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[TySonNMe]

Lou, how's Ben's rash?

V, sorry about your ILs...they can really get your blood boiling? I would rip the fan out and leave it on his doorstep! Good you left him voicemail.

Suz, you had asked the other day if OH would see Jax if we split up and he definitely would. On Monday night, we were giving him a bath and having our playtime afterwards. I had just folded a load of laundry and had the empty laundry basket on the bed. Jackson got his naked butt in the basket and OH played rocket ship with him for probably a good 20-30 minutes. He would fly Jax all over the room like an amusement ride and then land him on the bed and topple over the basket. Jax would get out, straighten out the basket, and climb back in with his naked butt, sit down and grab the sides to hold on. It was the cutest thing I have ever seen! They have a very strong bond and it's not something I have the intention of trying to break. I think boys needs their daddies just as much as they need their mommies.

 

[Euronova]

I think it's great that your OH has such a good relationship with Jax. I think it definitely helps with any break up if at least the parents can agree on what is best for the child.

Full blown greek drama here.... no news from SIL's fiancé but it's more and more looking like he ripped us off on the price as he was going golfing today and needed cash for drinks (I was also surprised how much he kept asking if OH was going to be home to pay him and the fact that he waited for OH to get there when he was done already)
OH's spoke to his sister and it looks like either he is going to remove the fan or not even bother but we should be getting our money back (better sooner rather than later as I am determined to see it back and in full!)
We are getting some paint tomorrow from the DIY shop so will get a super silent fan and the plumber that is doing the pipe in the garage has agreed to put the fan in for us.

SIL has cancelled her training this afternoon... she is not feeling well... or I guess she is feeling a bit awkward by it all.... I wish I was a fly on the wall when she confronts her fiancé tonight as to why he charged us so much.... but so far she is defending him (he has been overcharged by the whole seller and clearly...he has been badly trained - nothing to do with him.... even when he leaves a right mess in the loft -he was prob just tired)

VERY AWKWARD SITUATION

Also nearly threw up at the optician.... had to smell the horrible breath of a 70+ yo optician right in my face and very nearly said "get off my face you stink".... had to breathe through my mouth, it was horrible... anyway got my free eye test and my very cheap new glasses... going to get my prescription and order online so I don't have to go back!

how are the poorly babies?
I wish we could all be closer to meet up as I think I must be coming across as a grumpy horrible french person but honest, I am actually a very happy, giggly person.... I just seem to have loads to complain to you about!

 

[TySonNMe]

LoL V that's funny about the optician...gross!

 

[SBB]

V I'm glad you've put it out there though and hopefully you'll get an apology with your money!!

Lou / Jess how are Ben / Lili? Jess did anything happen with FF?!

Marg I'm glad you think he will be involved still... Was just a bit worried that he doesn't like the responsibility of a family but he obviously loves Jax a lot so no worries there

X x x

 

[Euronova]

FIGHT

So SIL called and it's no fault of her fiancé and all sort of crap about him not knowing the price and inventing it so he had the cash there to reimburse his boss (what about his story about negotiating us a good deal??)
OH went mad with her whilst i was on the phone to a friend. When I hanged up it turned out that her and her fiancé had been playing my voicemail to all the in laws and saying how rude I am... (after all... poor him, he had driven after work to hours to fit the shit fan and then I leave a horrible voicemail to him... that is not the way apparently that you say things in England.... and "it's just a fan" and some crap about "we're family")

Well I flipped and called her can gave her the full force of the french beast! I told her how she is the rude one to play my voicemail, how they keep finding pathetic excuses and they will have to finally learn to accept responsibility and how I am sick and tired of everyone being worried that they are upset when I am the bloody upset and screwed over one and no one has even said sorry to me once over any of this!

Anyway, he is going to take the fan back (all f*cking £20 of it!), well that won't be awkward having him in the house for an hour taking it down....I really doubt he will come but if he does I will be here and I will want to get to the bottom of it with him... (BTW... he hasn't had the balls to call me... he is just man enough to play my voicemail to MIL)

I am absolutely raging... so apparently I am the r*de one after all this and poor him .... we can't win... so we just have to get screwed and keep quiet so everyone is happy!

Good I am stressed!!!!! and OH is really concerned about the baby.... and I have to say I feel so tense I know it's not good...

 

[SBB]

Ok take a few deep breaths!!

Don't worry about the mil, so far she's only heard their side, when OH explains your side she'll have to understand. Anyone who thinks its ok to extract steam/water into a place with no/little ventilation, where you store things, there are wooden beams, and most importantly electrics - is a total idiot and a cowboy. She will have to see that and understand why you're so mad about that and the money.

She shouldn't run to mummy and play your message either - how old is she?!

And English and would have done the same thing!!

Try and chill and breath and relax about it - it's all out there now!

And never get family to do work for you - always trouble!!

X x x

 

[Euronova]

Hi Suz- thanks you are really right.

