considering adoption! help!!

[moshpitmakeou]

I'm trying to research advantages of one parent homes versus two parent homes. I'm a teen mother, and the father has made it quite clear that he will not be having anything to do with my son. I'm trying to figure out what's really best for my child. I'm due in March, so my baby boy has not been born yet.
I really want to do whatever is best for this child.

So toss out advantages of being the single birth-mother versus two adoptive parents.

I'm 17 years old, I will be 18 when my baby boy is born. I'm living with my parents, and will be attending college for 2-3 years. After that I plan on getting a job, and as soon as I can financially support myself, I will be moving out. My parents are great rolemodels and honestly have a great relationship. They are going to help me out in whatever way they can so I can keep the baby if that's what I decide I want to do.

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UPDATE

Thanks EVERYONE for your responses. My baby's father just really got me thinking if I was equipped enough to be mother to this baby. Telling me I'm 17 & therefore not equipped. When in fact, he made me realize how much I really am. And this is what I want to do as well. I'm going to keep this baby & raise him myself There is no guarantees with adoption. But I do know for sure my child will have a fun and prosperous life with me. There is know way of knowing if the adoptive parents will for sure give better than that!

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another update haha, as there were new responces.

this post was made back in december, yes. and i'm now 17 day away from having my son! i couldn't be more thrilled. I am planning on raising my baby boy with the much love, help, and support of my family and friends. I'm honestly very fortunate and blessed. I'm just taking on life in a bit of a different order, but I'm okay with that. Every person I'm in contact with now is supportive of me, and that's an outstanding & probably rare environment considering my age. Again, I'm fortunate. I have cut off communication with baby's father because of his lack of support mainly. All he was doing was stressing me out, and putting me down. I won't let him do that to me or my son.

Thanks all for your kind and wonderful words of wisdom.

 

[wishingonastar]

honey, don't worry about the babys dad...you can offer the child more than enough love just from you. one of my friends who is a fantastic mum has brought up two children alone with neither father being at all interested and her children are a credit to her and lovely little kiddies

these days there is so much support for mums of all ages and in all situations and from the sounds of it your parents will be supportive too so you'll be just fine...it will be hard work but all the best things you have to work hard for and you're gonna have a little treasure in your life before you know it
x x

 

[oursarah]

I really feel for you, but if you want this baby then there is no reason why you shouldn't or couldn't have it. There is so much support out there for mums nowadays, and as you said your parents are supporting you, that is probably the best help you could ask for. My mum was a single parent and we are so close now as a result of that, and I honestly wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm 21 myself, but I had a pregnancy at 15 and was terrified so I can sort of imagine how you're feeling. If you need some one to talk to, feel free to send me a message

Take care, and I hope you have a lovely Christmas x

 

[hypnorm]

I know afew single mums and they all get on fine, some have no family support.

 

[nikky0907]

I think adoption is a very selfless,great thing to do.

But don't get ahead of yourself.I'm 19 and a single mom,also in college and I do just fine,without the support of my parents!
Your child can have a wonderful home with you,yes it can have it with his two adoptive parents but there's no way to know or see whether they would do a better job.

The decision is ultimatly up to you but don't do it for the wrong reason,or if you're not 100 % sure he'd be better off.

 

[LilMama2be]

I was adopted by my parents, i have a great family. But the thing is, not everyone who is adopted who get a life like my parents gave me. I'm my birth mother found me this family. I'm sure i would of had a loving family with my single birth mother too though, I just haven't met her... So.. It's really up to you.

I am not going for adoption because i just don't feel that's what best in this situation. I have a family who loves me, so they will love my son/daughter too =]

I hope you are happy with the choice you make

 

[massacubano]

I think you know that true love of a Mother is to think of the child before yourself. I really think you are very mature to consider adoption. Being that you were adopted I am sure you know that the baby does have a good chance of being placed in a lovely home.

I would check out potential parents and look very careful should you choose to do adoption. However, if you keep the baby. I am sure you will do a great job too!

