to myself to heal and find myself again. And trust that the next man will not have the qualities that OH had that I do not want or are not compatible with me. Why would I go back to that?
 
V, there's definitely more than just that...that is a minor annoyance compared to some of the other sh!t he's pulled. The past two weekends he was AWOL. Yep, disappeared. The first weekend he went out drinking with his friend and when he hadn't shown up or called by 10am, I took off to my mom's house with Jackson and diverted all his calls to my voicemail. Last weekend, he went to one of his girl friend's Christmas party and didn't come back until 6a...I met him at the door and told him to leave...finally after an hour and practically yelling at him, he left. I don't even get mad anymore...I don't cry...I have no emotion whatsoever. That's what I learned with the counselor. I am emotionally empty on the inside when it coems to OH and this relationship. Jackson on the other hand is my ray on sunshine in all the darkness. He brings so much joy and happiness to me and I cry for that...I cry for him, like I am now because I don't want my pain to touch him. Little bugger runs to give me a open mouthed kiss every morning when I drop him off for school...it warms my heart!
 
:hi: girls well tuesday went for a big walk with the dogs when i got back went straight the loo when i wiped i had some blood yesterday and today nothing tuesday i was 10dpo could it of been implantation x x can't believe your bbys are all nearly walking woopp sbb big congrats hun woopp x x
 
Thanks Caz, hope it was IB!

Marg that's ridiculous he just disappeared. Do you think he's cheating? I don't blame you for being over it And emotionless. What a ridiculous thing to say about dating... Honestly what is going through his head?!

X x x
 
oh dear... i just could not cope with someone going AWOL... that is the one thing that would make it the end for me. I am not controlling but in a couple, I like to be able to know where my partner is (not like literally all the time but definitely if not there in the evening/night) and I expect my partner to want to know where I am too!
my sister's first marriage broke because her husband starting disappearing... it's just such a coward thing to do especially if they don't admit to doing anything... so then why do they have to do it in the first place.
i can relate to the empty emotionally, i was in a 5 year relationship when i lived in France and i told my partner for 2 years that i was not happy, i was crying, yelling... everything, then on our anniversary, i woke up and i realised i did not want to celebrate... that was it... i did not shed a tear afterwards, not even when he finally moved out... i had cried all i could... if you have reached that point maybe time off is the best answer, if you miss him or he misses you then later on you might be able to re-construct something, or you will just be happier but apart... :hugs:
 
Thanks V...I'm glad someone can relate. That's exactly how I felt...I cried everything out for the relationship years ago and I have nothing left. I sat back and let him run the relationship into the ground and kept my mouth shut about it until now. I remember thinking that too a couple of years ago...I was just going to stop caring and he wouldn't be able to hurt me and I remember distinctly thinking that he would run it into the ground. Oh, if I would have known then what I know now I would have never had Jackson but hindsight is 20/20 isnt it? I don't regret having him, but I know that it's hard on kids no matter what age.

About the disappearing, it's highly suspicious obviously, but I don't know or care if he is cheating. Hell, it wouldn't surprise me though. I'm just over it. Supposedly, his father had some mental health issues and he may have them also but he's being stubborn about going to the doctor to be diagnosed and/or medicated. I don't know if that would help the relationship though...there's too much to change. I wish he could just imagine if I stepped out on him like that...as often as he does and just disappear and leave him with Jackson...not call to say where I am or how is Jackson...not even worry about him. That I don't understand...that bothers me...for that I could just punch him right in the face. But mothers I think are wired so much differently than fathers.
 
I'm so sorry he's being such an idiot Marg :-( The AWOL thing would be it for me too! My ex used to do that all the time- I would never put up with it now! On a bright side it sounds like you and Jackson will thrive without him! X
 
Absolutely Lou, he and I will be fine. I just had a gander at the child custody forms...ugh, what a pain. I strongly believe we can work out a parenting plan though without having a custody battle. I just hate the thought of filling out all this paprework LoL Good thing is I don't need him or his money...I have paid for probably 95% of all Jackson's needs since he was born anyway other than daycare which we split.
 
I had an ex top that used to make me cry and scream for about 2 years, the day we properly spilt I didn't shed a tear cos I was over it! I think it's a clear sign you're not in love any more :(
But it sounds like you'd be just fine without him! Does he have another child? What's that relationship like?

X x x
 
He does...he has a 10-year-old son from his previous marriage. He lives with his mother up North so he comes down for the summers, but that's about the only time they see each other. It's difficult because he's older and he's in school. There was talk of him moving down next year to spend the school year with his Dad. They spend time together but OH was preoccupied with work as usual. Plus at his son's age they're more into their friends than their parents so he was always playing at the neighbor's house.

Thank you girls for listening and for being my sounding board. I don't want to have a lot of bitterness about him or have a tit for tat attitude. I just want to go my own way and find my happiness again.
 
:hugs: I was in a relationship where I begged and pleaded with him to improve things before he lost me. And yeah, in the end it was easier to let go because I had done my grieving for the relationship while in it.

My husband is extremely forgetful about stuff like washing bottles. I have to beg him/nag him to do it and he's such a procrastinator that he always forgets. Pisses me off because I feel like its him saying he has better things to do with his time and leaves it for me.
How can they function in this world but then be so incompetent and stupid about certain stuff that we managed to learn or figure out. UGH
 
I agree Lisa. It probably wouldn't have bothered me if he wouldn't have said leave it so he could do it. If that were the case I would have done it before going to bed. Like I said, it's just monir annoyances that I used to biet my tongue and not say anything and now I feel like 've just been let loose in an MMA fight and I'm going to bite his head off...he'd better watch out LoL So many things used to be on my shoulders to make the relationship tranquil and tolerable and I refuse to do this anymore. I'm not biting my tongue to pacify him or the situation anymore.
 
TySonNMe said:
I agree Lisa. It probably wouldn't have bothered me if he wouldn't have said leave it so he could do it. If that were the case I would have done it before going to bed. Like I said, it's just monir annoyances that I used to biet my tongue and not say anything and now I feel like 've just been let loose in an MMA fight and I'm going to bite his head off...he'd better watch out LoL So many things used to be on my shoulders to make the relationship tranquil and tolerable and I refuse to do this anymore. I'm not biting my tongue to pacify him or the situation anymore.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I watched my mom become a very bitter woman because she shouldered everything herself. I told my DH from day 1 that I would not be a martyr... that I would bitch and moan and complain because I loved him too much to let resentment build and destroy our relationship. Because once that builds up, its really too late, I don't know if I could ever fix it, you know?
 
Yeah, my mother was the same...she let 20 some odd years of resentment build up and when they divorced she was a very bitter woman for several years. She's much more calm now though that she let it go. I don't thin kyou can fix it while still in the relationship...I don't think I can. I need to be away from him, away from the aggrevation, away from all the little things he does that irk me.
 
Hi all. Sorry to hear all that marg. that sucks

Suz- love the booty shake before he walks! So adorable

Lisa- sorry the house thing didn't work out. :( houses are ridiculous there! Hubs brought up that house I love again. I told him to stop! It's killing me!

I have laryngitis! It makes it difficult to tell the kids anything when another is talking or Connor is jibber jabbering! If he's crying, forget about it! No one can hear me at all
 
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