My ex and I broke up when LO was 10 months. She's 18 months now. She is in my name and we have never lived together and she has never stayed at his home. We broke up because he text me threatening to kill me after a nasty argument, the agreement was for hi. To seeger twice a week for the day. Over Christmas he became paranoid that I had a new boyfriend and assumed it was a colleague of mine, he threatened to smash his glasses without taking them off his face and has been verbally aggressive in a number of texts. On both occasions I we t to the police to have it logged. As time went on he got a new job 8-6 weekdays so asked to have LO every other weekend, I agreed but said no to staying over as she is too young and it would confuse her. I also said, as I do have my child's best interests at heart that he could come to my house twice a week to see her and put her to bed. He has since stopped doing that for the past month and has now become threatening towards me again, I've told him he is not to come to my house unless it is his weekend and he is picking her up or I will phone the police. He is now threatening g me with court as he seems to think he could get joint custody, is this likely to happen? I'm terrified of him, I fear he's stalking me and if and when I meet someone new he will become a danger to myself and my new partner. Please help me.
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Court... Help?
- Thread starter Missh22
- Start date
I don't have any experience in this. But I definitely think you going to the police about the aggression towards you is a very good idea. You will have something on record about his behaviour. I would think the courts would only give him supervised visits but I don't really know. Just be sure to keep a record going with the police about any negative behaviour he has towards you. And if you can save any texts that you do get from him.
I think you should talk to a lawyer about your concerns. And I think that you should take him to court and not wait for him to do it. Because you are concerned for yours and your daughters safety. I think it would look better if you initiated court proceedings rather then waiting.
But that is just my opinion.
I think you should talk to a lawyer about your concerns. And I think that you should take him to court and not wait for him to do it. Because you are concerned for yours and your daughters safety. I think it would look better if you initiated court proceedings rather then waiting.
But that is just my opinion.
I do keep a record, if he threatens me once more (which he will) I'm going to press charges. The only reason I haven't so far is so my daughter can have her dad in her life but it's getting to the point where I am being taken for a doormat. Thank you for the advice it really does mean a lot 
I've been debating taking him to court really but I would hate for him to get her two nights and three days a week. I just don't see how that is stable for a baby or specially when she is in bed for seven and doesn't get up til eight the next day.
I'm definitely going to see a solicitor though, how much does court proceedings cost? X
I've been debating taking him to court really but I would hate for him to get her two nights and three days a week. I just don't see how that is stable for a baby or specially when she is in bed for seven and doesn't get up til eight the next day.
I'm definitely going to see a solicitor though, how much does court proceedings cost? X
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Britney91
Guest
I know what you're going through and can definitely relate however with the courts it is a long lengthy process and they will try and avoid court if they can. They'll first refer you both to mediation and if nothing is agreed it will then go to court. As there is threats on his side that you can prove he will deny them and you may have to attend a finding of fact hearing depending on how strong your evidence is, but they see it that it's your job to prove hes guilty not his to prove he's innocent.
You have concerns for your safety which they won't care that much about they only care about the interests of the child however if you can get proof from your GP or better than that a psychologist of what the stress threats and fears are doing to you that is then affecting your daughter and clearly not in her best interests. They'll probably then get cafcass involved who to be honest are a total waste of time.
My court case took 2 and a half years which he got bored of by the end and gave up fighting for joint custody and settled with supervised contact every fortnight because like most dads thinks they'll automatically grant it them and he doesn't even turn up to them now.
I recently got the breakdown of my court costs and it came to just over £6000 so it is very costly however I had help as I was on a low income however I was told that they no longer offer legal aid for child contact and custody battles for the mother unless domestic violence or abuse is involved although I've not looked into this so I'm not sure if they did make that change or not.
Hope this helps xx
You have concerns for your safety which they won't care that much about they only care about the interests of the child however if you can get proof from your GP or better than that a psychologist of what the stress threats and fears are doing to you that is then affecting your daughter and clearly not in her best interests. They'll probably then get cafcass involved who to be honest are a total waste of time.
My court case took 2 and a half years which he got bored of by the end and gave up fighting for joint custody and settled with supervised contact every fortnight because like most dads thinks they'll automatically grant it them and he doesn't even turn up to them now.
I recently got the breakdown of my court costs and it came to just over £6000 so it is very costly however I had help as I was on a low income however I was told that they no longer offer legal aid for child contact and custody battles for the mother unless domestic violence or abuse is involved although I've not looked into this so I'm not sure if they did make that change or not.
Hope this helps xx
Thank you so much for that help and advice. He works for the same company I do and I've been signed off with stress since January because of the fear of running into him. Would that count?
I really cannot thank you enough for the advice you've given me, I feel like I can see light at the end of the tunnel. I have police reports and I've kept all of his texts. I think he has some sort of mental instability, but I would never be able to prove it.
I'm back in the doctors next week so I will be asking for a psychologist to evaluate me. I fear every time my phone goes invade its him kicking off and have taken to barely going out inches I see him, I'm 21 for crying out loud I should not feel like this!
Xxx
I really cannot thank you enough for the advice you've given me, I feel like I can see light at the end of the tunnel. I have police reports and I've kept all of his texts. I think he has some sort of mental instability, but I would never be able to prove it.
I'm back in the doctors next week so I will be asking for a psychologist to evaluate me. I fear every time my phone goes invade its him kicking off and have taken to barely going out inches I see him, I'm 21 for crying out loud I should not feel like this!
Xxx
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Britney91
Guest
Yeah you're incapable of working and I know I was the same for ages and it caused me alot of stress. And what's affecting you affects your child. Getting your health visitor involved will help too mine came to court to give evidence.
No you shouldn't I'm 21 too and I try to never leave my house out of fear and it's awful.
I hope it all gets better soon hun hugs xx
No you shouldn't I'm 21 too and I try to never leave my house out of fear and it's awful.
I hope it all gets better soon hun hugs xx
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Britney91
Guest
If you look in babies reed book there should be a number if not your GP should have it on yours or your childs medical records. Just give them a call and ask if it's possible for a visit and then explain everything that's been going on xxx
