susan_1981
Mummy to 2 boys :)
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Sorry this is probably going to be a long one so I've just highlighted the main concerns and put more detail underneath. My son is 3 years 8 months old. He started going to nursery 5 mornings a week in September. A few weeks back, the manager asked to have a word with me as she had some concerns. Her concerns are:
He doesn't interact with other children
She said that sometimes he'll play alongside the other children, but never with them.
When he's with me, I know that he's not the most sociable of children but he will play with others. Generally it'll be another child that approaches him and then he'll play but other times, I've seen him approach another child. We went to the park the Sunday before the nursery manager flagged these issues and we happened to see a boy that goes to my son's nursery and he kept skirting around us, and I said to my son "does he go to your nursery". My son looked a bit shy but within seconds, he was off playing with this boy for a good hour. They were on their scooters following each other, playing, laughing. Just having fun. When we go to softplay, he'll often play with the other children - especially if there aren't too many there. If there are loads then I don't see him interact with others so much.
He also plays really well with his brother and cousins.
He often just goes into his own world and it is sometimes hard to get his attention
She said that he'll often sit by the doors that lead on to the garden (they're glass doors) and just stare out. Sometimes he'll be playing with something but she says it's almost like he's not there and it can be hard to get his attention.
He does do this at home sometimes - well he doesn't go into his own world if he's not doing anything, but if he's playing a game, I sometimes need to call his name 3 or 4 times to get his attention. But my husband is prone to doing this.
Plays alone
She says that he can spend ages just rolling a car along the floor. He doesn't really play with the other children at all.
Understanding
Sometimes he doesn't seem to understand what is being asked with him.
I don't find this problem at home. He seems to understand most if not all of what I say. My friend decided to do her own little experiment on him at softplay the other week by asking him to put the rubbish in the bin. He picked the rubbish up, looked for the bin, she pointed where it was and he put the rubbish in the bin. Her conclusion was that he's fine
Sometimes speaks out of context
She said that he sometimes says something that, although the sentence makes sense, it isn't relevant to the question he's being asked.
He does this at home but only when he gets frustrated. Like I could say to him "Get your coat on, time to go to nursery" and he might say something like "No 6 minutes" or "Come on, bath time" and he'll say something like "No, I can't, there's no room". This is a relatively new thing though and I don't know if he's picked up this "no room" thing from once when we were at softplay, it was packed and he was getting fed up so wanted to go home and said "there's no room here". I don't know.
Does make eye contact but not as much as they would like
She said he doesn't make that much eye contact.
Never noticed this problem with him. He will hold eye contact, maybe not for a long time but he can hold eye contact for a good few seconds. His eye contact has never been anything I've ever thought was odd.
Doesn't take part in the singing/actions when it's story time
We sometimes get invited back to the last 15 minutes of nursery for story time and I've noticed this. When they do any singing or dance moves (or even clapping), he won't do it. He'll just sit there looking around.
Doesn't really react if another child takes a toy off of him
This one surprised me as he can throw a right strop if his brother or cousin take one of his toys off him.
I just don't know what to think. I've kind of been watching him like a hawk since his nursery brought up these issues. I do know he seems to have problems with having meltdowns. If he doesn't get his own way, he can really kick up a fuss. I got to wondering if maybe there just wasn't anyone at his nursery that he particularly connects with or if he's just too shy to play with others. My husband was always a very shy child and didn't make friends easily.
He doesn't have any obsession with routine although doesn't really like change. An example would be I've always put him in one of those sleeping/growbag things at night since he was a few months old. He would not have covers over him. But the other night, he was sick so couldn't have his sleeping bag so I had to put the covers over him. He was too poorly to make a fuss that night but the next night, he was a bit reluctant to have the cover and wanted his sleeping bag but after that, completely fine. Now goes to sleep with the covers over him. In the summer (I noticed this last year), he didn't want to wear shorts and said to me "no mummy, put these legs away" which did make me laugh but he got used to it. Doesn't like button up shirts as he doesn't usually wear these but he will wear them. Doesn't like a change of shoes - like from lace up trainers or wellies to plimsolls. That kind of thing - although to be fair, the plimsolls rubbed a blister on his foot so I'll let that one go.
His speech is fine - aside from the odd thing he says that, although does make sense, isn't relevant to the conversation - but as I said, this seems to be limited to when he's frustrated (at home anyway).
He seems to be learning quite well too - I don't know much at all about autism so I don't know if this affects that. But he's been learning his phonics at nursery and knows most of them. He can count to around 15. He knows all his letters.
His nursery have said that he's such a good boy, so well behaved and quiet but they are concerned that he will be forgotten about and possibly overlooked in a school setting (he starts school in September). So they are referring him for speech therapy. I have an appointment with my health visitor later this month and she said she'll see if she can see any red flags for any other help he may or may not need and maybe put my mind at rest. She's booked out the whole afternoon for us so I'm guessing this could be quite indepth (but she is also going to do my 2 year old's 27 month check that afternoon).
One thing I did notice today though was that, whenever I ask him what he's done at nursery or who he's played with, I don't usually get a response - or just get "I don't know". Today though, he came out without his jumper on and I asked him why. He said he didn't want it on. Then he told me he had been playing with these 2 other boys (he always says he's been playing with them but I'm not so sure - or whether it's just that they're two names he's picked up) but I know that neither of these 2 wear the nursery jumper so I wondered if maybe he wanted to take it off because the other 2 weren't wearing it? I'm kind of hoping that this is the case as that would mean that at least he's showing an interest in other children.