Slept OK but really pissed off none of them as even apologised even just for the trouble.
I am very annoyed with MIL once because she said my voicemail was rude (I was very factual an did not make any conclusions) and secondly because apparently I am tearing the family apart over a fan??!!!! I just hate it that it seems no issue can ever be sorted in that family, everything as to be kept nice and superficial. I am not planning on holding a grudge or anything but when there is a prob I wanna be able to talk about it, get tithe bottom of it and move on.
It's holding back to the resentment of being screwed over by family members whilst having to keep a "happy, nothing is ever a problem or a worry" front that is not good.
I am astounded how everyone is backing SIL and her fiancé... They have completely gone into persecuted mode and I am the nasty one for complaining.
It seems he is a looser and a bad tradesman so everyone's got to feel sorry for him and I am the baddy for rubbing his nose in it.
Definitely going to have it out with MIL too... I might be digging myself a hole but if there is something I cannot stand is an unfair situation.

 

[TySonNMe]

Marg I'm glad you think he will be involved still... Was just a bit worried that he doesn't like the responsibility of a family but he obviously loves Jax a lot so no worries there

X x x

Yeah, since then he's stepped it up a bit and has helped me out a lot more with Jackson. He knows that Jackson absolutely adores him. Last night when OH got home from work Jackson ran to him and hugged his leg, he was so happy to see his daddy.

V, I hope you're feeling a bit better. Ugh, this drama with your ILs is ridiculous.

 

[Euronova]

Sorry girls I have clearly bored you to death with this story.... I think we are getting to the end of it... I am begin made a massive scapegoat and basically they are turning on me like a pack of wolves....

So my message was rude and nasty... and apparently Oliver has been rude and nasty and as his mum said..." I have not brought him that way" which I replied with "so basically you are saying that it is also my fault that your son now speaks his mind?"
I got the whole: "in our family we are not used to all this nastiness" basically all my fault it seems and the fact we were screwed over in the first place and entitled to be upset has gone completely out the window.

This afternoon i reached out and apologised for the end of my voicemail (when i asked for my money back- i can understand how they think i should have given him a chance to fix or at least explain before that... but then honestly he had screwed us so bad, I am not supposed to be a bit annoyed???)
I said I felt that I had only stuck to the facts but I can understand that my Frenchness took them off guard. But also said I was upset that no-one seems to care about the fact that we might be unhappy with finding out not only that the job was not done properly but also that we were made to pay too much!

Anyway no answer to my text which i find more and more upsetting.

Then SIL calls OH tonight to say she will drop the money at his mum (too scared to come here it seems - she works 5 mins down the road)... and it's all the same... I am rude and nasty.... i should not have spoken to him like this.... and nothing is his fault. Poor poor him badly trained and taken for a ride by the suplier.

Turns out I was right from the beginning, well we all know I was but now they have finally caught up with building regulation... reassuring for a newly qualified tradesman... you should not put a fan with the steam going into the loft (but apparently his boss did not know, so not his fault he has just been badly trained... WHAT ABOUT COMMON SENSE??).... and we are still not going anywhere about the price: now he was apparently going to give us some money back when he would have found out it was cheaper than he thought???
So WHY did he say that he had negotiated a good price? how come he doesn't even know the price of something he chose and bought? (in this case such a cheap fan that it is absolutely rubbish!) and he has been saying it was £45 for 2 weeks and never mentioned having to check the price and was firmly waiting for his cash that evening!!! DODGY!!!! I think he knows he has not got a leg to stand on.

Anyway.... OH has tried to speak to him all day but he is too embarrassed to pick up his phone and OH said to his sister that I shouldn't have had to make the first move and apologise for "being French", we have still not have a single bit of apology from him/them..... and that we need to get to the bottom of this.

Anyway I have been made a massive scapegoat.... but i guess at least I have been the bigger person I showed that I can recognise that i might have "involuntarily" upset them with being too forward.... now I also feel a bit like an idiot.. as i think i had every right to be upset.

What a f*cking mess. I cannot believe that OH's family has turned on me like this... it's very nasty of them (i never intended to be nasty but the way they are holding this against me is really horrible) and they have not a single bit of consideration for my stress levels or the fact that if he had done his job properly I would never have had to leave a voicemail in the first place.... Well that will teach me....

Just feeling really isolated and lonely here... I wish I had my family/friends for support... makes me want to go back home SO badly... I know it will get only worse when the baby is here and I don't agree with how they behave around him.

Anyway that's it for my stupid story... I feel drained and just SO low... I am not a mean person and no-one has ever said I am nasty... I am very honest though and I will not bitch about and I not afraid to tell people what i think to their faces, but i am not intending to hurt, I just don't like being taken for a ride.

How are the babies? Is Ben any better?
How is Lili??
Jess, how was your last counselling? any update on your blog??
Marg - that is SO cute. I hope you work out your situation one way or the other. But it is nice that you know he will be there for hi son

 

[TySonNMe]

They are making you out to be the bad person because you are speaking up for yourself and your family. They ought to get over themselves. Sorry hun

 

[SBB]

V I feel really sorry for you it's awful dealing with ILs especially if your own family aren't here. I can understand why his wife is standing up for him, because hell be lying to her and she won't want to think he'd do that so she's backing him!! Pretty stupid but to be expected
As for the mil etc does no one give a shit that you're pregnant?! If I were you I would just stay totally clear and have no contact with any of them, and same for your OH, and let them come to you, or f**k off!!
We don't mind you ranting about it

Sammuel has been on the phone ALL day!! It's so fricking cute - he just picks up any random object and walks around talking into it... So funny! Today he's been on an iPhone, the house phone, a camera charger (dragging lead around), cardboard box, monkey, sock, slipper, piece of plastic, toy guitar, and a boat!!

