Conflicting with FOB over daycare

[Natsku]

FOB asked me what my future plans are and I mentioned possibly going to vocational school or working after Maria turns 3 which means I would have to put her in daycare and he doesn't want me to do that. He doesn't want her going to daycare and thinks that if I want to study or go to work then I should let Maria live with him (he's unemployed) so she doesn't have to go to daycare.

I really don't know how to go about compromising with him over this. I don't want her to live with him the majority of the time obviously but we have joint custody which I thinks I can't put her in daycare without his approval. I also would feel bad going against him if its something he feels so strongly about. But I don't know how I'll afford to stay home after she turns 3 as my child home care leave ends then.

Any ideas on how to compromise on this? Or anyone know of any studies/articles that show that daycare isn't bad for 3 year olds? He just keeps linking me to articles saying bad things about daycare.

 

[Ceejay123]

Riley loves nursery, the interaction with other kids is essential for them.

Could you not just change his visitation days so that maybe he has her 1/2 of the days and she goes into daycare to meet other kids the other days x

 

[Natsku]

I was thinking by that age that Maria will really benefit from interaction with other kids as she's quite shy at the moment.

I guess I could change visitation, we're due to reassess the custody agreement when she turns 4 anyway, wouldn't like to lose out on more time with her though. But its an idea anyway, thanks.

 

[Dream.dream]

Daycare is not bad as long as you pick a good clean daycare with trained and educated staff . It's a good chance for children to gain independence and social skills.

However if he doesn't agree with you , you may have to go to court and have a judge decide . If you have to go that route I suggest you find a quality daycare with good reviews , visit it and bring documentation of this to court to show that you've done your research and show why you think it would be good for her. Dad probably doesn't want daycare as he would have to pay for half of it

 

[Natsku]

Thats a good idea, I'll look into the local daycares and see whats good.

Its not about the cost as daycare is very cheap here, if I use public it probably won't cost more than 20 euros a month and private will still only be a few hundred.

 

[Dream.dream]

Thats a good idea, I'll look into the local daycares and see whats good.

Its not about the cost as daycare is very cheap here, if I use public it probably won't cost more than 20 euros a month and private will still only be a few hundred.

No reason not to my sons 4 and loves his daycare workers and the kid there . He has his friends and does a lot of cool things . I drop him off in the mornings and he honestly doesn't even look back

 

[Natsku]

I bet Maria would enjoy getting to play with other children and doing more in the way of arts and crafts than she can do at home. My ex is just so paranoid though, he trawls through news articles to find the horror stories of daycare and thinks they are representative of all daycares in the entire country

 

[babycrazy1706]

aww i bet she'd love daycare!!!

if you cant come to an agreement, could you go to night school or do an open university type course at home? Xx

OR work in the evening and have timo watch maria? Xx