death anxiety

[kosh]

I'm really scared of death. I've had this all my life. In general I somehow manage to 'forget' about it and carry on, but when it creeps up it fills me with paralyzing anxiety.
anyone else? how do you cope?

 

[kosh]

wow - no one really?

 

[wildflower79]

Hiya, I've struggled in the past with anxiety issues, not specifically death phobia, but I used to worry something awful (heart attack, collapse, etc) would happen to me while I was out, and that brought on panic attacks. CBT has helped me a bit, although I'm not perfect I do manage to get by.

Is it anything in particular about death that frightens you? Do you think something triggered it?

These days I try to focus on living each day and enjoying life while I'm here! It can be very hard to get a grip on anxiety and panic though, I know

 

[Mangos]

Hi Kosh, I struggle with it immensely along with generalized anxiety. For me it only bothers me at night though. And it's always when the busy day has come to an end and I'm lying in bed trying t relax...the thoughts of death start creeping in and scaring me...

I try to do other things to get it off my mind like watch tv or take deep breaths. It's bothered me since childhood and I figure it's just always going to be something I have a hard time dealing with.


You're def not alone.

Another thing that I find helps to take my mind off it is writing down daily gratitudes (i.e. today I am grateful for...).. helped put my mind in a more positive light even if only for a while.

 

[seoj]

I've had mild anxiety all my life- I would gander to say that loads of people do, they just push it aside and carry on. Which, is what I used to do- but the older I got the more that undelying layer felt too heavy. Eventually- I got help (after some stressful life events)... for me, and my family. Even though I'm really good at pushing through and keeping a positive attitude, it's not a fun feeling. I know it's not the same thing- but I do fester over certain things and have a hard time letting go of them. But counseling helps a lot! And, just taking the time out of my day- every day- for a little me time. Even just 5mins to sit and breathe and focus on all the good things in my life. I've noticed a difference for sure in how I feel and how I'm better able to handle the little stresses that might have pushed me more previously.

Just try different things and find new ways to help ease that worry when it set's in... however works for you. I used to google ways to decompress- and I even tried meditation. Although for me, I had a hard time just allowing my mind to let go and NOT think of a zillion things. So maybe it's something I try again some day- for now, I do better keeping active and busy!

Not sure any of that helps you- but you are certainly not alone hun.

 

[kosh]

thanks ladies for your replies.

Is it anything in particular about death that frightens you? Do you think something triggered it?

It's weird, I'm actually not frightened as such, but if I think that one day I will not be here I start to panic

I've done lots of counselling during all my life, but this is something that always stays there....

 

[Dinah93]

I think I might belong in here. Some of my earliest memories are lying awake waiting for my mum and dad to come back from their date night, crying on my grandma that I thought their car had crashed. I did that every single time they went out. For years I had the same nightmare every night they died in a fire. It went away for quite a long time but then when my daughter was born we were told she had a condition not compatible with life, to take her home and enjoy the time we have with her but it would only be a few weeks or months. That was over 2 years ago and they've now said it was a misdiagnosis, but the fear hasn't gone away. I check on her several times a night, I sleep with my fingers against my son's ribcage to feel his breathing in his sleep. I'm terrified of what the future may hold for them, how does the world keep turning if you loose your child? If my husband is home late from work I've been known to get worked up to the point of tears. I'm terrified either of my parents will have a heart attack as they're both overweight. I'd love to be able to forget these worries, but how can you 'get over' the idea of loosing the most precious things in your life? Someone broke into our conservatory a few months ago, didn't get into the main house as the internal door was locked, but I'm barely sleeping now as I'm terrified they'll get in and snatch or hurt my toddler as she sleeps in another room.

 

[missk1989]

I have this too. I can reduce myself to tears whilst driving to work with irrational fears of crashing my car and killing myself or worse killing my son and surviving. If my DH is late home I sit their imagining myself opening the door to he police and the same when he has a night out and stays out later than intended. I do not know how to stop myself and it so scary.

 

[Mangos]

It's very reassuring to know that other women out there struggle with this too. I have seen a psychologist about it a few tims and she refers to it as "catastrophic thinking"... I've find it helpful to kind of take a step back and get my mind back in order by going through a little "realiy check list".

I've shared it below, hope it helps you ladies too. It's really a work in progress. Some days I can catch it in time before it builds, and other days I'm not so great at it.

Managing Catastrophic Thoughts

Catastrophic thoughts can be debilitating. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to address catastrophic thoughts.

The first step in addressing unhealthy thoughts is knowing when you have them. Self-monitoring can be an excellent way of increasing awareness of your thoughts, and how they impact your mood and behaviors.

