D-day tomorrow

[sonny]

Ok all well we had a rocky start with the breast feeding etc and my supply due to time in special care etc so was breastfeeding and topping up as recommended.
Tomorrow the boys go to their mums for 2 weeks so perfect time for me just to concentrate on tabs and exclusively breast feeding.
Got the all clear to do so from the HV if i want to so am just on here for a few pointers.....
I was using the nipple shield things before as my nipples were so small but they have grown and she can now latch on them well.

Right the thing is i havn't been shown how to Bf and positions etc so have just been reading online and looking at pics. I just got a 2 mins pointer by a special care dr. All the pics etc have babies head vertical to the breast.....is this right?? as Tabs latches on totally horizontally,is this ok??? someone said about eye contact but i dont get that in the position we do. The special care dr said why would you make a baby tilt her head to drink if we wouldnt so said hori was ok??? sorry getting technical now lol.
she seems to get milk as i see it round her mouth etc after but i read a few posts about milk squirting out when baby moves.....i definately dont get this but maybe its because my supply isnt there yet?

Ok if anyone can help with the position question that would be great but also how shit is the next few days going to be? i mean how often will she need feeding so i know the signs as im still trying to work out all her types of cries for different things which mostly is just wanting to be held etc.

Also what can i do to help myself while im going through this?

Also am i stupid to do this? as she sleeps well through the night only waking once at around 4am.

Oh and the other question,Tabs always gets so eager for boobie that she fights me,hands flailing everywhere,in front of her mouth etc. I find it hard wrestling with a now 11lb 3oz baby trying to hold her head and shoulders,get her hands out the way and hold me boob tight all at the some time!!! any pointers?

Wish me luck

 

[sonny]

oh and fir those who already are exclusively bf'ing. How long do your LO's go for when you are out and about?
See tabs has such a LOUD scream i get embarrassed like everyone is staring and thinking what am i doing wrong so i always have a bottle to hand and feed her on demand wherever we are in a shop,park etc. how do others manage?

 

[Emmea12uk]

i have no pointers but wish you luck! i am in the same boat ! i am going to pop along to a breast feeding class to get some help.

 

[Tezzy]

firstly i want to wish you good luck!

i wouldnt mind too much about the position, if that is how she is comfortable feeding then theres nothing you can do about it really. have you tried lying down on a bed and feeding her that way? thats how i feed Ffion.

When we are out and about Ffion will sleep as long as the pram is being pushed, i often pop into mothercare to feed her because they have a feeding room. if im not anywhere near mothercare i just sit on a bench and Breastfeed, i have lots of 'descreet nursing' tops.

To help yourself what i would do is rest plenty, drink plenty and just take it one feed at a time. If Tabs crys and you feel frustrated just swaddle her, rock her, put a dummy in her mouth and say 'Shhh' into her ear... it will calm her down within seconds and then you can try latching her on again.

 

[clairebear]

hey hun wanted to wish u luck!!!

i thnik with postion as long as u and bubs are comfortable and she is latching on well then dont worry tomuch. jack mostly feeds looking towards my armpit but occasionally will feed looking up at me.

when we are out and about i will feed him when he wants it regardless of where we are. in my town centre there are lots of nursing rooms and benches i carry a swaddling cloth with me to drape over jack to be discreet but i dont hide it and im not worried what others think its the most natural thing in the world and be proud that u can give ur baby something so special xx

 

[Samantha675]

You also might look for someone involved with the La Lecha League in your area. The are fantastic help with BF'ing. It is mother to mother support, so they know what you are going through.

Again, as long as you are both comfortable, and Tabs is latching on well, don't worry about positions. I pretty much just get Bren on the boob and he goes for it.

Yes, lots of water, good food and rest is important. Resting really helps with supply, so don't skip a nap to clean house, it can wait a bit.

Bren will feed anywhere from 5 minutes up to 30, just depends on how hungry he is and how long it has been since he last fed. I just follow his lead.

As for being out. I just pop a blanket over us, or a nursing cover and go for it. The first time is the hardest, but now I will feed him anywhere.

