Contact with the Father

[Miss406]

Just wondered what everyone's contact arrangements with the Father is, especially newborn babies when they plan on breast-feeding?

My current situation is complicated, I already have 5 children (3 of whom live with their ''father'') and they visit and stay every OTHER weekend.
1 weekend I have all the children together, the other the 'Father' has them all.

This baby is by a different partner.

Would it be reasonable for me to say he is to visit the baby once every TWO weeks (on the weekends I don't have a house-full) and only for 1-2 hours and the baby is to not leave my sight (since I'll be breast-feeding and I am not prepared to supplement with formula).

Obviously when the baby is fully weaned from breast-milk I may re-assess the contact arrangements.

Even when we were together he wouldn't tell his ex wife nor was I introduced to his son, regardless he had repeatedly met my 5 children and formed a relationship with them.

Is it wrong and totally unreasonable for me not to trust him with the child, considering I don't want my son coming in to contact with his ex, of whom he is still rather friendly with?
Am I just jealous?
Do you think it's reasonable for me to invite him into the house for 1-2 hours, every other week, whilst breast-feeding?

Would be grateful for any advice.

 

[teal]

I'm not sure because it doesn't seem like a lot. I suppose it depends on how much he wants to be involved. You've said you don't want the baby out your sight because you're breastfeeding, would you not consider allowing him to spend time with your baby in another room?

If he had a good relationship with your children then I'd not be too concerned about trusting him with his baby.

I hope you manage to come to an arrangement you're happy with x

 

[Mummy1995]

I agree doesn't sound like much. Could he not go maybe 1-2 hrs on a weekday the other week? So you don't have a house full. I understand not wanting to take baby out of sight but my fob was (at birth) a 17 year old boy, yours (I assume) is an adult and who you've pointed out had a child himself already.

But as teal said it really does depend on how much he wants to see the baby too. You may have to compromise on some things x

 

[Miss406]

I think one of my main gripes is the fact he's contributed nothing towards the baby!
He's only come to the private scans I arranged, early scan & 4D. I had to go through the anomaly scan and fetal echo all by myself with no support, I'm having to buy things for the baby again with no support.

He may have a child already and at 29 years of age he is considered an adult but he is still very very immature. He is into the car modification scene and has spent thousands on upgrading his car for performance and power.
Shortly after we fell pregnant (we were still together) he took out a credit card for £3.5 grand, he spent the WHOLE LOT on the car. He's now in a position where he can't afford to pay the rent on his property, he can't afford bills, even struggling with petrol to get to work and back!

Thing is, he can't be bothered now so will he actually be bothered after birth? I don't really want him in the child's life to continually let the child down, we've been let down many times before by a 'maybe I'll pop over tonight' and then he works on the car and apparently gets into trouble with it - I don't want a couple of years down the line to tell the child 'Daddies coming' and then he doesn't show up, it's bad enough he's done that to my children! I've told them that he's coming over, they get excited and then he doesn't show up and leaves them feeling disappointed.

Hard situation, guess I won't know about him being grown up until the babies here and he is going to have to contribute towards his upbringing! x