Debate: Anonimity of sperm and egg donors

[bluebaby]

Organised sperm donation has gone on for decades, as the medical science of fertility treatment has sought to help couples unable to conceive naturally have their own children. Sperm donation is the more common, with Egg donation being rarer. In almost all countries sperm and egg donors have been anonymous, having no contact with the child they have helped to conceive and the parents who bring it up. The UK, however, brought in new rules in 2005 so that new donors could not be anonymous. Under the new UK law a child of donor assisted-conception can ask when they are 18 to be given the details of their biological parent, possibly allowing them to make contact with the donor. This was highly controversial when it was passed, and remains so today.

What do you think?

 

[November1984]

I have been an anonymous and known egg donor.
Most of the couples I have worked w/prefer anonymous donation.

Either way every contract I signed stated that if the children born w/my eggs wanted to reach me later they could ask through a middle source if it would be okay with me.

It's completely wrong to me though that information could be released without the donor's consent.

 

[Dopeyjopey]

I think it should be known for a number of reasons...

Hereditary illnesses need to be known and these may not have been apparent at the time of donation.
If I had been conceived due to donation i would want to say thank you.
It is good for donors to know they have made someone very happy.
There may be more biological family you don't know about (i.e. brothers and sisters you wouldn't want to marry!)

It's a shame some people are put off my the idea of an 18 year old turning up at their door... i would imagine that children who exist because of donation are incredibly loved and wanted and would never want another 'mum' or 'dad' but would want to know out of curiousity and maybe to say thank you.

 

[coccyx]

Why would you want to be anonymous? I think the future child should be able to find out some details/family history etc but not so sure they should have a name, contact details unless the donor was ok with it

 

[November1984]

FYI Anonymous donation isn't people blindly choosing eggs. In order for a clinic/agency to allow you to be a donor you go through pre-screens for genetic disorders, etc. I guess in an independent donation some couple could choose to not do all the screens but I believe that's on the rare side.Yes, things can pop up that wouldn't have been detected and the donor in most cases can contact their agency, clinic, law firm or a national registry to report a hereditary illness.

You have to also remember most of the parents who choose donor eggs or sperm don't want an open donation. Again, through most contracts done kids born from donor eggs/sperm would not receive contact info unless the donor wishes them to through a mediator who could get the okay from both parties and then give the exchange info.

Hmmm what about donors wanting to meet the offspring? That's a tough one.

 

[polo_princess]

This is the only reason that stopped me donating, i do not and would not want someone turning up on my doorstep in 18 years time, no thank you!!

If everything were done properly then there would be no reason for you to be contacted with regards to medical history and whatnot as you would supply what you know fro the word go.

It just doesnt sit comfortably at all with me im afraid

 

[cherryglitter]

This is the only reason that stopped me donating, i do not and would not want someone turning up on my doorstep in 18 years time, no thank you!!

If everything were done properly then there would be no reason for you to be contacted with regards to medical history and whatnot as you would supply what you know fro the word go.

It just doesnt sit comfortably at all with me im afraid

This is how I feel too!!

I would love to donate eggs but as polo said, someone turning up on my doorstep in 18 years time is a bit much for me to take in!x

 

[bluebaby]

This is the only reason that stopped me donating, i do not and would not want someone turning up on my doorstep in 18 years time, no thank you!!

If everything were done properly then there would be no reason for you to be contacted with regards to medical history and whatnot as you would supply what you know fro the word go.

It just doesnt sit comfortably at all with me im afraid

This is how I feel too!!

I would love to donate eggs but as polo said, someone turning up on my doorstep in 18 years time is a bit much for me to take in!x

If I was to donate my eggs to help out another family then I wouldn't want a child turning up at my house 18 years later. The child that is created isn't mine, they are brought up by another family, carried by someone else and I have my own family iykwim. The same if my husband was to say he wanted to be a sperm donor, i would have issues with it due to the anonimity.

 

[MrsGlitz]

This is the only reason that stopped me donating, i do not and would not want someone turning up on my doorstep in 18 years time, no thank you!!

If everything were done properly then there would be no reason for you to be contacted with regards to medical history and whatnot as you would supply what you know fro the word go.

It just doesnt sit comfortably at all with me im afraid

Me too.

 

[hopeandpray]

I think it stops people donating, I'm not sure what the law is in Ireland if it's the same as the uk i don't think i could donate knowing that the child or children could just come and find me, i wouldn't feel like the child's mother

 

[smokey]

I think its all a case of knowing what your getting into and what type of donation your making.
If you know from the start there is a chance they may want to know you in future then its all part of researching and making sensible decisions of what your doing and getting into.
If someone doesnt want to be ever contacted then its somthing they should have thought about more seriously in the begining.
If its a case of the recipient can and would never know your id then dont go into it with the think ing of "oh I can meet them in 18 years time"
Most people know what they are getting into and if they have thought carfully enough about what they are doing and the implacations of further down the line then it shouldnt be a problem either way, its people that go into it on a whim and then find problems with being contacted that should have thought about it more seriously.

