M&S+Bump
M & S + Baby Joe = Family
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Hi ladies
I had a disappointing appointment with my consultant today and it's muddled up my head so I thought I would see if anyone had any similar experiences to help me get my thoughts in order again.
I was originally told a flat out no to a home birth very early on, but when I brought it up with my midwife, she was fully supportive and didn't see a problem at all. She specifically re-arranged today's appointment so that she would be there with me to speak to the consultant - and then she WASN'T!
History: I had Joe 16 months ago. I went into labour at a week overdue (Wednesday evening), contractions 6-15 minutes apart from the get-go. 24 hours after contx started, I phoned the hospital and was told to stay at home until I couldn't take the pain any more.
Friday evening, I was still handling the pain ok but getting tired, having not slept since it all started because it was too sore, and worried because I wasn't feeling great and it all seemed to be dragging on a bit too long. Went to hospital to be examined - 2cm She told me this was 'the tip of the iceberg' and it was going to get a hell of a lot worse still (very reassuring for a first timer, I'm sure) and sent me home with some painkillers - I got the feeling she thought I was just being a hysterical drama queen.
Saturday, still no sleep, contx still coming, I was still feeling rotten and just sat and cried all day. I was due to go into hospital on Sunday morning anyway to start induction so decided to just try to make it til then because the pain wasn't getting THAT much worse and they had told me not to come back til I couldn't handle it any more.
Sunday morning, 4am, my waters broke. I couldn't see the colour, but they didn't smell particularly strong or anything. Hospital time. Arrive at hospital, 5cm dilated, and the midwives were unhappy with the CTG and I was not allowed to get up off the bed. I had a temperature and my blood test showed signs of infection, so they gave me paracetamol and a fan to try and bring temp down, and started fluids because I was dehydrated, which they thought might be adding to Joe's troubles. I was denied all forms of pain relief for various reasons, despite being absolutely desperate by now since lying on my back really wasn't doing it for me (apparently necessary due to the trace being slightly better when I was on my back than when I was upright)
9am, I was examined again and still 5cm - the rest of the waters went at that point and smelled bad, apparently. The doctor starts talking about a synto drip, totally brushes off my protest that I will rip the needle out of my own arm if he tries to put that devil juice in me without an epidural in place. They decide to watch the trace for a little while as Joe's still not doing good. I lie back and pray for death to put me out of my misery. Trace goes completely mental and it's decided a c-section is required right now, he's born 20 minutes later (suddenly it's ok for me to have a needle in my spine after all)
End result: Eight nights in hospital, Joe in NICU for most of those due to suspected meningitis which was down-graded to 'lung infection' after two lumbar punctures. Seven days of IV antibiotics for him, four for me. Post-natal depression. Official diagnosis, chorioamniotis (not that anyone bothered to tell me or explain what this means - I only found out through reading my hospital notes)
Soooo... fast forward to this time. I would really like my nice, calm waterbirth, and it seems to me the best way to achieve this would be at home - the hospital wants me on continuous monitoring and even if I get them to agree to drop this and 'allow' me to have a waterbirth, I have a strong suspicion that the pool rooms will be 'occupied' when it comes to it. I have no faith that they aren't going to start pressuring me into interventions I don't want. Given that last time was a serious emergency (again, not that they told me this at the time!), and I was still left lying in a room for 20-30 minutes at a time with nothing but a monitor and a panicking husband for company, I feel that I'd receive better monitoring at home with a one-on-one midwife than in hospital with a machine. The consultant seems sympathetic and sorry about the treatment I received last time but at the same time makes me feel as if I'm being selfish and putting my baby at risk by not wanting to be in hospital. She says a homebirth after a c-section would be absolutely no problem, but with my history, she isn't confident that I'm making the right choice.
The risk of chorioamniotis in subsequent pregnancies is only slightly increased if you have had it before. I am not GBS positive. The usual cause of chorioamniotis is a long period of time from waters breaking to delivery - the consultant doesn't seem to believe me when I say my waters broke 5 hours before delivery for the first time, they weren't leaking beforehand and didn't smell bad when they broke. She seems to think my staying at home (like they told me to) made things worse.
The way I see it, the only reason I or baby would be any more at risk than a first time mother is because of the previous c-section, and they already said that in itself wouldn't be reason not to have a HB. I'm 25 minutes from the hospital, and obviously if the labour drags on, if I show signs of problems or if the baby shows signs of being unhappy at any point, I'd be breaking down that hospital door before you can say 'abandon ship'!
Apparently even if I manage to convince the consultant (she wants to see me again on Tuesday to do a CTG so I can see what a healthy one looks like and compare it - I think they think I don't appreciate how serious the situation was last time - and I've to write down my reasons for wishing a HB and she's going to go through my notes from last time properly) I then have to get the head of midwifery to agree and if she says no, I would need to get an independent midwife.
As an alternative, she has suggested a minimal-intervention hospital birth - but if I can have that, why can't I have the same at home where at least I'm guaranteed my pool? She wants me to write a birth plan - cos that worked out SO well last time, obviously.
I just don't know what to think any more. As soon as I start talking about it all, my brain goes to mush and I start to cry and it's hard to try and fight my corner.
If you managed to read through all of that, thank you. If you have any advice or experiences to share, I would be very grateful.
I had a disappointing appointment with my consultant today and it's muddled up my head so I thought I would see if anyone had any similar experiences to help me get my thoughts in order again.
