Debate - to cry or not to cry.....

[scrumpy78]

My 3.5 week old (2nd baby) rarely cries. I'm bf on a rough routine, and am ultra responsive to needs. This means I'm pre empting feeding times, thus feeding before she cries. When she gets fussy I'm picking her up to settle before she works herself up. During the night, I wake on her " stirring" and feed, again no cries.

My question is, is this a good thing? Should babies learn to "ask" for what they need? does it develop them if they learn to wait for things sometimes. I assumed I was doing a good thing, but thinking more about it, could some crying be a good thing for them?

What do u think? Obvioulsy I don't mean distress cry

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

I think what you're doing is totally right.

Crying is a last resort hunger cue, and I wouldn't like to wait until I was upset before getting food, so why should a baby?

Your LO IS asking for what she needs - you're so in tune with her that you're recognising her early cues and she is not having to resort to crying which is good IMO

 

[ClaireMuir123]

I don't think there's any need for a baby to cry. You obviously know your LO very well and can feed before she really gets hungry. Because babies go from fine - hungry very quickly. Lol. I would only say, don't do it once she's weaning because she might get very very frustrated if her food isn't ready and waiting for her and she may get demanding as she gets older. Sounds like you're doing a great job! xxx

 

[scrumpy78]

Link removed

 

[Lellow]

Agree with Claire....Your baby is only 3.5 weeks old and the fact that your in tune with her already and not having to wait for a cue like crying is fantastic...

...Keep it up, your doing fab id say!

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

https://www.gfi.org/java/jsp/article47.htm

They're horrible people those Ezzos, sorry. Please, please don't listen to that stuff. Ugh.

 

[Lightworker]

I think thats awesome and your baby's contentedness (grammar) is proof of it. X

 

[happigail]

I think what you're doing is totally right.

Crying is a last resort hunger cue, and I wouldn't like to wait until I was upset before getting food, so why should a baby?

Your LO IS asking for what she needs - you're so in tune with her that you're recognising her early cues and she is not having to resort to crying which is good IMO

Really couldn't agree more.

I also do the action before crying thing, everything is routine, so she knows when it's coming. She developing really well, so dont worry! X

 

[Pearls18]

There's no right or wrong, if you're both happy sounds good to me I personally didn't do that :/ I have to admit I was rubbish at reading what DS wanted lol, and I always left it until he was crying before feeding him as I found I could read his cries well if you get me??? Don't get me wrong I didn't leave him crying but I just wasn't good at the whole picking things up from other gestures but once he started crying I could tell what he wanted- tired/hungry etc. I found crying taught me when he actually needed feeding because I used to feed unecessarily (I chose to feed for hunger only not comfort, and within a routine when he allowed) Now I do have it nailed I think lol and can tell when he's fussing and what for, usually he only cries for attention now. Only thing I would say, I found that in the early weeks (probs around week 6) I was feeding DS every time he woke in the night assuming that as he was waking he wanted food, then after another long night my mum said to me "are you sure he's actually hungry?" after that I stopped automatically offering the boob every time he woke at night, and found that he actually only needed feeding once a night (at that stage) and would self settle at the other times. Just something I thought I'd add but if you're so in tune with your baby that they don't need to cry that's fab, lots of ladies talk about doing that on here- unfortunately I wasn't, fingers crossed for the next bubba when I'm more experienced and confident!

I don't think crying is bad- it's what they do to tell us what they need, but I guess eventually they cry less when we learn to pick up on their cues.

 

[scrumpy78]

https://www.gfi.org/java/jsp/article47.htm

They're horrible people those Ezzos, sorry. Please, please don't listen to that stuff. Ugh.

I've never heard of them before? Just did a google search

 

[tommyg]

Keep it up if you can figure your baby out before she resorts to crying then why let her cry. Mine is 10 weeks and I'm still stuggling to figure out why my baby is crying.

 

[louandivy]

Sounds like you're doing a great job to me!

 

[Katt]

Definitely respond quickly at 3.5 weeks! When they get bigger I think it is ok to let them have a bit of a cry - if not just to see if they will settle themselves again.

I believe that responding quickly early on teaches lo that you are there, so when they do get bigger they feel more secure and are more likely to self settle.

I would be aware that babies are extremely noisy and wriggly sleepers- make sure lo is not just having a wriggle before you wake them up!

 

[scrumpy78]

Just read about ezzo and removed my link. Don't want to be associated!

 

[scrumpy78]

It's still early days, I wouldn't say I'm that confident yet, so far so good but being a parent already i know how quickly things can change! Lol

 

[Mummy to be x]

My LO does not cry she wakes and just lies there till Mummy comes and gets her, Now she has learnt to babble (talk) lol she will do that to let me no she want's food in the night, During the day though she will get restless and wiggle about when she is hungry Never screams xx

 

[jojo2605]

Well this is exactly what I do. I can hear Dylan next to me in the night starting to get fidgetty and grunty when he wants a feed so I take him down stairs for one before he escalates to a cry. No need to wait until he cries, I know what he wants before he gets to that stage.

Dylan doesn't cry much either, only if he has trapped wind or if he gets overtired, although I try to avoid that if I can.

I'd say it's definitely the right way to do it! Although as others have said, I'm not knocking anyone who doesn't do it this way. Just works for us!

 

[funny_face]

I did this, worked for us! Zoe doesn't cry that much even now. Generally just when she's over tired. I think its really important when they are so little, that they know that you are there and that you understand their needs (even though you probably don't and are just guessing most of the time ). If in doubt, boob. That's my motto!

Basically, agree with what Claire said in post 2 xx

 

[stardust599]

I did this, Macy hardly ever cried when she was little but now she's a screamer anyway lol - don't think either way makes a difference, just whatever way makes you feel most comfortable and happiest xx

 

[louandivy]

Also I usually fed and cuddled Ivy before she had the chance to cry too, and now she rarely cries at all. She has a reputation amongst my friends and family as the baby who never cries!