 

[Ragirl]

First off- Good luck and kudos to you for trying!!!!! As long as she is latching on okay, I wouldn't worry about positions. Maybe once you have things going well you can experiement- being able to bf from several positions is helpful in case you ever get an infection. I was shown how to do the laying in bed position a million times by nurses/consultants and couldn't get it. It took me months of experiementing at home to finally figure out what worked for us. And the fact she doesn't squirt milk is fine- some babies/boobs do and some don't. My supply was great and I never even saw milk around my son's mouth- I guess he just didn't let any go to waste

My preference is always to prepare for the worst so that I don't get as frustrated. So let's just say that yes, the next few-5 days will be complete shit. But do not let this deter you- just prepare for it and know it is not going to last forever (even when it feels like it will). Whatever you can do that helps you feel peaceful- get that stuff in place before you do this- get some movies, get some beer (btw, although this is a debated subject, many mw's say a beer/glass of wine helps milk come in and/or helps mom relax so milk can come in. So if this is something you like, get some in the fridge), stock up on bath supplies...whatever. And then settle in for a few days. The key here is that if you begin to stress or get exhausted, it will effect your supply. So you need to be able to keep yourself calm. As for how often to feed her, when I was trying to get my supply up, my theory was always if he's crying, my boob is in his mouth (which reminds me- get some lanolin for your nipples as they might get a little sore with the increased feeding. Start putting it on after every feed).

As for her flailing- not sure there is much you can do. It sounds like she just really likes the boobies Perhaps when she is getting it more she won't be quite so excitable about it. But also, as you nurse her more, you will become more adept at managing all those things at once.

You are not stupid to be doing this at all. Bf babies do tend to wake up more frequently to eat (but not all do- she may still sleep through the night). If you practice the laying down to feed position this week, it would allow you to feed her and sleep if she begins waking more. It took me a long time to figure this position out, but since you will have 2 weeks, just practice, practice, practice. Also, in terms of taking care of yourself, make sure you are getting rest when she is- really spend lots of time on the couch/in bed with skin-to-skin contact, dozing, feeding whenever she wants.

Good luck to you and we are here for support whenever you need it!!! GO TABS AND MOMMY GO...YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!

{I forgot to add...part of keeping your sanity through this is to keep an open mind. If it does not for some reason work, that's okay too. The great thing is that you TRIED- so don't start putting all this pressure on yourself that you have to do it or your a terrible mother. Give it a go and hope for the best!}

 

[Serene123]

When Caitlyn first came off the bottle she was on me ALLLLLLLL day everyday, but sleeping at night.

She isn't fussed on positions either. She's laid here on her back with her head tilted to the side and I'm on my side leaning over her typing.

 

[Ragirl]

oh and fir those who already are exclusively bf'ing. How long do your LO's go for when you are out and about?
See tabs has such a LOUD scream i get embarrassed like everyone is staring and thinking what am i doing wrong so i always have a bottle to hand and feed her on demand wherever we are in a shop,park etc. how do others manage?

My son only went every 2-3 hours. One thing you could do if it made you more comfortable would be to sit down and feed her before she starts crying. So if you know she's going to be ready to eat in 2 hours, at 1h50min start feeding her. Having the right clothing and/or covers helps also.

 

[Emmea12uk]

great advice girls!! How is it going so far sonny??

 

[Margerle]

https://www.drjacknewman.com/video-clips.asp

Awesome site for bf videos. And tips for problems

The others have said everything I would have, so I'll just say good luck to you! And congrats on going exclusive!

I would add, that as LO is 2 months old and we've been BF exclusively since birth, I take one feed with me in a bottle in case we get stuck somewhere I cannot feed her for whatever reason.

Baby still feeds about 20-30 mins, but that's a sight better than the 45-70 minutes she was feeding 4 weeks ago.

I will also offer a drink to baby prior to her getting fussy to avoid the public display I just pick a bench somewhere out of the way and go for it, or do it in my vehicle. (I do this a lot).