Marg that's really cute, as soon as he hears the door Sammuel shouts dada and runs to see him!! Love it...

X x x

 

[TySonNMe]

LoL yeah, our door has a sensor attached that beeps when it's opened...as soon as he hears that he goes to see who's coming through the door.

 

[Euronova]

How cute about the phones!!! I cannot wait for the baby to interact with OH, i think he will be such a good daddy!

That's it for today, the closest i will get to an apology is the text i finally got from SIL was "thank you for your message, we all said what we had to say now we can all put it behind us".....
Oh has had a good chat with her and it seems that they had agreed that her partner needed to call us and explain things himself and that as I made a first step to apologise for being "French" it would be good for him to apologise in term for the mess he has done with the job.

It turns out that fan could have set fire to our house!
He has not called to clarify and I doubt he will...

I am happier now... i am definitely moving on. I know that I am not in the wrong, i have apologised more than I should, if they want to go on reproaching things to me then it's them being nasty.
When I think that I thought I left a pretty "tame" voicemail, he was apparently in shock when he got it... clearly he is not quite man enough to handle a French women!

I am pleased OH stuck up for me and i think we will just keep as distant as possible and not expect anything from them.

As you said it's tougher as I am so far from my own family but it's nice to have you girls and my other friends Everyone that knows me will tell you that i am very honest but definitely not nasty and that OH and I are always very generous to family and friends..... it's just hard to think that people who have known me for 6 years could think that of me.. but then they are such dysfunctional in the way they deal with any issue, it's not surprising!!!

 

[SBB]

Well I'm glad you're feeling a bit better/calmer about it... I think they're ridiculous! But most inlaws are! I am feeling quite lucky with mine now

I was 'the beast' today - not handling stress well! Got a bill from BT who we have phone and broadband with and they are trying to charge us a 'one off payment' of £340!!! Wtf?! Won't bore you with the details but they've fucked up, and of course they make it as difficult as possible to sort it out... Arseholes. I went off on one and was in a foul mood for hours!

X x x

 

[Euronova]

LOL I know the beast very well!!

Hopefully I won't see the return of the beast for a few days at least.... it's been a bad couple of week, with OH's tax, me crashing the car... and now this... I really can do with a few non stressful days!

5 months today!!! 4 to go! i am going to be SO huge by the end!!! is my belly sort of going to double or more compared to now?

I hate BT... i am definitely rude to them!! last time i got so annoyed about the indian call centre, i said to the guy i could not get his name and if i could call him Joe lol and then I asked if he was in India and just said I wanted someone to call me from England lol

 

[SBB]

happy 5 months!
The beast has been out here this morning maybe it's this stage of pregnancy?! All the stress isn't going to help though...
I suggested we go for a walk and take S to our village play area, I was better after that. He went on the slide and loved it and did lots of walking!

I have my scan Tuesday - can I stay team yellow?!

x x x

 

[SBB]

V you will get huge, I think people forget how big pregnant women get because at the end everyone says how huge you are!! But I LOVED having a huge bump, and let everyone touch it and pat it and stuff and feel baby move - there's nothing like it and I missed it so much afterwards!
In fact - just before I found out I was pregnant again, we'd seen a few friends and pregnant people on TV and stuff, and I said 'it's not fair I want a baby in my tummy ' little did I know there was one in there! Enjoy it as much as you can because that first bump especially is so special!

x x x

 

[Euronova]

i do actually enjoy being pregnant, I love my bump and am quite proud of it as i think people are not far now from being 100% sure I am pregnant. Like when I said I am pregnant before they would say "really?? now they say "i thought so"
and apart from the beast and coping very badly with stress I think I am doing pretty well so far with no major ailment.
I know it will all get more and more uncomfortable but the other ladies on my thread have all been complaining of all sorts of problems for weeks.

You HAVE to find out!! I am so sure it is a girl lol I felt so much better for finding out, I actually would recommend it to anyone, it's really helped me and OH bond with the baby a bit more already!

I hope you don't feel too moody today, I feel much much better and energised. Going out with the dogs to do some training in the park.

 

[SBB]

Sorry but you'll have to wait to see if you're right!

I am ok now. ILs have even been over and not annoyed me too much!

Found out this morning that this French guy in our village died in an avalanche in France apparently while skiing. He has 4 kids one who is only 10 or 11 months old it's so sad for the family. We only just met them, they moved in just round the corner after moving back from France... They used to live in the house next door to us before that. So sad.

X x x

 

[Euronova]

that is so so sad is his wife French too? I wonder how she will cope on her own with 4
So much tragedy it seems, 2 of the ladies in the June thread have gone into premature labour and lost their babies... so scary.... another has just had her twins at 27 weeks... so very much touch and go...