Confused

[Baby France]

So.....

My hubby left me in August after a few months of umming and arrring.

He's considering coming back. I'm not sure how I feel but anyways. I'm confused?

I don't know if he's coming back because he's realised all the shit I paid for (since we split up, he's been to Leeds festival, Benidorm and a weekend in Crewe....all organised before our split)...I know that the car we bought before our split is a drain on his finances. His insurance is sky high on it from his history.

How did you feel when you split? Its been so hard? I've been embarrassed. We've not even been married a year I mean, I am so ashamed when I talk to the people who came to our wedding and spent the day with us. I don't want them to think I didn't take my vows seriously. I DID!! But what do you do?

I'm scared if I let him back in, that he'll take advantage and its purely just for the sake of it rather than the right reasons?

I've told him that I want anger management and marriage counselling but??

Maybe its just best if I do just go it alone. But I feel, I don't know?

 

[Dezireey]

I think if you are married with kids and commitments (mortgage etc) then marriage counselling and both doing the best to perhaps piece things together is advisable first. Your partner must be just as willing as you though to make changes, go to counselling and both of you compromise.It just won't work if neither or just one of you won't pull out all the stops to change things. Marriage is tough, life is tough, having kids is hard work. Only you know in your heart if this is a rough patch or if you or him no longer love the other.

If you know you love him and he loves you, then it can't hurt to give it another try. Its that old mantra 'two strikes and you are out'. Giving someone one chance is usually acceptable, as we all make mistakes and make rash decisions. But a man that comes back and still messes you about a second time, is just not worth it after that. Truly he is not.

That is what I would do, give him a go but if he acted like a twat or messed me around a second time, I would call it quits as its just not meant to be.

 

[Jade--x]

I'm sorry I haven't been in your position and I have no advice at all, but wanted to send some hugs your way hope you're ok x

 

[daneuse27]

It doesn't sound like you're anywhere near ready to take that step with him just yet. You've understandably lost a lot of trust, and that doesn't just come back overnight once he says he wants back in.

I definitely think you should take all the time, and possibly marriage counseling too that you may need to be sure on this. And if he's serious about this, and wanting to come back for the right reasons, then he should have no problem with you taking all the time you need to be absolutely sure. He betrayed you and needs to be prepared to own up and do everything to make you trust him again.

 

[Baby France]

Thanks ladies. I think you are right, I'm not ready to be with him. I'm not even sure if that is what I actually want?

xx