consultant-advice

[sunnyhope]

Hi
Sorry to come here and ask for advice straight away- yesterday I saw my consultant (he's private) and I had a scan. I was worried because I had alot of discharge suddenly the night before and I was getting pains in the morning that maybe I was going into early labour.
Anyway he told me he would take a swab of the discharge, which he did and then suddenly with no warning he stuck his hand up me- I asked him what he was doing and he said he was feeling if my cervix was dilated.
This made me feel pretty uncomfortable- it was just me and him in his consulting room- am I being oversensitive or is this inappropriate?
I would be grateful for any feedback, I'm not quite sure what to do as we have paid a package for the whole pregnancy but I dont have a very good connection with him and increasingly feel a bit ill at ease with him. I'm 29 weeks.
Thank you.

 

[Emilyc]

Hi there, I have had this done many many times!! my consultant puts his fingers inside and his other hand on my tummy. I often have it done after he has looked inside.

I now have scans on my cervix bi weekly. If I was to go in to hospital today due to pains etc, they would do the same thing look inside then feel inside.

It hurts but they have to be sure your cervix is closed.

Hope that helps xx

 

[sunnyhope]

Thank you- yes it does maybe I'm being oversensitive ! Pretty emotional generally at the moment....xx

 

[sk100]

Not sure he should have done that without asking or without a nurse present. That would have really angered me. Not sure private docs need to follow same guidelines as NHS ones.

 

[Neko]

My male OB always informs me about what he is doing first. While the check was necessary, I would have been uncomfortable about being examined without warning.

 

[lizziedripping]

It is normal to check manually hun, but more advisable to use a speculum to look rather than feel at this stage in pregnancy. You do feel undignified in pregnancy, and even when a female consultant/midwife does it it feels uncomfortable and a tad embarrasing.

If anything your guy was being insensitive to your feelings at the time (again very common with health care professionals), in not taking things more slowly and asking if you'd prefer a nurse present. They are doing far worse than this all the time, so to them it's nothing, whereas to you it's deeply personal and very awkward. I always prefer male consultants who are "no nonsense" and get on with things - makes things more clinical and less personal.

Relax my sweet, just consider it preparation for the trials of labour when you leave your dignity and bladder control at the hospital entrance xxx

 

[lottie77]

Hi this is my 3rd pregnancy and have had many many internals from male and female nhs docs throughout the years for pregnancy and non pregnancy reasons using their hands only and also using speculums but never ever have they done it alone there has always been a female nurse with them and I have always been asked to give permission first infact about 3 weeks ago it was suspected that my waters had broken and it was 2 female midwives who did the check to look at my cervix but only after asking my permission and it was also done with a speculum. I am very surprised at a consultant doing that without informing you he was going to.

I can undersand why he was doing it but he should have told you he was going to do it and then ask you if you wanted a nurse/assisstant present , I would have been very angry and would be phoning the practice and asking what their rules are for doing internals after all not all women who are pregnant would wish an internal and I doubt there are many comfortable having it done alone with the consultant.

 

[fifi-folle]

My experience of this is more before pregnancy (gynae probs for years) and it varies whether you get offered a chaperone but they have always explained what they are doing before hand. This has been both NHS and private. You have the right to refuse an internal (I did when I was checked for abdo pain at 5 wks as previously m/c'd after internal exam).
I think sometimes consultants forget we are people and not just bodies!!

 

[Ember]

In the US, it is illegal for a man to do anything with a woman's vagina without a female nurse present. Even my female Drs have always had a nurse present, though. And whether male or female, they should always tell you what they are about to do. Even if you've been there every week of your pregnancy and had it done every time, they are supposed to warn you of what and when. They also use speculums for that here, not their fingers. They only use their fingers to feel for cysts when doing a regular gyno exam.

I'd call the office and ask about their policy as well, and definitely tell him that you did NOT appreciate the way he treated you. YOU are paying HIM, afterall, and he is delivering YOUR baby. You need to be comfortable with him. If you aren't it can increase the chances of complications. A happy, comfortable, and relaxed mommy is a healthy mommy.