Does this sound like autism? To me, he is just a sensitive little boy who does have the odd meltdown and is quite shy but he's always hit his milestones on time (generally at the later end of what's considered "normal") but he's still got there in time.
He doesn't interact with other children
She said that sometimes he'll play alongside the other children, but never with them.
When he's with me, I know that he's not the most sociable of children but he will play with others. Generally it'll be another child that approaches him and then he'll play but other times, I've seen him approach another child. We went to the park the Sunday before the nursery manager flagged these issues and we happened to see a boy that goes to my son's nursery and he kept skirting around us, and I said to my son "does he go to your nursery". My son looked a bit shy but within seconds, he was off playing with this boy for a good hour. They were on their scooters following each other, playing, laughing. Just having fun. When we go to softplay, he'll often play with the other children - especially if there aren't too many there. If there are loads then I don't see him interact with others so much.
He also plays really well with his brother and cousins.
He often just goes into his own world and it is sometimes hard to get his attention
She said that he'll often sit by the doors that lead on to the garden (they're glass doors) and just stare out. Sometimes he'll be playing with something but she says it's almost like he's not there and it can be hard to get his attention.
He does do this at home sometimes - well he doesn't go into his own world if he's not doing anything, but if he's playing a game, I sometimes need to call his name 3 or 4 times to get his attention. But my husband is prone to doing this.
Plays alone
She says that he can spend ages just rolling a car along the floor. He doesn't really play with the other children at all.
Understanding
Sometimes he doesn't seem to understand what is being asked with him.
I don't find this problem at home. He seems to understand most if not all of what I say. My friend decided to do her own little experiment on him at softplay the other week by asking him to put the rubbish in the bin. He picked the rubbish up, looked for the bin, she pointed where it was and he put the rubbish in the bin. Her conclusion was that he's fine
Sometimes speaks out of context
She said that he sometimes says something that, although the sentence makes sense, it isn't relevant to the question he's being asked.
He does this at home but only when he gets frustrated. Like I could say to him "Get your coat on, time to go to nursery" and he might say something like "No 6 minutes" or "Come on, bath time" and he'll say something like "No, I can't, there's no room". This is a relatively new thing though and I don't know if he's picked up this "no room" thing from once when we were at softplay, it was packed and he was getting fed up so wanted to go home and said "there's no room here". I don't know.
Does make eye contact but not as much as they would like
She said he doesn't make that much eye contact.
Never noticed this problem with him. He will hold eye contact, maybe not for a long time but he can hold eye contact for a good few seconds. His eye contact has never been anything I've ever thought was odd.
Doesn't take part in the singing/actions when it's story time
We sometimes get invited back to the last 15 minutes of nursery for story time and I've noticed this. When they do any singing or dance moves (or even clapping), he won't do it. He'll just sit there looking around.
Doesn't really react if another child takes a toy off of him
This one surprised me as he can throw a right strop if his brother or cousin take one of his toys off him.
I just don't know what to think. I've kind of been watching him like a hawk since his nursery brought up these issues. I do know he seems to have problems with having meltdowns. If he doesn't get his own way, he can really kick up a fuss. I got to wondering if maybe there just wasn't anyone at his nursery that he particularly connects with or if he's just too shy to play with others. My husband was always a very shy child and didn't make friends easily.
He doesn't have any obsession with routine although doesn't really like change. An example would be I've always put him in one of those sleeping/growbag things at night since he was a few months old. He would not have covers over him. But the other night, he was sick so couldn't have his sleeping bag so I had to put the covers over him. He was too poorly to make a fuss that night but the next night, he was a bit reluctant to have the cover and wanted his sleeping bag but after that, completely fine. Now goes to sleep with the covers over him. In the summer (I noticed this last year), he didn't want to wear shorts and said to me "no mummy, put these legs away" which did make me laugh but he got used to it. Doesn't like button up shirts as he doesn't usually wear these but he will wear them. Doesn't like a change of shoes - like from lace up trainers or wellies to plimsolls. That kind of thing - although to be fair, the plimsolls rubbed a blister on his foot so I'll let that one go.
His speech is fine - aside from the odd thing he says that, although does make sense, isn't relevant to the conversation - but as I said, this seems to be limited to when he's frustrated (at home anyway).
He seems to be learning quite well too - I don't know much at all about autism so I don't know if this affects that. But he's been learning his phonics at nursery and knows most of them. He can count to around 15. He knows all his letters.
His nursery have said that he's such a good boy, so well behaved and quiet but they are concerned that he will be forgotten about and possibly overlooked in a school setting (he starts school in September). So they are referring him for speech therapy. I have an appointment with my health visitor later this month and she said she'll see if she can see any red flags for any other help he may or may not need and maybe put my mind at rest. She's booked out the whole afternoon for us so I'm guessing this could be quite indepth (but she is also going to do my 2 year old's 27 month check that afternoon).
One thing I did notice today though was that, whenever I ask him what he's done at nursery or who he's played with, I don't usually get a response - or just get "I don't know". Today though, he came out without his jumper on and I asked him why. He said he didn't want it on. Then he told me he had been playing with these 2 other boys (he always says he's been playing with them but I'm not so sure - or whether it's just that they're two names he's picked up) but I know that neither of these 2 wear the nursery jumper so I wondered if maybe he wanted to take it off because the other 2 weren't wearing it? I'm kind of hoping that this is the case as that would mean that at least he's showing an interest in other children.
Does this sound like autism? To me, he is just a sensitive little boy who does have the odd meltdown and is quite shy but he's always hit his milestones on time (generally at the later end of what's considered "normal") but he's still got there in time.
