Daughter crying every time she is told off... Normal?

[opticalillus5]

My daughter has just turned 5, and every time I tell her off for something, she starts crying. I never shout at her, but I do have a stern voice which I use to let her know that something is unacceptable.

For example, how she treats the dog. No matter how many times I tell her, she keeps pulling the dog's tail. Or putting it under her covers in her bed (she's allowed to have it sit on her bed until she goes to sleep, but not under the covers).

I'll say to her 'Emma, you know you're not allowed to pull Tilly's tail', and she immediately starts crying. I don't raise my voice, but when I ask her why she's crying, she says it's because i have 'shouted' at her. Which I haven't... I never need to, because she's not actually that naughty at all. It's just little things.

I don't know whether she's crying because she's been caught doing something she shouldn't, or because she's upset that i'm unhappy with her.

Sometimes, she makes herself cry too, but that tends to be more to get her own way. I do cuddle her when she cries, but now i'm trying not to as I think this might be making things worse - I.e. she's still pulling the dog's tail, and seems only to be upset that she's getting caught, not that she's doing it in the first place!

Is this normal?

 

[v2007]

I think tears are sometimes a guilt measure, to make us feel bad even thou they do know they are doing something wrong.

Tears dont work on me, just lets me know that what i have said has been understood.

Normal..yes.

Stick it out, she will soon stop the tears and by the time she is Mollies age, it will be banging up the stairs and a scowl.

V xxxx

 

[leeanne]

Some girls seem to be a little emotional when they get in trouble. I know my 8 year old hates getting into trouble and has cried a number of times over the years, especially when OH raised his voice to her.

 

[samsugar7]

Yep agree with above, E can turn on the water works in a second. She uses them on OH (her dad) as she knows he hates children crying but not on me as she knows i wont take the blind bit of notice.

It will pass when she realises you will still ask her not to do things or remind her she shouldnt do things. If it doesnt stop try crying everytime she tells you not to do something or tells you off. If she is anything like E at that age she will be quite bossy and sure she is always right. It will annoy her that you always start crying and it might sink in that thats how you feel when she does it.

xx

 

[AimeeM]

Totally 100% normal. I wouldn't worry every kid i know cries when told off. As was said above it is a guilt thing i believe. To make you feel guilty for telling them off and because they feel guilty about whatever they are getting a telling off for.

 

[hopeandpray]

Trust me to have the opposite point of view when i was little and my mum shouted at me i got it into my head that she didn't like me so just make sure that she knows that you don't want to have to give out to her and won't if she won't misbehave

 

[samsugar7]

Trust me to have the opposite point of view when i was little and my mum shouted at me i got it into my head that she didn't like me so just make sure that she knows that you don't want to have to give out to her and won't if she won't misbehave

I dont think its opposite hun the OP has said she wasnt shouting just reaffirming what her daughter shouldnt do. I have only shouted at E twice in the 3 years i have known her as she was doing something dangerous and i couldnt get to her before she was hurt so i did it to get her attention.

I dont agree with shouting at children for the same reason but just using a firm voice shouldnt make anyone think you dont like them. E turns the water works on even if all we are doing is asking her to pick up she shoes.

 

[MrsRabbit]

I always cried when I got in trouble as a kid. I HATED getting in trouble and tried so hard and I hated being scolded. I didn't do it to make my parents feel bad.