Dd struggling with new arrival/starting school

[k4th]

Six weeks ago ds arrived We're all besotted, including dd. She also started school last week.

A couple of weeks ago her behaviour deteriorated sharply. She has always had her moments - who doesn't??! On the whole she's a really pleasant, kind & happy little girl. But she having frequent public tantrums (screaming, shouting, kicking), she's started hitting me, she's constantly growling& scowling at me & oh, and she will not make a choice (eg you can choose to put your shoes on & we'll go to the park, or you can choose to leave your shoes off and we won't go to the park). Even when the choice is clearly stacked - it's almost like she wants the argument.

I hate that she seems to be unhappy & angry. Even when I'm trying to do the things she wants and give lots of praise, she's seeking an argument and we end up with her sitting in her room or on the thinking step just screaming. But I can't help thinking that hitting (etc) is not acceptable, full stop and so she has to have consequences for her actions. I'm trying to pick my battles but I have to draw the line somewhere! I do try and spend time doing what she chooses & I'm taking time to reassure her that I love her & she's doing well at school & being a big sister.

I'm struggling with her tbh and the more I think about it the more it upsets me. Any thoughts, insight, experiences???

I want my happy little girl back.

 

[lau86]

I think you're doing everything right, my son is struggling to adjust being back at preschool after the six weeks holidays so I think it's wuite normal if there's been a few big changes. I would just carry on doing what you're doing and be patient, wait for the phase to end! Not sure there's anything else you can do really

 

[george83]

I agree to carry on as you are. I think you need to be consistent with the message you are trying to give too though so I'd always pick the same battles to discipline so she knows where she stands. Could you also get her to choose what you do one day at the weekend so she still feels like she's having some special time. My oldest did his first full week at school last week so choose to go to our big park on Sunday as a treat for him. It wasn't anything overly different to what we would normally do but he felt like it was his choice so he really enjoyed it