If you know and except these conditions of however its done then wheres the problem?
If I ever did decide to be a doner and a child turned up 18 years later then I wouldnt turn them away but I also wouldnt want to act like a mother to them, to me a mother and father are the people that raised, cared for, loved that child not biolical doners, same with adoption.

 

[BlackBerry25]

I think it should be anonymous, for the reason the others have said. Plus, a lot of people don't know their family medical history anyways. Example, Who knows? Maybe my dad isn't really my dad. I haven't had a DNA test. And like whoever said, they do screening to make sure you are healthy.

I'm with Holly. I wouldn't want a random "kid" of mine to show up. I would not few that as my child. I just helped someone have the child they always wanted.

 

[moomin_troll]

before i had zane i wanted to donate eggs but now i have zane to think of i wouldnt do it as i wouldnt want it to effect him badly in the future.

some families who need to use donors might not even tell the children so they wouldnt go knocking on someones door in 18yrs time, altho i do think that if the parents are honest the child should be able to get info on the donor, as someone else has said if nothing but for medical reasons.

my oh also donated sperm before he met me so im expecting a knock on my door lol

 

[PeanutBean]

You'll laugh but I think I actually have no opinion on this issue! I'm unlikely to become a donor and fortunately I shan't ever need one. Isn't it supposed to be quite painful to donate eggs? I think probably smokey's right, so long as the rules are clear from the start and don't change for that person then people will donate, perhaps just not the same people.

 

[Dopeyjopey]

You'll laugh but I think I actually have no opinion on this issue! I'm unlikely to become a donor and fortunately I shan't ever need one. Isn't it supposed to be quite painful to donate eggs? I think probably smokey's right, so long as the rules are clear from the start and don't change for that person then people will donate, perhaps just not the same people.

You surprise me!

To the people who wouldn't want an 18 year old turning up... is it because you would assume they would want you to be a mum to them?

 

[November1984]

You'll laugh but I think I actually have no opinion on this issue! I'm unlikely to become a donor and fortunately I shan't ever need one. Isn't it supposed to be quite painful to donate eggs? I think probably smokey's right, so long as the rules are clear from the start and don't change for that person then people will donate, perhaps just not the same people.

Egg donation consists of daily shots for many weeks, weekly blood draws (or more), having to have minor surgery (been put under each time) and sometimes excess fluid in your abdomen after the retrieval needing to be aspirated.

I honestly don't think it's that painful but it's a LOT of hassle.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I would actually donate eggs if it was to be anonymous but I understand why it cant always be.

 

[MrsGlitz]

You'll laugh but I think I actually have no opinion on this issue! I'm unlikely to become a donor and fortunately I shan't ever need one. Isn't it supposed to be quite painful to donate eggs? I think probably smokey's right, so long as the rules are clear from the start and don't change for that person then people will donate, perhaps just not the same people.

You surprise me!

To the people who wouldn't want an 18 year old turning up... is it because you would assume they would want you to be a mum to them?

No, it's not that, I mean I understand they wouldn't view me as their mum, much like I wouldn't view them as my child but I'd be worried how it would impact Harry mainly. Although there is a tiny part of me that would worry that they'd want me to be a mum, such as if they had a rubbish upbringing.

 

[MrsGlitz]

I think it should be anonymous, for the reason the others have said. Plus, a lot of people don't know their family medical history anyways. Example, Who knows? Maybe my dad isn't really my dad. I haven't had a DNA test. And like whoever said, they do screening to make sure you are healthy.

I'm with Holly. I wouldn't want a random "kid" of mine to show up. I would not few that as my child. I just helped someone have the child they always wanted.

I'm not entirely sure of my family medical history. My mum died before I thought to ask her, I have minimal contact with my Dad, my mum's parents are both dead too and whilst she has siblings, their mum died when they were children so I'm not sure they really know?

 

[BrandiCanucks]

As someone who used a sperm donor for this pregnancy, I'm glad that he agreed to have minimal involvement. He wants pictures and updates on the baby, and has said that if my child wants contact in the future, he will gladly meet with the child. I find nothing wrong with these laws at all. It's the same here in Canada.

The donor can always say, in 18 years, that it was nice to meet their "contribution", but they would feel more comfortable with not having a relationship, but if you're agreeing to donate and help other people start a family, you can't expect that the child produced from that donation will want to live their entire life without meeting their biological parent.

It's also good in the case of genetic disorders, as my daughter has. My donor was well aware of my daughter's condition and has agreed, that if this child is also born with a genetic condition, he will undergo testing to see if it was him who passed it.

Now, given that I did and still do want this child, I am about 95% sure I will be giving this baby up for adoption and have been talking to his or her prospective adoptive parents. Should this child turn out to have any genetic conditions, it is a wonderful thing that both birth parents are willing to undergo testing if necessary.