CSA

[babyndme]

I know there is alot of thread's on this about csa, but i really need some advice.

FOB an I have agreed that he gives me 100 a month, but he has only got a job and wont recieve his first wages until the end of October, witch by then LO will be 7weeks, witch meens FOB has lost 7weeks of payment. But will not pay it, because he says thats he's in debts and all that, but its not LO's fault is it? What should i do?? Any advice are much apriciated! xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[ineedaseed]

mmm, difficult one, maybe suggest he pays you an extra £50 per month until he clears the money he owes to you xx

 

[lilyd]

could he not give you maybe an extra £10 or £20 a month until the arrears are paid?

 

[isil]

so you have a private arrangement? If I was you I'd go through CSA. I had a private arrangement with Ally's dad...7 months since we've split and I've received £0 so far! That's even with CSA chasing him. Sigh!

 

[woadie]

Hmmmm I wondered about private vs a CSA arrangement... I've heard bad tales about the CSA but I've read worse ones about When Fathers Go Bad (and decide to mess you about with payments)...

I can't tell you either way which one to go for but if he's already messing you about with the money, well you will know what FOB is like....is he honourable enough to stick to his agreement on payment? If you have any doubts, it might be an idea to consider the CSA, it might save you a lot of messing about.... or at least have your CSAapplication on 'stand by' if he doesn't come good with the payments and not give him umpteen chances....

 

[tinkabells]

Mmmm i would ask if he can make extra payments, but i know you can inform csa with private payments, but i would say see how it goes, cos csa is normally a last result?! xxx

 

[babyndme]

I have got a csa form on stand by, i might just wait till he does get paid first then if i dont recive any money i will go through csa, its the only choice i have! did i mention aswell that he said that he wants a recipt of evrything i buy for LO!

 

[tinkabells]

No way, tell him his a loser for wanting reciepts that would go on forever, considereing how much things cos and we constantly have to buy things for them xxx

 

[babyndme]

I know, i try not to argue with him for LO's sake, but when he's being like this i can't help it. I dont think he understands what it mean's to be a dad, and how much evrything costs! He has only been to see him 4 times in the past 3weeks, i asked the reason for this and he just said because LO is a newborn and there is nothing he can do!!! aaaarrrghhh just keep's getting me stressed! xxxx

 

[McLovin]

I would go through CSA immediately. If you did give him receipts, he'd soon realise £100 per MONTH, is not nearly enough. I kinda wish my FOB wasn't bothered about my LO - I'd love to never have to see him again (I know this sounds selfish as better for baby to have a father - but if you knew him you'd understand!)
x

 

[babyndme]

Thats how i feel, nd now the LO has become a real mummy's boy, even tho he's only 3weeks, and FOB says its my fault!! Even tho he's only been 2 see him 4 times!! xxx

 

[xxannxx]

OMG, i can't believe some men!!! I was actually going to say maybe give him a chance this time and see how it goes next wage, but then read your post avout him wanting receipts!!!! I now say you should go through CSA without waiting. Yes, it can take a long time, and theres a lot the men can do to wiggle out of it, but i'd say from experience its your best bet. If LO is only few weeks and he's already putting debts before maintenence then looks like he could be a hard one to get the money off. As for giving him receipts, do these men not realise that as well as feeding them, clothing them, getting them toys, prams, car seats, walkie chairs, highchairs, cots beds, etc, etc, we also have to keep a roof over their heads and make sure that there is heating and lighting????? Sorry it just makes me sooo angry.

And McLovin don't feel bad i feel the exact same!!!

 

[purpledahlia]

tbh.. he probably doesnt know or realise how much things for a baby cost, so he probably feels like he wants to know what your buying and to be sure hes not giving too much money (not that i think he is or anything, but this is probably how he sees it) Soooo id indulge him fro a few weeks, save the reciepts.. nappies, wipes, everything, a precent of the heating bill, the washing machine (electirc bill) EVERYTHING, and once he sees your prob spending double what hes offering he might realise and pay more... If not then you can just say ive shown you them now what was your point? he cant expect you do to that for the next 18 years.. and the cost is gonna go up now down.. He sounds like a typical guy and doesnt like giving money away. but thats his tough luck.
also i think you should just contact the CSA anyways.