Crying myself to sleep

[millianaire]

Every night u wait for my partner to fall asleep before I cry, I cry coz I just came of provera an there is no signs of period, I cry coz I feel so broken an hopeless, I'm laying in bed now just wondering if there will a day when I don't feel like a failure because my body is letting me down as a women? I don't know why an what to do there is only so much one can take an I really just want to give up an b destined to a miserable bitter women around anyone who has children because I'm jealous sorry all just feel like shit an lonely an tired of all this

 

[wonderstars]

I think a lot of us feel like this a lot of the time. You definitely aren't alone. I wish I could give some inspiring words.

 

[hopefull85]

Every night u wait for my partner to fall asleep before I cry, I cry coz I just came of provera an there is no signs of period, I cry coz I feel so broken an hopeless, I'm laying in bed now just wondering if there will a day when I don't feel like a failure because my body is letting me down as a women? I don't know why an what to do there is only so much one can take an I really just want to give up an b destined to a miserable bitter women around anyone who has children because I'm jealous sorry all just feel like shit an lonely an tired of all this

there is nothing any of us can say to you that can make you feel better. i know excatly how you feel. my husband and i are at the 5 year mark. and i have people all around me pregnant ( family and friends ) ALL YOUNGER THAN ME and mostly on their second child and here we are DH and i 26 & 38 and havent even had one. i have never had a BFP nothing of any sort. i cry everyday it never goes away EVER. i am to that point of thinking well its never going to happen and im just tired. so i know exactly how you feel if you ever want to talk to someone other than in a thread you can private message me im always here.

 

[wannabemummyb]

Millianaire, asthe others have said there is nothing truly inspiring that i can say. The only thing i can say is that i totally understand. This week has been a bit like that for me. Itdoesn't help that it is mothers day today does it?

I feel doubly broken because oh has a son already (19 and lives with us)

If you need to talk, just pm me xxx

 

[valerie1708]

Hi!

There are soo many of us feeling the same way, honey. Hopeless, tired, fearful ... but then maybe you just need a little break from TTC. It helps to see things through and make a plan. I've never been pg, and has been trying for over 3 years now. When I feel down (and it happens more often than I'd like), I just try to think of something else, occupy myself with new things (i.e. crafts, books, pc games) and switch from being hysterical into something else. I even got natural remedy to help me calm down coz otherwise I fear I'd be down with a depression. It doesn't help when you cry, worry and stress. It can prevent you from having a baby. Try and relax, maybe do meditation, take a long warm bath, watch a nice movie and just for one day forget that you are not yet a mother ... just be yourself as a person, as a wife etc ... rest and then you will be able to make a new plan for new cycle and feel more positive!

Stay strong and take care x

 

[Madgirl]

I understand!

 

[jessandaj]

I get those feelings that im always just gunna be some miserable women who hates on women and even there children because im so jealous and bitter and i dont wanna be like that its not me but it all hurts so bad inside that you cant help it, so anyways hope af comes and it all works out and you get pregnant very soon

 

[millianaire]

thankyou girls your all very amazing and im not sure how u do it, im struggling so much to keep my head aove the water and not drown in my feelings, i wish i knew what was waiting for me but no one can tell teh future so guess i have to wait just seems to be all im doing lately coz even though provera is finished im now waiting for a period i cant believe i want one so bad from all the years ive been complaining about it true what they say u dont know what u got until its gone thankyou again everyone but im stll not feeling positive but i am taking ur comments into my thoughts xx

 

[Feisty Fidget]

I don't think there is a day that goes by where a LTTTCer feels like this

 

[jessandaj]

I wish i could get a glimpse of the future to just to know if i will ever have a baby and it sounds silly cause its like of course you will somehow right but idk that the thing if were infertile then treatment things cost tons of money and adoption well that takes years i just want it to be natural and i just wonder why it has not happend yet for me when others are getting pregnant all over

 

[Kimiw]