I was originally told a flat out no to a home birth very early on, but when I brought it up with my midwife, she was fully supportive and didn't see a problem at all. She specifically re-arranged today's appointment so that she would be there with me to speak to the consultant - and then she WASN'T!
History: I had Joe 16 months ago. I went into labour at a week overdue (Wednesday evening), contractions 6-15 minutes apart from the get-go. 24 hours after contx started, I phoned the hospital and was told to stay at home until I couldn't take the pain any more.
Friday evening, I was still handling the pain ok but getting tired, having not slept since it all started because it was too sore, and worried because I wasn't feeling great and it all seemed to be dragging on a bit too long. Went to hospital to be examined - 2cm
She told me this was 'the tip of the iceberg' and it was going to get a hell of a lot worse still (very reassuring for a first timer, I'm sure) and sent me home with some painkillers - I got the feeling she thought I was just being a hysterical drama queen. Saturday, still no sleep, contx still coming, I was still feeling rotten and just sat and cried all day. I was due to go into hospital on Sunday morning anyway to start induction so decided to just try to make it til then because the pain wasn't getting THAT much worse and they had told me not to come back til I couldn't handle it any more.
Sunday morning, 4am, my waters broke. I couldn't see the colour, but they didn't smell particularly strong or anything. Hospital time. Arrive at hospital, 5cm dilated, and the midwives were unhappy with the CTG and I was not allowed to get up off the bed. I had a temperature and my blood test showed signs of infection, so they gave me paracetamol and a fan to try and bring temp down, and started fluids because I was dehydrated, which they thought might be adding to Joe's troubles. I was denied all forms of pain relief for various reasons, despite being absolutely desperate by now since lying on my back really wasn't doing it for me (apparently necessary due to the trace being slightly better when I was on my back than when I was upright)
9am, I was examined again and still 5cm - the rest of the waters went at that point and smelled bad, apparently. The doctor starts talking about a synto drip, totally brushes off my protest that I will rip the needle out of my own arm if he tries to put that devil juice in me without an epidural in place. They decide to watch the trace for a little while as Joe's still not doing good. I lie back and pray for death to put me out of my misery. Trace goes completely mental and it's decided a c-section is required right now, he's born 20 minutes later (suddenly it's ok for me to have a needle in my spine after all)
End result: Eight nights in hospital, Joe in NICU for most of those due to suspected meningitis which was down-graded to 'lung infection' after two lumbar punctures. Seven days of IV antibiotics for him, four for me. Post-natal depression. Official diagnosis, chorioamniotis (not that anyone bothered to tell me or explain what this means - I only found out through reading my hospital notes)
Soooo... fast forward to this time. I would really like my nice, calm waterbirth, and it seems to me the best way to achieve this would be at home - the hospital wants me on continuous monitoring and even if I get them to agree to drop this and 'allow' me to have a waterbirth, I have a strong suspicion that the pool rooms will be 'occupied' when it comes to it. I have no faith that they aren't going to start pressuring me into interventions I don't want. Given that last time was a serious emergency (again, not that they told me this at the time!), and I was still left lying in a room for 20-30 minutes at a time with nothing but a monitor and a panicking husband for company, I feel that I'd receive better monitoring at home with a one-on-one midwife than in hospital with a machine. The consultant seems sympathetic and sorry about the treatment I received last time but at the same time makes me feel as if I'm being selfish and putting my baby at risk by not wanting to be in hospital. She says a homebirth after a c-section would be absolutely no problem, but with my history, she isn't confident that I'm making the right choice.
The risk of chorioamniotis in subsequent pregnancies is only slightly increased if you have had it before. I am not GBS positive. The usual cause of chorioamniotis is a long period of time from waters breaking to delivery - the consultant doesn't seem to believe me when I say my waters broke 5 hours before delivery for the first time, they weren't leaking beforehand and didn't smell bad when they broke. She seems to think my staying at home (like they told me to) made things worse.
The way I see it, the only reason I or baby would be any more at risk than a first time mother is because of the previous c-section, and they already said that in itself wouldn't be reason not to have a HB. I'm 25 minutes from the hospital, and obviously if the labour drags on, if I show signs of problems or if the baby shows signs of being unhappy at any point, I'd be breaking down that hospital door before you can say 'abandon ship'!
Apparently even if I manage to convince the consultant (she wants to see me again on Tuesday to do a CTG so I can see what a healthy one looks like and compare it - I think they think I don't appreciate how serious the situation was last time - and I've to write down my reasons for wishing a HB and she's going to go through my notes from last time properly) I then have to get the head of midwifery to agree and if she says no, I would need to get an independent midwife.
As an alternative, she has suggested a minimal-intervention hospital birth - but if I can have that, why can't I have the same at home where at least I'm guaranteed my pool? She wants me to write a birth plan - cos that worked out SO well last time, obviously.
I just don't know what to think any more. As soon as I start talking about it all, my brain goes to mush and I start to cry and it's hard to try and fight my corner.
If you managed to read through all of that, thank you. If you have any advice or experiences to share, I would be very grateful.
. I'm 37 weeks tomorrow, was all set for a HB & then it was detected that I have some excess water so have now been put under a consulatant. I was all set to fight my corner but just cried my eyes out like a baby & now look like a drama queen who cries when she doesn't get her own way.
