Couldn't bear another grave

[daopdesign]

Sorry I just need a moan. I've been having all kinds of thoughts today like plans for a funeral service and what plot this baby will be in with my other baby

As I'm nearing the end first tri I'm feeling scared because I don't want to go through delivery again. I wish it would just hurry up if something is going to happen

Even if I make it to 38 weeks these thoughts are not leaving me!

 

[Andypanda6570]

Aww don't feel like this. I can't say i know how you feel cause I don't and I know if I do get pregnant again I will be terrified also. You need to believe everything is going to be ok and so is your baby, i just know. I am telling you not to stress but I know how can you not.. Try to relax go for a walk read some positive things, please try to do something. Stress is not good for you or the baby. I can only imagine what you are going through.. I am here for you always if you need to talk whenever whatever time I don't care.
It will be ok try to just think positive and what a thrill it is going to be to hold your little one and how such an inspiration you are to me and all of us, we are longing to be where you are, we all will be ok, I promise XOXOOX

 

[Hellylou]

Aw hun, I am sending big positive wishes and thoughts your way for a completely healthy pregnancy and your perfect little rainbow baby.

I know it's easy to think the worst, and in a way you prepare yourself for that because you want to be ready this time, and not completely caught off guard like before and taken into a world of pain, so I do understand those thoughts you are having. It's the mind's way of protecting you from harm. There really is no real way to stop them, but you know what they are, and you know why they are there. They wont harm your baby. Just recognize those thoughts as your mind protecting you, and focus everything else you have on believing that this time it is going to be ok. Take each day as it comes, try to occupy your mind with other things to keep busy.

I know a pregnancy after something like we have been through is a trial, and we are all here with you every step of the way.

 

[mhazzab]

hiya...I know how you feel. When I found out I was pregnant again, I was so happy, and surprised to find myself feeling quite positive about it. As time goes on, I am getting more nervous and paranoid something will go wrong, I think it is because I can feel myself getting more and more attached to my little Jimminy (don't ask, lol!) as the days go on.

don't really have much advice - just wanted to say you are not alone, and if you ever want to talk, I'm here for you xxx

 

[Nikki_d72]

Aw, huge to you. I hope the feeling shifts soon. xxx

 

[daopdesign]

I feel such an idiot because I know whatever happens will happen and there will be nothing anybody can do so why I'm having thoughts like this I don't know. But your right Hellylou it is the mind protecting me. I do have excitement and joy over this baby but it won't come out, it's like it's stuffed deep inside somewhere and refuses to come out!

I really do think I'm gonna be back here again but we'll see, thanks for listening xxx

 

[Andypanda6570]

I feel such an idiot because I know whatever happens will happen and there will be nothing anybody can do so why I'm having thoughts like this I don't know. But your right Hellylou it is the mind protecting me. I do have excitement and joy over this baby but it won't come out, it's like it's stuffed deep inside somewhere and refuses to come out!

I really do think I'm gonna be back here again but we'll see, thanks for listening xxx

Nooo you wont be back here again , it will be ok..
You had a big loss so of course you are very cautious and you can't be happy cause you you feel like it is setting yourself up for another loss. I get what you are feeling, but try to find some peace and be positive. I am so sorry you are feeling like this, I wish I could hug you..
XOXOOXOOOX

 

[SabrinaKat]

I completely understand how you feel, honey and it's completely normal. I don't think we'll ever relax completely until baby is safe in our arms....but try and be positive, it's hard, but the fear can take over... I have a scan at 24wks on Wednesday and already (and have been feeling this since last appointment 5 wks ago) that I'll get bad news, so please let's both give each other a hug and cross fingers, ok?

best wishes

 

[Andypanda6570]

I completely understand how you feel, honey and it's completely normal. I don't think we'll ever relax completely until baby is safe in our arms....but try and be positive, it's hard, but the fear can take over... I have a scan at 24wks on Wednesday and already (and have been feeling this since last appointment 5 wks ago) that I'll get bad news, so please let's both give each other a hug and cross fingers, ok?

best wishes

Everything will go great on Wednesday... I know it..
XOXOXOXO

 

[Vickieh1981]

Awww sweetie. I was the same in my pregnancy with Sophia. Thinking that I would have to go through another funeral and what I would do differently this time to avoid any regrets.

I never truly believed that I would get to bring her home but she is here and asleep upstairs. You just have to try and believe xxx

 

[Mellybelle]

I was the same in the beginning with this pregnancy. All I could think was 'if its going to happen then at least let it be early' stupidly thinking that I'd be able to cope better if it was early, also that I could get back to TTC my take home baby. I wished and wished for a crystal ball to tell me what was going to happen. I had some scary bleeding at 6 weeks and I was so convinced it was all over. My husband, who is always the optimist, was shocked to see a heartbeat at our early scan and he also ended up in tears.
To help us feel more positive about this baby we started buying a little 'baby celebration gift' each week. Even if it were something small like a pair of socks or a photo frame. I was still so worried every day (and still am), but i think it really did help us to bond with our baby, which I knew was going to be difficult.

 

[daopdesign]

Well yesterday I had my first midwife apt and it was the same woman who kinda ignored my concerns last time! Anyway I know we can't say that the spotting at 13 weeks was anything as that can be common.

Anyway we had a very lengthy chat and she understands how I feel so I have made the decision not to do the booking in (where you get your green book and notes and stuff) until after my dating scan at 13 weeks. I'll then be referred to the hospital and not see community midwife again.

Just taking each day as it comes x

 

[yazoo]

Oh babe I don't know how you feel yet as I am not pregnant but I can certainly imagine what you are thinking and how you are feeling. The naivety regarding pregnancy is gone forever for all of us and we are so aware of the world of loss that pregnancy will never be the same again. You will take this sweet little baby home, you will get to cuddle it and kiss its little button nose & sing lullabys to it. You are in my thoughts.

 

[daopdesign]

Your right, experincing a loss especially in 2nd tri and 3rd tri completely changes the way you feel during pregnancy. It feels like you can't get your hopes up for all those dreams and happy thoughts to be smashed and gone forever. I was so excited last time, couldn't believe I'd managed to even get pregnant without the Clomid. My first natural pregnancy and he gets taken from me

This is why I didn't want the books and stuff as last time I had to shove all the scan photos and paperwork to the back of a cupboard because it hurt like hell to look at them.

 

[KamIAm]

I'm just sending you some loves and cuddles your way.... Prayers of comfort and peace coming your way as well...

I can't say I know what your going through, cuz I don't... I do know, that once I get my Rainbow, I'm sure I'll be in the same boat as you and all the others... Scared to death... So, I have no advice or wisdom to pass... Just support and compassion ..

Hang in there Sweetie ... Try to keep breathing and listen to the doctor's as well as your body ...

 

[Mellybelle]

I, too was careful not to book anything too far in advance and the midwives were very understanding. I also asked to be seen in the high risk clinic, (even though I'm not considered high risk in Australia) and was seen more frequently for check ups. I had extra scans when I asked for them.
Make sure your midwife/Dr etc understand your fears and how anxious you are and they'll do whatever it takes to help you feel calmer.

 

[Nikki_d72]

Oh Huge hugs to you, I don't klnow how you feel yet either but will support you in any way I can. I can imagine how hard it is for you. It will feel good to be dealing with different people than last time, I can imagine. It would be hard to have faith in the MW who dismissed your instincts last time. All the best to you. xxx