 

[Emmea12uk]

My car is my saviour! no matter where i am i can feed him in comfort and listen to my radio!

 

[Ragirl]

So????? How is it going???

 

[sonny]

So????? How is it going???

Excuse the pun.......IT WENT TITS UP!!!

I tried and i tried on that first day but tabs was constantly screaming and stuck to my boob but throwing paddy fits because nothing was coming out,then with the screaming it was affecting her reflux and flappy larynx and kept choking where she was so upset to the point the choking stopped her breathing.....so NOT A GOOD START!! i caved in that night and gave her a bottle which she finished in 2 mins flat!
So now im pissed off and feel like a complete failure. She is still having boobie as much as possible but i do need to top her up with a bottle of 4oz.
It also seems i only hear her swallowing when she is on my boobie in the morning which makes me wonder if it doesnt come out at other times?
I have only ever been able to express a world record of 30mls/1 oz.

To top it off i got that baby whisperer book everyone is raving about and it contradicts itself in there and offers differing advice about how to get supply up so now i dont know what to think and just want to jack it all in.

Boyfriend has been next to useless helping me or supporting me and when he gets in from work all he wants to do is his weight training or computer so doesnt help me out with practical things and doesnt even know when her meds are due etc or when she last had a bath etc!!


The baby whisperer book states that hind milk doesnt come until around 18 minutes into the feed.Tabs gets fed up by about 13 minutes and keeps spitting boobie out sometimes or she just falls asleep as the flow isnt there.
Im convinced my body isnt producing it.

Sometimes i feel like a complete fuck up with everything, the "perfect pregnancy" then total fuck ups towards the end when people should have been picking up on things,i blame this for the breastfeeding as she was just whisked away10 hours afer being in our room and that fucking midwife who took her away saying "im just going to give her a bottle" WTF! not one frigging midwife helped show me how so i was trying with tabs but she couldnt latch. Then "oh yeah you should be expressing" every day i asked for a machine to be shown and was told yes someone will later on.......4 days it took! i even had to ask them for all my meds most of the time! and my planned blood tests etc! MORONS
Sorry but if i dont blame them i will blame myself for being shit at this.
It doesnt help that i am not being given the chance to be a first time mummy that i am with my step sons here when i got out of hospital as i had to do school runs and shopping and the like as i have no one here except me mother in law who hasn't even seen tabs since she was born and only lives across the road!
So all in all im concentrating so much on trying to get my milk in and using the baby whisperer book to "understand my baby talking to me" and trying to get in a routine for when the boys go back to school in september that i havn't enjoyed a minute of all this and realise i havn't given her the attention and got the enjoyment i should out of her!!!!! i am so frigging angry and upset over this point i just want to leave now so its just me and her.

Sorry girls really need to vent this.
Everyone else seems perfect in my eyes and seems like its only me.

Any help please..........i just want a routine i can easily follow as baby whisperer one says about the EASY ,eat,activity,sleep,you metohod but that is not working either.
Midwife used to say "sleep when your baby sleeps" MY BABY ONLY SLEEPS AT NIGHT! but now that has changed since trying to go totally BF so i get about 3 hours sleep. and she also doesnt let me put her down.
Help i just want someone to sort this now!!! i want a routine so i can actually go out of the house without her screaming if we are in town and me getting embarrassed

 

[sonny]

It also takes about 2 hours to organise getting out of the house then upon leaving she will go into meltdown! so i cant

 

[sonny]

1am - 30 mins BF
5am - 30 mins BF and 4 ozs
7am - 40 mins BF and 2 ozs
10am - 4 ozs
11am - 20 min BF
12.30pm - 30 mins BF
1.30pm - 10 mins BF and 4 ozs
2.30pm - 4ozs
sat here now 3.20pm BF'ing and bottle on way in a mo! who else has everyday like this?? its impossible! let alone her only having 10 min naps.
She was 11lb 2 and a half ozs last weigh in.
any of you with LO's at this weight how much they eat? if just on formula say?
I will update this as my day goes on.....

