CSA called me

[Dezireey]

So my loser ex (who is also incredibly stupid) has not responded to CSA's calls and letters at all. What a bonehead. They will now deduct money from his wages for my LO. They called me this morning to tell me that the progress mentioned in a text I recieved was about them contacting his employer to take money out of his wages. I'm glad the CSA I am dealing with means business!.

I am, on the other hand dreading it when he sees what they have done (i.e looks at his wage slip) I hope that he doesn't even consider trying to contact me. I have now developed panic attacks whenever I think I have any contact with him or even CSA, it stresses me out so much that this is what is happening now. I guess its months of being lied to and emotional blackmail from him and finding out horrible stuff about someone I thought I knew well etc.

I just hope he doesn't do a bunk and leave his job or something equally drastic.This will give me good closure and I guess a bit of revenge if he ends up paying what he should have paid from the start

 

[babycrazy1706]

thats great news!!!
he's gonna get a big shock when he sees his payslip
he prob thought ignoring the csa would make it go away. what a fool!!
really happy for you!!
try not to worry, he cant do anything.
time for you to just sit back and gloat Xx

 

[Dezireey]

Oh I hope it will turn out like that. Last year, when we were on speaking terms he rabbited on for ages about living abroad, then I vaguely remember him saying he had left his current job (which I thought nothing of at the time) but I saw him at his place of work a few weeks later and questioned him on it. He said 'oh, they moved me to another department'. Looking back I can see the bigger picture. He was probably on tenterhooks every five minutes about me contacting the CSA and finding out the truth about his previous child and having more money taken out of his wages. I wish CSA could tell me more but because of Data Protection they can't. Like..is this child really a child he fathered 12 years ago? or is it more recent? (who knows the man is a liar anything is possible) also, was he actually paying any child support to this other kid and I have stirred the pot so to speak and he is now paying up for two?. Lots of questions that will go unanswered. I guess that's what happens when you were in a relationship with a compulsive liar. You don't know what is or was truth or fiction.

Cross fingers. lets hope they get him where it hurts and he may think twice before trampling over other peoples lives again.

 

[babycrazy1706]

oh god i didnt know your ex had a secret child!!?? my ex has an 8yr old but ive known all along. have you got a journal or a thread on here explaining it all?? (look at me being all nosey) Xx

 

[Dezireey]

Yep, there is a thread on here about it. He more or less told me (when I told him I was pregnant) after 3 years together, that years ago he had a son, whose mother left them, then he raised the boy alone until he died aged 5. I found out three weeks ago from CSA that this child is alive and obviously living with his mother ( they were chasing my ex for child support or he was already paying it? - not sure really, they couldnt say too much.

So basically my ex said he couldn't cope with having another child after everything he had gone through and the pain of losing his son........ all .......a....bag.....of ......LIES!

He needs to see a shrink as far as i am concerned.

 

[babycrazy1706]

WOW!



I'll go and have a look for it now. Xx

 

[Ceejay123]

Good! That's brilliant and he got what he deserved when he reacts.. Ignore him!, just like he ignored them. X

 

[Dezireey]

Part of me wants to unblock his number from my phone, just to have the pleasure of seeing his number come up and just ignore him LOL. He ignored me many times, especially when I kept on asking him nicely to help out or contribute in some way amicably. I hope he just looks at his wage slip and goes 'WTF?' then panics like hell because he obviously can't call the other mother ( she already had a case with CSA ) and now he knows he cant really call me either as I would put the phone down on him!

Justice prevails ( hopefully!)

 

[lemontree12]

wow amazing news so glad they finally got it together and made that waster pay up. i think his employer (hr department) may let him no but who cares, finally he is facing up to his responisblity wether he likes it or not.

i suffered from panic attacks when fob and i first split and was very panicy when lo was first born fearing someone may break into my home. i know you have dogs? how about home security? just little things that might make you feel safer?

 

[kassiaethne]

woot that is some fantastic news, especially so quickly. I can't blame you about wanting to unblock his number just to have the satisfaction of knowing he's now having to suffer with you ignoring him. But if it would cause you to much stress or maybe you'd cave and pick up. but personally I'd totally enjoy the justice

 

[Dezireey]

I wonder if its all gone so quickly because he was already on their database with his other child? i did think this would take forever but looks like just another few weeks and I may see some results.This last year, he has basically pulled out all the stops to prevent me from contacting CSA to stop me finding out the truth about his other child and of course stop me from getting money off him.

He once said to me ' i have no family, no friends, no-one who cares, you are all i have' Now I know why he has no-one. Treat people in such an appalling manner and they will not stick around and they will give you grief! Its like he has thought me totally unreasonable to complain at all about what he did. What a total tosser. He is getting what he deserves now.

 

[babycrazy1706]

have they told you how much you will get weekly?? and will he have to back pay? Xx

 

[Dezireey]

They haven't said anything yet. i will request back pay though. i know I won't get back pay immediately as I know what job he has and that he is not well off ( one fact that is truth) he would be left with nothing if they did all that. CSA won't take every scrap of wage off a man every month. They have to live and of course they need things like money for petrol to get to work in the first place!. Just hope I get to see the money he owed me from the start, more out of principle than anything.

 

[babycrazy1706]

Yeh deffo! Hopefully you will. Fingers crossed! Xx