could really do with some advice

[milliew]

Hi Ladies
Im sorry if this is in the wrong place but I really need to talk to people who might understand. Ive been following the forum for awhile now and find your courage and persistence inspiring.
I was diagnosed with PCOS nearly 10 years ago now. At the time the doctor told me that I would find it hard to conceive with a high chance of miscarraige. Then nearly 2 years ago I was diagnosed with endo. I am 27 and have been with OH for over 5 years. I am struggling at the minute. With the PCOS and endo I understand+that+it+is+going+to+be+hard+to+conceive+and+I+am+so+worried+about+it.+OH+says+he+is+not+ready+to+ttc+yet+but+I+just+feel+that+it+would+be+in+our+best+interest+to+start+as+soon+as+possible.+He+said+if+I+felt+really+strongly+about+it+we+will+start+ttc+but+I+obviously+dont+want+to+pressurise+him+and+want+him+to+be+ready+himself+but+what+do+you+think?+Should+we+start+or+am+I+just+being+an+idiot?
I+have+kept+it+all+inside+me+since+I+was+first+diagnosed+with+PCOS.+I+want+a+family+more+than+anything+and+will+be+heartbroken+if+I+cant.+I+just+feel+so+lonely+and+lost.+No+one+understands.+Everyone+just+keeps+saying+to+wait+until+we+try.+Different+gynaes+have+said+start+but+my+OH+just+does+not+understand+and+I+am+struggling+with+this.+Right+now+I+just+want+to+give+myself+the+best+chance.+I+just+NEED+to+know+if+I+will+be+able+to+conceive?+But+I+am+finding+it+so+hard+to+wait+for+him.+Sometimes+I+get+angry+with+him+over+silly+things+just+because.....+Oh+Im+just+a+total+mess.+I+cry+nearly+every+day+now+and+it+is+constantly+on+my+mind.+I+could+really+do+with+some+advice+or+opinions.+Just+anything.....
Thank+you+x

 

[ermm23a]

Are you currently taking birth control pills? Maybe you could go ahead and get off the pill, and yall could just start "not trying to prevent" for a while? Would that idea make him more comfortable?

We waited to TTC until we'd been married almost 5 years and didn't know that we would have any problems whatsoever. I am still young enough not to be considered high risk, but I am much older than I though I would be having my first child.... Looking back, I wish I'd have gotten off the pill much sooner.

 

[milliew]

Thanks ermm and congratulations on your pregnancy Ive been off birth control for 2 years following doctors advice. I just take metformin now. I sometimes think it would be easier if i didnt know about the problems that way i could cope with this now and deal with them after. Right now I am just struggling so much. He just keeps saying that he is not ready. He just doesnt understand how hard it could be for us. I love him and want to wait but i dont think i can. I just feel like we should start so we+can+begin+plans+for+treatment+or+adoption+if+it+comes+to+that.+It+could+be+such+a+long+road+for+us+and+I+just+cant+get+him+to+understand+but+also+dont+want+to+push+him.+But+i+cant+cope+anymore+and+feel+broken+inside

 

[NGRidley]

I suggest also talking to a doctor again and maybe bringing your hubby. Many doctors will not help you conceive until you have been actively TTC for a year which could mean that if it is going to be tough for you to get pregnant, it could still be another year before you get the help you may need

 

[milliew]

Thanks ngridley. I think that is what ill have to do. Thank you both for the advice. It has really made me feel so much better. Just 1 last question, with everything you have been through if you were me would you want/advise me to start asap or would you be happy to wait?

 

[MarsMaiden]

Hi Millie, I'm sorry you are going through such a tough time, it must be really hard for you.

The one thing I would say is that this infertility journey is one of the toughest things I have ever had to go through and I couldn't have done it without my DH being 100% behind me and sharing the whole experience with him. This has almost as much of an impact on his life as it does mine and I feel it is important that he wants to be a parent as much as I do.

It might be worth trying to find out in the first instance whether you are likely to have problems. Although you wouldnt normally get help until you have been ttc for a year you might be able to get some simple blood tests to see if you are ovulating and whether your other hormone levels are normal or not. At least then you would know better whether or not you were likely to have problems and you and your DH can make a better informed choice. Sometimes men just need to be shown the science, otherwise I bet he probably just thinks you'll be fine!

Good luck hun *hugs*