Co-sleeping question

[enola]

Hello lovely ladies,

I apologise in advance if this has been asked/discussed before - I did try searching for it, and have Googled this query but can't seem to find a straight forward answer (perhaps because a lot of information on co-sleeping is American and they have the advantage of a warmer climate?).

My question is: DUVETS! Do you use one when co-sleeping? Can you use one? How?

Our first is due in March and I'm trying to get as much information together as possible. We have a Moses basket, which I figure if anything will be handy for daytime naps (although, let's face it, he'll probably be in my sling!). We're both very keen on attachment parenting, and I've been practicing baby-wearing with a doll (and feeling like a nutter in the process!).

DH is very keen on co-sleeping. I was initially skeptical, being a child of convention sometimes and easily scared by random government facts. However, after reading through lots of articles and now I have The Baby Book by the wonderful Sears & Sears, I can very much see us going down the co-sleeping/family bed route.

My primary concern is safety. We have big fluffy feather pillows and a nice downy duvet on our bed, as well as a memory foam mattress topper (although this is not 'sinky' and covered by a sheet).
I'm guessing from what I've read that our best bet is to remove the mattress topper, but I cannot seem to find ANY advice on how exactly you position baby with regards to you and your bedding. I'm a complete novice and apologise if I'm asking a ridiculous question.

We'd quite like to have the baby in between the two of us so we'd both be a guard against falling out - DH is a very light sleeper and very sensitive to movement etc. so I personally have no worries that he'll roll or accidentally knock our son.

Any advice would be so much appreciated! Thank you so much for your time in reading this

 

[lepaskilf]

i don't want to be accused of giving bad advice because i don't think the way i co-sleep is the best! but i works for us so it's just an idea......

we don't co-sleep every night and will prob stop when the weather gets warmer but when we do our LO sleeps in the middle, with the duvet up to his waist, me and OH sleep slightly lower down the bed so the duvet covers us comletely with no worry of smothering Tom.

Our mattress is memory foam topped but we have never thought it a bother!

 

[Foxxy]

Oh i'm not a big helper as i'm sleeping alone in bed with my LO. And anyway some tips from me. Until 7 months i've used sleeping bag to keep him warm. Then it was warm enough without any bag or duvet. Now he sleeps under his own duvet.
And as about pillow. It's recommended not to use a pillow until 2 years old. So his head is a little bit lower than the pillow ends.
Hope u will find the best way for all of u!

 

[lepaskilf]

we use pillows positioned lengthways down the bed which leave a gap for tom and keeps us from moving up the bed. tom is also in a sleeping bag

 

[Tacey]

Like others have said, I'm not suggesting this is best, but we have just moved Alice from the middle out to the side. We put up a bed guard at the weekend (from the ASDA baby event) because I wanted to be more tucked up in a duvet. Now Steve and I have the duvet and Alice has her sleeping bag. She's also had blanket on top through this snowy weather.

We have just experimented really and tried lots of different things. I was worried at first, but quickly found that I was checking on her temperature and rearranging bedding in the night anyway so I would soon find out if anything was wrong. I'm sure we'll be changing again before long!

Oh, and also, well done for thinking about it now. I wish I had known more about co-sleeping earlier on and had Alice in with me straight away. It's the best feeling to wake up next to your baby! Enjoy it!

 

[moomin_troll]

when i co slept zane was always in my arms lying on his side his face facing my chest and my arm would be his pillow bascialy and my arm would go around him and hed be under my duvet.

being so close to me and my arm being the way it was i cudnt roll over and would feel if my oh got too close for my liking and id feel if zane was cold or too hot.

also at 3 months zane in the middle of the night stopped breathing i woke up straight away and was able to flip him over and shock him into breathing again and i was so happy he was so close to me cuz if he was in a cot would i of been able to help him.

 

[Rebaby]

I sleep on my side facing Toby and he faces me, with the duvet up to my waist so it only covers Toby's toes and then he sleeps in a baby sleeping bag or under his own blanket. Our bedroom is very warm but on occasion, with the recent cold weather i did feel i wanted my shoulders covered so i just pulled the duvet up over me but sort of diagonally so it still didn't actually cover Toby (sorry, i don't know how to explain that any better!)

OH works nights some of the time so when that happens Toby sleeps in the middle of the bed but when OH is in the bed too OH and i sleep next to each other and Toby on the other side of me, but my OH is a heavy sleeper and neither of us would feel comfy with Toby in the middle i don't think.

It's great you are thinking ahead already, i wish i'd researched co sleeping before we had Toby rather than just taking the standard "Don't do it!" line from the government

 

[irenepc]

Hi there,
I sometimes co-sleep and worry that Lilia will get too hot so I have her at the side of the bed and she is in her sleeping bag and I fold the duvet back or move it back so she isn't covered. But when it was really cold the past few weeks, I did put the duvet on her as I think she kept waking up as she was cold.
Sometimes she sleeps in the middle too. For some reason, I have found that she will snuggle up really close to either myself or OH depending on where she is so we end up right on the edge of the bed as we don't want to squash her!
I did worry about co sleeping due to all the warnings but she seems happy to sleep in her own cot too. I now put her to sleep in her own cot and own room and if she wakes really early and won't settle quickly [my cut off time is 4am], I will bring her into our bed as I can't be doing with standing over her cot for ages as I'm working now.
Hope this helps!!!

 

[lepaskilf]

I now put her to sleep in her own cot and own room and if she wakes really early and won't settle quickly [my cut off time is 4am], I will bring her into our bed as I can't be doing with standing over her cot for ages as I'm working now.
Hope this helps!!!

i do this now, tom goes in his cot for the first half of the night and then when he wakes up at 3am he comes in with me (much to our dogs annoyance because he get kicked down to the bottom of the bed!)

 

[Shifter]

We put Jack in the middle (not that he comes in with us much any more) with his head level with my chest and a few inches from the pillows, we have the duvet to our waists so it covers some of Jack too. I keep my free arm, the one I'm not lying on, hear Jack and can monitor the duvet through the night so that it doesn't ride up.

 

[Neon]

Agree - not suggesting this is correct - it's what works for us all. We sleep either side of DS and the duvet comes up to his waist. We have tried variations - sometimes in a gro-bag on top of the duvet and sometimes DP has duvet and I share a blanket with DS!

 

[milkmachine]

i used to have faith on my side not inbetween through fear of her suffercating faith used to have a blanket and id keep the duvet tucked in tightly around me.

 

[enola]

Thank you all so much for these suggestions
It's so reassuring to hear of so many people co-sleeping, and the different methods of doing so - thank you!