deleted post

[MilosMommy7]

....................

 

[katy1310]

It's your decision and nobody else's - BF isn't for everyone. I struggled with my decision to stop BF. My baby was 13 weeks early, and I expressed for 10 weeks for her then I breastfed for a while when she was allowed to try feeding but she was feeding for ages and then still hungry and needing lots of top ups, and I was worried about her weight gain as she was so tiny, and I was getting all stressed out, so after a LOT of thinking I decided to stop BF and I did feel a bit guilty for a while, but then someone said to me happy mummy = happy baby and that's the thought that made me realise I'd made the right decision.

I was worried about losing the closeness but tbh I haven't lost it at all - she still gets the cuddles when she is feeding, and I LOVE the way she strokes my hands when I'm holding the bottle, and she grips my fingers too which is lovely.

Try not to feel guilty, it's ok not to BF. Your baby will get lots and lots of love and that's even more important.

xxx

 

[sunshine114]

I've been going through feeling the guilt as well. I've tried so hard to bf, then was pumping but I was going to lose the plot and pnd was becoming a real possibility. We are only a few days into ff and I can already see the difference in myself and my baby. Where he was unsettled and losing weight he is now content and gaining weight. I think the pressure to bf is so wrong - you shouldn't be made to feel guilty for doing what's best for your baby. If I ever have another one (highly unlikely at the moment!!) then I'll be saying the same as you x

 

[bathbabe]

the whole way thru my pregnancy all the midwives i saw tried to pressure me into BF, i hated it, i felt guilty for not even giving it a chance. Then when i had harrison and asked how i was feeding him i said "FF, i know breast is supposed to be best but im NOT doing it" as soon as i made my point clear in hospital i didnt feel the pressure and didnt feel guilty anymore. I dont feel like i havnt bonded with him or that we love eachother less. At the end of the day its your decision, and yeah happy mummy = happy baby xxx

 

[Odd Socks]

i was so lucky in that i never felt pressured by anyone but myself! it might have been because i intended to breastfeed throughout my pregnancy. & i tried, i really did, but had to formula feed in the end as bella just wouldn't breastfeed, & no-one could figure out why. i did express for a couple more weeks, & combi-fed, but in the end, my supply was dropping rapidly, & i was feeling i was missing out on time with her by being stuck to the pump (i'd hired a hospital grade one, so goodness knows what it would have been like if i'd bought one, i would have spent even more time expressing).
i was never made to feel guilty for switching to formula, in fact, a couple of midwives recommended it to us. the only person who's made me feel guilty is me, & i still do, daily, but bella's thriving on formula, & i'm enjoying my baby
xx

 

[Mel+Bump]

I think Ill be formula feeding the next one, and I keep feeling guilty about it but with my LO I breastfed for a week and it became so stressful I started to resent her everytime she was hungry and so moved to bottle feeding. I was in tears and could barely talk to people about switching to formula but now, after being told constantly happy mummy = happy baby, Im loving formula feeding! The routine is great, I love watching her have her feed and she seems happier too Never feel bad about it, its your body and your choice Just be firm and ignore anybody that tried to pressure you.

 

[Lara310809]

Tbh I only really bonded with her when I made the decision to stop BF. We had been combi feeding, and nobosdy had told me how easy it was to lose your milk, so when I had a low supply combined with a family emergency (lasting 5 weeks, in that I couldn't be around for my LO much) I lost my milk. She was also a lazy latch, which didn't help, and would get so frustrated with me having no milk, I eventually had to stop BF completely.

As soon as we went 100% FF, things were better. I will try to BF my next baby, and I just hope things get easier. Ironically now I know how to make a baby latch, I have more confidence. The MWs in the hospital's advice was "just keep trying" and I had no idea there was a specific way to try I'm still angry about it, but there's nothing I can do anymore.

 

[MilosMommy7]

Tbh I only really bonded with her when I made the decision to stop BF. We had been combi feeding, and nobosdy had told me how easy it was to lose your milk, so when I had a low supply combined with a family emergency (lasting 5 weeks, in that I couldn't be around for my LO much) I lost my milk. She was also a lazy latch, which didn't help, and would get so frustrated with me having no milk, I eventually had to stop BF completely.

As soon as we went 100% FF, things were better. I will try to BF my next baby, and I just hope things get easier. Ironically now I know how to make a baby latch, I have more confidence. The MWs in the hospital's advice was "just keep trying" and I had no idea there was a specific way to try I'm still angry about it, but there's nothing I can do anymore.

good luck with BFing next time. the longest milo ever stayed latch was for about 2 minutes. the nurse would sit there for 10-20 minutes trying to help him stay latched but he just wasnt doing it. AND my nipples were already cracked and bleeding because he couldnt latch correctly. i really hope if i decide to BF that the next baby will be a better latcher.

