Decided to FF- any tips/advice for dealing with midwives and health visitors?

[merlotgirl]

Morning all,

I've come to the decision that I want to FF from day 1 as I have a history of anxiety and depression both pre and during this pregnancy (for various reasons I won't bore you all with hear!) and I'm worried about PND as I suspect I'll be a high risk of developing it. The one thing I know makes my condition worse is lack of sleep (unavoidable with a new baby I know!) and I've always had really awful problems with insomnia. The minute I start stressing about something- I stop sleeping...

So our main reason for FF our baby is to allow my OH to help as much as possible to try and avoid this as much as we can...I know all of the benefits of BF but having weighed up the options think this is the better option for us and it's not a decision I've come to easily..

So ladies- any tips on dealing with militant midwives and harassing health visitors that I know are going to be trying to persuade me to change my mind? -I have a midwife appointment on Thursday and I know it's probably going to start then...

Thanks for any help,
MGxx

 

[kirmal12]

I notice your from East Anglia, if your going to Addenbrookes/ the Rosie don't worry, nobody seemed to give a hoot with whatever you chose. They helped either way, no militants there!!

 

[kerrie24]

Just stand your ground and tell them that is the decision you have made.They are there to support your decision,not try to force you to change your mind.I cant see them pushing it to be honest once you have chosen.

 

[ellie]

i always intended to bf but absoluely no one ever asked me my plans throughout pregnancy (or even after the birth!) so i wouldnt worry about that, and if they do ask you could just say you are thinking about it. easier said i know but try not to worry about this, sounds like you have quite enough on your plate and its not really any of their business if you want support/advice on ff you could ask them later on in the pregnancy maybe?

 

[bluebaby]

The midwife and HV don't really seem to mind what you do and at the hospital all they said to me was BF or FF so they could get the LO sorted for food.

Just stand your ground and don't let anyone sway your decision.

 

[curioser_5]

Hi, its so weird that i came across your post today as i was just talking to my mam today about the exact same thing and i completley understand!
I have also suffered from very bad anxiety and depression for a long time, to the point that i have been physically unable to work (or do much else) for the past few years. Because i am also afraid of developing post-natal depression i have decided to FF to try and reduce pressure on myself - this way OH can help with the feeds too & i dont have the pressure of worrying that i will 'fail' at breastfeeding.
Although this may sound selfish to some people it is the best decision for me to reduce stress (my main trigger) as much as possible and reducing stress is the ONLY thing i have found that can significantly helps. If FF from day 1 will help me cope better then it IS the best thing for my baby aswell.
I had my first appointment with a midwife last week and was really worried about what she would say about my decision (my sister-in-law told me they might get nasty about it), but suprisingly she didnt have a go at me about it! The hospital im going to dosnt encourage FF at all though (or even supply any formula) so im sure im not out of the woods yet. Stand your ground and good luck, in my opinion whats good for mum is good far baby too xx

 

[nikkiangel83]

It is totally your decision and no one should say anything otherwise but I will say that breastfeeding produces a hormone called oxytocin which is known to be a powerful anti-depressant so the nurses etc may well throw this in your face when you give them your reasons.

Good luck sweetheart. I DO breastfeed but as time goes on I can see why people choose not to and I am not as narrow minded as I once was. Stand your ground and know the facts

 

[suzib76]

if you have decided to ff then they have no right to try and persuade you otherwise, i dont know of any who do but please remember this is YOUR child YOUR choice - if a midwife/HV questioned my choice to ff in the manner you are expecting them to i would officially complain - you have enough to think about when your lo s here without that

 

[Lyndz]

I had a midwife who was extremely pro breast feeding to the point where it was just darn pushy. Stand your ground, it is your choice & you have to do what suits you & your family. It's not for anyone to try & force you to do something you're not comfortable with. If they get pushy, tell them firmly you have made your decision & you will not be changing your mind.

 

[MissRhead]

It's your choice Hun it's your baby and so just stand your ground. It makes me so sad when people are worried about what people will say about formula feeding. I was the same at the begining when anybody asked I felt I had to make escuses of why I wasn't bf, it shouldn't have to be like that. Hugs x

 

[LoobyLou75]

It's your choice so you must stand your ground.

When my LO was born I decided to BF but I had such problems at first and was all for giving up the first day but the midwife kept making me try, wouldn't even let me suggest I try the bottle. As it is I now combi feed but you should never be bullied into anything you don't want to do.

 

[dougie]

It is totally your decision and no one should say anything otherwise but I will say that breastfeeding produces a hormone called oxytocin which is known to be a powerful anti-depressant so the nurses etc may well throw this in your face when you give them your reasons.

Good luck sweetheart. I DO breastfeed but as time goes on I can see why people choose not to and I am not as narrow minded as I once was. Stand your ground and know the facts

im with nikki here, it is proven that instances of PND are lower in that of BFing mothers than FF mothers
when you dont BF, your body naturally thinks that you have lost the baby and can trigger the hormones which associate with the loss, ie depression
also, to help with the sleep side (with BFing) - have you thought about co-sleeping? then when the baby is hungry there isnt any faffing about with getting up, you can just latch them on and go back to sleep

of course it is definitely your choice and you do what is right for you and i dont want to sound pushy, just letting you know the other side

 

[Eala]

Merlotgirl - what's most important is that happy Mummy = happy baby. I tried and tried to BF, even to the point of trying to relactate after I'd stopped. I made myself and my DH miserable, and I'm sure that continuing in that kind of atmosphere would've been far worse for my LO, than giving her formula. She is a healthy, happy, bright little girl, and we're all very happy.

How to deal with MWs and HVs is really up to you, and can often depend on how you feel on the day! I didn't have any issues before and just after birth, as I'd wanted to BF and did initially. After I stopped, my HV was wonderful so no issues there. Any negativity from other healthcare professionals, and other Mums, I would tend to say that I was doing what was best for the whole family, and that at the end of the day, as long as I'm feeding my baby, it's nobody's business but my own.

You just say as much or as little as you feel you can - this is *your* decision, and it's not like giving her formula is giving her poison. Your reasons are valid, don't let anyone make you feel that they are not