 

[Emmea12uk]

i am so sorry you are having such a rough time and i too am having the same trouble, but i dont have the confidence to ditch the bottle now. this is our routine which works for us.

10:00 wake up, 30 min bf (15 min either side) 90ml top up and bath and playtime
11:00 pump excess (usually 30ml)
14:30 120ml bottle & pump excess
19:00 30 min bf, 90ml top up, change and bed & pump excess
23:00 30 min bf, 90ml top up and bed
05:00 120ml bottle (breastmilk) and bed

my supply most definately isnt going up though and i find that he doesnt swallow much in the evenings at all, just as if my milk isnt flowing much. we have to use a shield to even get a latch.

i find that if he isnt hungry and hasnt got colic, he doesnt cry. he lies there and watches during the day and has the odd nap. a dummy usually keeps him quiet if not.

i am not going to stress any more - i think the stress is as much to blame as the hospital time for me. i will keep giving him what i can until i cant any more, but in the meantime we are both happy knowing how much he is getting.

Can't your oh help you with the children in any way at all?? I am not doing any housework at all at the moment apart from the washing. The rest can wait, or my oh will do it when he is tired of it.

 

[Ragirl]

I am so sorry hun But first off, as I said earlier- you CAN NOT blame yourself. You were given a rough start by shit mw and when your a first time mom, you don't know any different to tell them what to do or not do. So stop the blame game this INSTANT!! You are doing great just by trying. It is clear you have really researched, read, and looked for support- that is all you can do and that alone makes you a Fabulous mother. It sounds to me like you have shit for support at home now too- which will cause you stress and make increasing your milk supply more difficult. I know you said you don't have the kids for 2 weeks- any way you can get away somewhere where you can be pampered and just focus on you and Tabs? Also, it's not the end of the world if you end having to combo bf/bottle feed- ANY milk she gets from you, even an oz, benefits her- so don't feel like it's all or nothing. I think the most important thing for you to do right now is take care of yourself. You won't be any good to anyone if you are stressed and exhausted. I think you need to get your boyfriend and MIL in line- it's rotten she hasn't seen Tabs since she was born. As for your supply, it is possible you make less in the evenings if your body is not used to needing to supply much. I would keep having her nurse (even if you don't think anything is there) as much as possible- even letting her continue when there seems to be no milk so that your body gets the message to make more and then top her off with the bottle if you want. As for her not letting you set her down- will she let you sleep with her in the bed so you can still get some rest? Hang in there hun- We are here whenever you need to rant

 

[Ragirl]

1am - 30 mins BF
5am - 30 mins BF and 4 ozs
7am - 40 mins BF and 2 ozs
10am - 4 ozs
11am - 20 min BF
12.30pm - 30 mins BF
1.30pm - 10 mins BF and 4 ozs
2.30pm - 4ozs
sat here now 3.20pm BF'ing and bottle on way in a mo! who else has everyday like this?? its impossible! let alone her only having 10 min naps.
She was 11lb 2 and a half ozs last weigh in.
any of you with LO's at this weight how much they eat? if just on formula say?
I will update this as my day goes on.....

Honestly, this looks pretty normal and similar to my son's schedule at that age. It is exhausting- but I think part of what is making it worse is not getting help doing other things. If this was all you had to attend to and could doze with her during the day, it might feel more doable to you. It will improve as she continues to grow, but right now it looks like you are doing very well with the exception of the exhaustion. I would make oh give her one of her bottles and allow you to get some rest.

 

[marley2580]

At two months old Kaya was almost permanently attached to my boob and was feeding 8-12 times during the day and 4-6 times at night. Have you tried just taking her to bed? You can lie down, have skin-to-skin and get some sleep yourself. Also, maybe look into getting a sling if she always wants held. If you think about it, babies are hardwired to think that something's wrong if they are not being held - before we developed 'civilization' if a baby wasn't being help it usually meant that something bad had happened. Also, your baby was in constant contact with you for 9 months, it's a shock to the system to suddenly be denied that contact.

Sorry for the rambling, to summarise - take her to bed and try a sling. lol. You're doing great.