Coffee talk rant.

[tamithomas]

Hi Ladies, so my DH just left to meet up with a friend of mine who's gf fell prego by accident, of course who doesn't these days besides us right? Anyways he just left to go see the father who's apparently going through the "holy beep this is really happening" phase. Maybe I've been ttc'ing for too long but am I the only one who gets ticked off when people even go through that phase? The ones that see becoming a parent as something to complain about? My DH says the reason I don't understand is because it's a man thing. Maybe he's right, I dunno. He's at the coffee shop with him talking it over but I just wanted to know if any of your DH's have the same mentality or if my judgement is just clogged because of the TTC for so long that the slightest complaint and I react to anger to them. Usually I would go with him but this time I knew in my heart I would not be able to handle her baby bump as well as nothing but the talk about baby this and baby that. The couple is the annoying type where suddenly every other subject in the book has gone out the window for the passed 6 months. Just curious for opinions

 

[NavyWife84]

I'm with you...it annoys me. Sadly though, it is so easy for so many people to get that BFP, they don't have the time we do to think about all of this. When I think waaayyyy back to when DH and I started trying, I think we might have had that oh sh*t moment too. Even though we had money in the bank, own a house, have been married for years, etc...all the things you are "supposed" to do before having a baby. Even with all of that, had it happened right away we might have not been mentally ready for it. Now we have had too much time to think

 

[StephieB]

Woman who is angered easily by pregnancy complaints over here

But I agree with what Jenn said as well, for many people getting their is like nipping to the shop to buy a 4 pints of milk, then they walk home and realise they don't know what they're going to do with all that milk now they've got it where as us thirsty people who have needed milk for a long time, already have big plans and know exactly what we're going to do with it when we finally get our hands on some. I think thats one of the strangest infertility analogies I've come up with

I'm a teacher, and an ex colleague of mine approached me when she was 3 months pregnant, and asked if she could have my classroom on the bottom floor, as she didn't want to walk up 1 flight of stairs anymore now she was pregnant I laughed, and she said "oh you just don't understand how hard it is walking up stairs!" now that's a ridiculous pregnancy moan!

N.B - Before people start jumping on me and outing me for a insensitive infertile woman who doesn't understand pregnancy, your right I don't, but I did understand that this particular colleague was already a pretty large lady to begin with, and she lived on the top floor of a 5 story building, she didn't move out and live in the garden....

 

[tamithomas]

Navy Wife: Yea for it's a sadly moment when we hear how easy some can get bfp. My main beef is that according to my DH every man weither planned pregnancy or not, go through the "oh crap this is really happening" phase. At first my DH did not understand why I didn't want to go with him as we usually go visit people together religiously but luckily he's that type of husband that will sit down and try to learn/understand. I explained to him about how people complaining about pregnancy really gets knee deep for me because I'm getting so tired of visiting everyone elses new borns, I wanna hold my own already and saw how emotional I got he instantly understood. There's a certain TTC youtuber i follow, can't remember he name but she said the best sentence that describes us all : We are mothers without a child.

I asked the DH after writing this when he came home how he is so easily capable of sitting through those talks even though we both know he is just as ancy about TTC as I am and he told me that it's his way of coping. For him if the subject starts to become taboo that's when the sad if feeling will really start to sink in and he's the type where if depression and focus on getting something done takes over, there's no turning back until we got a positive BFP and it's no way to live and I can respect that.

StephieB: Oh dear, that indeed is a pregnancy moan. Hate those pregnant women who demand to be specially treated just because of pregnancy.


What sucked even more is we went for a coffee just the two of us meaning my DH and I, we bumped into that same guy the one that's gonna be a father and I got the famous "you're gonna come visit the newborn when it's here right?" on his way out the coffee shop door and the DH saw that I was seriously uncomfortable answering that question so he answered with a quick "sure". Luckily I got a DH who is willing to learn and cope with my feelings as well as his.