Co-Sleeping with more than one...

[RosemaryBaby]

We've happily shared our bed with our now almost 3 year old and want to bring our newest in too. Space isn't an issue - we side car the crib to one side of our queen bed and a twin bed to the other side. Problem is that our 6 week old is loud - he's a grunter with all his gas. My dd did that, too, which kept me up but I recall it disappearing sometime before 3 months. Right now I put DD to sleep in the big bed (I nurse her to sleep) and then I come down and sleep with DS (he's exclusively BF so it doesn't make sense for DH to sleep with since he'd just have to wake me every couple of hours and get me out of bed anyway). Problem is, DD wakes up in the middle of the night or wee hours of the morning looking for me and freaks out. She won't be consoled by Daddy AT ALL (falls into hysterics pretty much) if she even wakes him, and more often than not she just comes downstairs for me without telling him (and he happily sleeps through her getting out of bed to catch the extra sleep in the big empty bed!). This is driving us all crazy. I think she'd be okay if I were in the bed with her, but don't know how to do that without waking her from his noise.

How did you all handle (successfully or otherwise) sleeping with multiples or in separate rooms with a very attached toddler not ready to stop nursing or co-sleeping?

Thanks in advance for any contributions!

 

[Cangaroo]

My DD voluntarily moved out of our bed just after she turned 3. She still often woke in the night and we had to go and lie with her to resettle her. Now DD2 is here, we co-sleep with DD2 and if DD1 wakes in the night she comes in to join us. DD2 was pretty noisy when falling asleep at first, but is much quieter now and doesn't disturb DD1 as she starts off in her own room anyway. We have a super king sized bed and a side-car cot so plenty of room. DD2 always sleeps between me and the cot (she won't sleep in the cot yet but I like having the extra room) and DD1 always comes into the middle of the bed so they never sleep next to each other. I have frequently woken in the morning having slept through (I feed DD2 in my sleep) to find DD1 has joined us without waking us!

I hope you find a solution that works for all if you.

 

[Tulip]

We have baby and I in one room, DS1 and hubby in another. Our rooms just won't fit 4 of us in, plus hubby gets better sleep without baby waking (though he does end up with 4yo's foot in his face reasonably often).

 

[RosemaryBaby]

We are trying the separate spaces until DS gets quieter, but if DD wakes up at any point and sees that I'm not in the bed with her she freaks out - screams screams screams. It's maddening!

 

[MommyJogger]

We're all in the same bed(s) (me, husband, 2.5yo, and 5mo). It was a bit noisy at first, but whenever DS2 happened to wake DS1, everyone just went right back to sleep in a few minutes. We had a couple times there was a more profound wakeup all around, but for the most part, it sounds like you're having rough nights like that anyway. I'd say it was worth a shot to just put everyone in the same room for a week and see how everyone adjusts. Our toddler sleeps through the noise (or when he does stir, it's not new and interesting anymore, so it's right back to sleep) now. DS2 is a noisy, noisy nurser on the occasion he nurses at night. I know ideally things will just slot into place, but as long as emotions are dealt with gently, sometimes you have to give the family the opportunity to adapt.
Your DD is probably feeling a bit insecure with the new baby-- she might feel better with you close at night even if she's getting woken up more often. You could also try running some white noise or a gentle sounds disk so that when the grunting starts, it doesn't seem as loud as it would in the otherwise silent room. But I'd say a family bed is definitely worth a shot.

 

[RosemaryBaby]

We're all in the same bed(s) (me, husband, 2.5yo, and 5mo). It was a bit noisy at first, but whenever DS2 happened to wake DS1, everyone just went right back to sleep in a few minutes. We had a couple times there was a more profound wakeup all around, but for the most part, it sounds like you're having rough nights like that anyway. I'd say it was worth a shot to just put everyone in the same room for a week and see how everyone adjusts. Our toddler sleeps through the noise (or when he does stir, it's not new and interesting anymore, so it's right back to sleep) now. DS2 is a noisy, noisy nurser on the occasion he nurses at night. I know ideally things will just slot into place, but as long as emotions are dealt with gently, sometimes you have to give the family the opportunity to adapt.
Your DD is probably feeling a bit insecure with the new baby-- she might feel better with you close at night even if she's getting woken up more often. You could also try running some white noise or a gentle sounds disk so that when the grunting starts, it doesn't seem as loud as it would in the otherwise silent room. But I'd say a family bed is definitely worth a shot.

Really great insight, thank you! I think you are right about DD's insecurity and needing to be close. It might be rough or awkward for a few nights, but if we adapt as you describe how your family has it will be worth it. I definitely miss sleeping with my DH and DD and the closeness it brings.
The white noise might muffle some of DH's snoring, too!

 

[belle254]

My dd is 32 months and ds is 20 months. They both start the night in their own bed/cot and by the time I go to bed I swear they sense me settle into a comfy sleep as my daughter pads across to my room and gets in with me and then my son whinges for a cuddle too so I just bring him in too. I've for bed guards on my double bed and I don't sleep as well when they're both in with me but they love it they don't tend to wake each other up unless one bursts out crying for a long period of time after a night terror xxxx