Next, you want to take steps to move your thinking away from extremes, and to consider other options. So it can be helpful to ask yourself some of the following questions:

•What evidence do I have for this thought?
•What evidence do I have against this thought?
•Are there times when this thought hasn't been true?
•Do I have this kind of thought when I'm feeling OK as opposed to feeling sad, angry, or anxious?
•What would I tell someone else who was having this kind of thought?
•Is it possible that I'm having this thought just out of habit?
•What might be an alternative, more realistic explanation?

Asking yourself these types of questions can help break the habit of catastrophic thinking and help you be more flexible in your thinking. In the end, this could reduce your anxiety, or prevent your anxiety from getting worse.

In addition, it may also be helpful to practice mindfulness of your thoughts. That is, when you notice that you are having a catastrophic thought, simply view the thought as just a thought, and nothing else. It's just something your mind does when you're feeling a certain way, or are faced with a certain situation. It's a habit and not an indication of truth. Taking a step back from your thoughts can help diminish their power over your mood.

 

[annabananas]

I just wanted to send hugs

I've only been diagnosed with generalised anxiety since April 2013, but I've been terrified of death for as long as I can remember. Both for myself and my family.

I can remember being awake for hours in my teens, feeling like I had a hot poker in my chest, thinking that my mum and dad wouldn't be here forever. I'm the same with my husband, although I think I'm a bit better having had CBT. I hated when he went on a night out as I'd lie awake for ages and only relax when he was home.

I'm not sure if it's a control issue, I know I get really stressed and anxious over things I can't control.

 

[TTCabundle]

I have this too, it creeps up on my all of a sudden and im terrified! I just think, one day i won't be here, there will be nothing anymore. It's a very weird thought. I think it's not death we fear, but the unknown. None of us know for sure what will happen after we die BUT i like to think that we see our family and friends again, otherwise what would be the point in life? There has to be something after death, I'm not very religious but i do believe that it's not the end, something comes next. That's what helps me through my fear. I don't even know why I'm so obsessed with thinking about it, im 20 years old and i hope to have a few years ahead of me yet. Just live each day as it comes. It's ironic that we spend our life worrying about death, and in the end, that is what happens! So enjoy life and have fun x

 

[karlilay]

I suffer with this so badly it affects my every day life and I have to see a psychologist weekly.
It's somehow manifested itsself into an irrational fear of cancer. In the past 8 months I have been 100% convinced iv got stomach cancer, breast cancer (this was a really bad one that lasted for months) bowel cancer, and now funnily back into stomach cancer.

I live life petrified of dying. I cry often to think I will be dead, the thought of being dead just gives me horrendous panic attacks. I lost just I've a stone when I was really bad, but I'm a bit better now.

Everyone laughs at me. They think it's irrational and stupid, but the truth is, people my age die. People my age get cancer. Why not me?

 

[kosh]

thanks ladies. 'glad' I'm not the only one
I think we are describing two different types of death anxiety - most of you worry you (or a loved one) might be terminally ill, or have an accident and die, whereas me and TTCabundle have fear of the 'nothingness'

 

[karlilay]

I fear all of it. I few being dead. I can't get my head around burial and cremation, I just can't figure I won't be there anymore. In that body.

But I also fear dying. I don't want to suffer.

 

[kosh]

sorry karlilay
it's awful isn't it
is therapy helping?

 

[loeylo]

I have really bad health anxiety. I have a large mole on my head and I have been convinced it is melanoma since I was about 8. I worry that those close to me have cancer too. Like other ladies have said, when someone is out of contact I am convinced they have died (especially when in the car). I found a lump on my back a few years ago and spent weeks thinking I was dying.

 

[bumblebeexo]

I've recently started with this, I can't sleep at night thinking one day I'll not be here. I try to tell myself I've got years left, but so many people I know have died young. I find myself overanalysing everything. I just can't imagine leaving my kids without a mother. I could cry all day thinking about it! I'm not sure what has brought it on so strongly for me, it has been this past couple of weeks that have hit me like a ton of bricks.

 

[kosh]

I've recently started with this, I can't sleep at night thinking one day I'll not be here. I try to tell myself I've got years left, but so many people I know have died young. I find myself overanalysing everything. I just can't imagine leaving my kids without a mother. I could cry all day thinking about it! I'm not sure what has brought it on so strongly for me, it has been this past couple of weeks that have hit me like a ton of bricks.

it's awful
I've been ok recently, but I know that if I start thinking about I go mad