tink... i really dont wana say this but i feel i have too. This man is CONTROLLING you hunny.
you need to tell him straight what it is that YOU want, not what he wants. If you dont want him at the birth , dont! Explain to the midwives that he is controlling and is BANNED from the room, they will do everytrhing to stop him entering the room, and if that means getting arrested so be it!
You say you are depressed but been off your meds, which is gr8 you have tried! But i think personally, (been here done that!), that you need to stay where you are, with people who actually care bout u (mum n friend), while YOU get better. Be you again.
I really think its a bad idea for you to move away to be with him.
I would also end this "relationship" as i honestly dont think this si a relationship, its more like an abusive relatnioship. where in he tells you what to do , how to do it and when by and you do it!.
He can still see his unborn son but i think it may be SAFER, to use the community centre things, wherein he has to prove himself a father before he is allowed access.
Hope you see sense hun! Really dont want you getting hurt and honestly it looks like this is heading that way xxx