Every night u wait for my partner to fall asleep before I cry, I cry coz I just came of provera an there is no signs of period, I cry coz I feel so broken an hopeless, I'm laying in bed now just wondering if there will a day when I don't feel like a failure because my body is letting me down as a women? I don't know why an what to do there is only so much one can take an I really just want to give up an b destined to a miserable bitter women around anyone who has children because I'm jealous sorry all just feel like shit an lonely an tired of all this

Oh hun I completely understand how you are feeling . Me and my husband have been trying for 6 years and nothing has happend. I find myself crying at night because I feel so hopless that I will ever have a child of my own. It makes it even harder because its me, I have PCOS and a genetic mutation called MTHFR and both contribute to infertility. My husband has been checked and he is good so it weighs on me like I am failing my husband. I know that is not how he feels and he is a wonderful and supportive man but I can't help but feel like I am failing him because I can't give him a child. We thought about adoption but that is damn near impossible with all the waiting, the money, and plus we want our own. I know it sounds selfish but thats how it is. All my friends have kids, every one of them and not just one but some even have four kids and they are either the same age as me or much younger. I get jealous, and I feel bad because I know its not fair to my friends because they have wonderful kids and I should be happy for them. When one of my friends announce a pregnancy on facebook I feel instant jealously and quite honestly, I have to seperate myself from it for a while. How selfish is that? It takes me a few weeks to even say congrats. Sometimes I feel like the world is moving forward and I am at a stand still. I get very depressed some days that I don't care about things I should be caring about, work, school, bills. Im not saying I ignore them but some days life just feels so empty and dull that those things don't seem to matter. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that your not alone, not by a long shot. That is why I love this website because there are women here I can talk to who understand what I am going through.


You don't need to feel bad about being jealous, or sad because many of us ltttc couples are going through this too and feel much the same way you do. Some days are better than others and the sun pushes its way through the clouds but most days are gloomy. I get tired of my friends and family telling us that we are trying too hard and we just need to relax because then it will happen....if this had only been a year I might see that but after 6 years you know that "relaxing" is not the issue. We stopped ttc for 2 years and still nothing happend and during that 2 years we were care free and didn't even think about kids infact we thought we would be better off not having kids because they are expensive anyway. But 2 years later we started to feel the longing for a child again. Its going to be a struggle that will never just go away. Sorry for the long post but I know how your feeling and I am feeling it too. I hope and pray that all of us ltttc women will find that path to motherhood very soon. baby dust to all! And you know, when it finally does happen, we are going to be the BEST mothers of all because we will appreciate that speacial gift more that the woman who gets pregnant at the drop of a hat would because it will truly be a gift that took many years to recieve.

 

[godskid]

i ll be 3 years ttc in June ... and i too hate it when someone sympathizes me and asks me to relax... its very easy for people to say that ...
today is CD3 for me , i feel soo blank i ve tried every other thing than IVF only because IVF is not affordable for us ...
feeling so lost these days ... i pray to god to bring back the positive me ...
all prayers ladies ..

 

[Loulu711]

Wow, whilst my heart fully goes out to all of you it is in some bizzare way reassuring to read that i am not the only one and im not going crazy. Everyday i cry and wonder when it will be my turn to annouce that finally after over 4 years of trying i can become a mum. I want it more than life itself and worry how i will cope if we dont get excepted for IVF (application going through now) or if it doesnt work. I fear for my sanity i really do.
My friends are fabulous and supportive and i love them all to bit but as they all have children many more than one, i feel they cant really understand my heartache at not being able to do what i feel is supposed to be the easiest thing for a woman to do!!!
I got told by my doctor i was over weight and that is a factor in not being able to fall (im a size 12 and about 11st but with a high BMI) and ive become extremly bitter when i see women much larger than me with children. its awfeul cause i really am not a nasty person but when you get told these things and youve been trying for so long your jealousy takes a horrible turn for the worst. I want that to stop too cause once that wave of nasty jealousy leaves i smile at them as im so happy for them and what they have.
I sympathise with all of you reading this in the same situation and i wish all of you the best of luck as i totally know what your going through and how much it means to you all.
much love and good luck. xx

 

[Armywife84]

Sorry, dear. I wish had words to make the pain go away. Also, a magic wand I can wave to give you, me, and every LTTCer on here a viable pregnancy.