 

[alio]

you sound like you'll make a great mum... and you have a good support network by the sound of it. xxx

 

[soliloquise]

i think you sound like you would be a fab mum too.. two parents are not important.. having one that loves it is. two is a bonus but not essential. you will be fine. i have thought the same i must admit cos of health issues but i think i can do it. get all the support in place. i have little family support too... you have so i think you sound v sorted and will no doubt do great

sam xx

 

[Sinead]

Hun, you obviously lobe your child soo much that you want to do what is right for him/her. But think about it fully. My youngest foster sister has Lexie at 17 and because of the situation she was in she was taken immediatly. My foster sister now has cjose whether to oppose the adoption or not - it is a heartbreaking decision for her. I have the upmost respect for you whatever you decide. Good luck xxxxxx

 

[loz]

i was 18 when i had my little girl and split up with her dad when she was two, he still has contact but is hardly a great dad. she is the best thing that happened to me and i reckon if i can do it on my own you can. you will be a fantastic mum as you put your childs needs first and you have loads ov support from your parents. x x

 

[jade8701]

my dad left wen i was little, was jus me n my mum, she may not of had lots of money, at one point we were nearly homeless but i grew up fine

 

[tasha41]

Adoption is such a beautiful, selfless act. I considered it when I found out I was pregnant, but my boyfriend is with me and wanted none of it. Now that I've bonded a little more with baby and have the support of my family, I know keeping her with me is the right thing to do in my situation.

Follow your heart is the best advice I can offer, it sounds really corny but it's all you can do sometimes. I'm sure you will find support in whichever direction you decide to go.

 

[starryeye31]

I'm trying to research advantages of one parent homes versus two parent homes. I'm a teen mother, and the father has made it quite clear that he will not be having anything to do with my son. I'm trying to figure out what's really best for my child. I'm due in March, so my baby boy has not been born yet.
I really want to do whatever is best for this child.

So toss out advantages of being the single birth-mother versus two adoptive parents.

I'm 17 years old, I will be 18 when my baby boy is born. I'm living with my parents, and will be attending college for 2-3 years. After that I plan on getting a job, and as soon as I can financially support myself, I will be moving out. My parents are great rolemodels and honestly have a great relationship. They are going to help me out in whatever way they can so I can keep the baby if that's what I decide I want to do.

I think you are very brave , and very smart my step daughter is 20 years old , single and pregnant , she lives at home with us and has never had a job , I have no idea how she will support her baby , and Ive tried to talk her into giving the baby up but she wont . There are so many ppl out there that would be able to give the baby what it needs , so many ppl that are waiting for a baby to call their own , like I told my step daughter she can always have kids later when she is ready . You need to just do whats is best for your baby hun .

 

[dippy dee]

Hun do what is best for you and your lo, every one will have a different opinion and story, i myself got into a big hole that i thought i couldn't escape it so i gave my 4 children up for adoption, it kills me every day, i wonder how they are and what they are doing, today is the hardest day possible as with their birthdays, not all adoptions work out well my son has been removed from his adoptive home as he was been bullied, i know there is more to it but the day i signed they to the adoptive paents is the day i signed away my rights so i don't know what has happened, where he is and i can't get him back.
Please think long and hard as this is a big thing, sod the 1 parent thing you can do it may others do, i have and would again yep it's hard at times but aren't all the things in life that are worth it.
If you are worried how you would cope please at least try with the help of your family i think you and your baby boy will be fine.
Sorry to go on and on but it is such a big thing, others may think you can have more when you get older/ready but who's to say when ready is? I now have 2 little boys and a 3rd on the way and in no way do these make the pain any better they are my heart but so are my others, it's easy for others to say adoption is best but only a mother knows what she should do for the best.
I wish you all the luck in the world and hope what ever YOU decide is what YOU want, i am here if ever you want to talk. xx

 

[FEDup1981]

i have no experience of adoption, but i do think that if there is ANY part of you that wants to keep this baby then you will always regret giving it up for adoption, even if u think circumstances will be better. You sound like u have wonderful parents, who will support you no matter what, so thats a fantastic start for u and ur baby.

 

[wishingonastar]

also hun you gotta think... you're saying you want to consider the benefits of a single parent versus 2 adoptive parents, but there's no guarantee the adoptive parents will stay together anyway in which case the child could still end up in a one parent family.

i think fedup is right, in that if you have any part of you that wants to keep the child then adoption would be a decision you'd regret be it now or in the future

 

[xx-andy-xx]

If you want the baby, and are willing to sacrifice many things, then by all means, keep the baby!

But if you feel that you cant give the baby everything it deserves, then adoption is a good alternative.
Personally, I'm adopted, and I still have contact with my biological mum... i look at her situation, and I'm proud of her for being selfless enough to give me a better life than she could have.

A lot of people look upon adoption as "giving away" your baby, like you dont want it... but i think that adoption is a form of the most selfless love ever -- you're deciding to let someone else take care of a piece of you.

good luck in your decisions, hun.
xx

 

[Kris0309]

Congrats on your baby. Im sure you will be a great mom. Having 2 parents doesnt mean anything. I most likley raise my little boy on my own too because my ex is not very mind stable meaning his mind wanders and every day his decision changes. But anyway were do like the same time. And my mom is also supportive of me with raising the baby. So if you have any question please message me anytime and goodluck you will be just fine