 

[OmarsMum]

My son only latched on for 6 hrs, I was pressured at the hospital to BF & I tried to pump but didnt get milk. I requested formula & I almost cried for it as my Lo didnt have any feeds for 18 hrs & he was jaundiced & needed feeds every 2 hrs. I had to leave hospital early because of it. I was soo stressed out when we went back home. LO didnt latch on & tried pumping again with no success, there was no milk. I had a traumatic emergency CS. Next time I'm planning to go for a planned CS & I will try to be relaxed regarding feeding. IF my next baby wont latch on, I will offer formula with no guilt & will not let anyone to pressure me. I will keep trying, but if it doesnt work, I wont feel guilty. I want to enjoy my next baby frm the beginning instead of spending wks feeling miserable. xx

 

[sequeena]

I think it's ridiculous that a woman should feel guilty for not breast feeding. As long as mum and baby are happy and healthy it shouldn't matter.

I'm going to try my hardest to breast feed but if I can't it won't be the end of the world.

 

[crossroads]

I think Ill be formula feeding the next one, and I keep feeling guilty about it but with my LO I breastfed for a week and it became so stressful I started to resent her everytime she was hungry and so moved to bottle feeding. I was in tears and could barely talk to people about switching to formula but now, after being told constantly happy mummy = happy baby, Im loving formula feeding! The routine is great, I love watching her have her feed and she seems happier too Never feel bad about it, its your body and your choice Just be firm and ignore anybody that tried to pressure you.

How did BFing make you feel stressed? I think I'm experiencing the same thing.

 

[Janidog]

Nope don't feel guilty one bit

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

I feel upset, but the upset feeling didn't kick in for a while. At first when I stopped expressing and trying to get her to latch, and gave formula, I felt much happier because she was obviously getting more so was more settled. The happiness didn't last long though, I feel bad about FFing.

 

[Missy86]

It has taken me along time to get over stopping bf, its true that no one said anything to me and were very supportive but I made myself feel bad.

If I have another one its gonna be really hard cos I will aim give the first milk but I hate the idea of doing it all again. It puts me off having more kids to be honest

 

[Eve]

when i go into labor with this next baby and they ask if i plan to breastfeed. and i'm gonna say no i tried with my son. he "breastfed" for about 18hours. they couldnt get him to stay latched and it just wasnt working out. i didnt have a pump before hand. so eventually he wsnt getting enough and i had to resort to using the hospital formula they provided.
does anyone else "feel bad" for not breastfeeding? i know it's better for them in some ways. but with vaccines and the formulas they come out with now, you can get almost the same in formula than you can with breastmilk. you dont have to have a baby latched to your boob to bond with them. in the end, i loved looking down and watching him drink from his bottle. so i know that i'm gonna formula feed the next one. i just dont like feeling so bad about it!

Nothing against formula, but I Just wanted to point out to other potential readers that it is not even close to being the same as breastmilk. With all the medical advancements you don't need to worry about your baby not getting proper nutrition or being malnourished in the better off countries while formula feeding by no means, but it's still not even close to breastmilk.

If you weren't happy breastfeeding then I wouldn't be too upset or feel guilty for choosing to use formula your next child, but I think if you truly want to breastfeed, try again. Every time is different and maybe your next will latch with no problems and it be almost clear sailing We all (Most) go through problems at first, that is why the ones who do get through it and carry on breastfeeding feel so proud, but not everyone has the same extent, or intensity of problems. It's your choice, I just wanted to give a little hope for next time.

 

[MilosMommy7]

when i go into labor with this next baby and they ask if i plan to breastfeed. and i'm gonna say no i tried with my son. he "breastfed" for about 18hours. they couldnt get him to stay latched and it just wasnt working out. i didnt have a pump before hand. so eventually he wsnt getting enough and i had to resort to using the hospital formula they provided.
does anyone else "feel bad" for not breastfeeding? i know it's better for them in some ways. but with vaccines and the formulas they come out with now, you can get almost the same in formula than you can with breastmilk. you dont have to have a baby latched to your boob to bond with them. in the end, i loved looking down and watching him drink from his bottle. so i know that i'm gonna formula feed the next one. i just dont like feeling so bad about it!

Nothing against formula, but I Just wanted to point out to other potential readers that it is not even close to being the same as breastmilk. With all the medical advancements you don't need to worry about your baby not getting proper nutrition or being malnourished in the better off countries while formula feeding by no means, but it's still not even close to breastmilk.

If you weren't happy breastfeeding then I wouldn't be too upset or feel guilty for choosing to use formula your next child, but I think if you truly want to breastfeed, try again. Every time is different and maybe your next will latch with no problems and it be almost clear sailing We all (Most) go through problems at first, that is why the ones who do get through it and carry on breastfeeding feel so proud, but not everyone has the same extent, or intensity of problems. It's your choice, I just wanted to give a little hope for next time.

which is why i said almost not saying they are the same.

 

[ellie]

you dont need to feel bad ... I know in some places there is massive pressure to bf but no actual support to, so it ends up with mum feeling like its her fault totally and like she failed. Its really wrong.

its your decision however, and the key to not feeling bad is feeling comfortable with your decision. So, as long as you are armed with facts and are sure, theres no reason and no one can 'make you' feel bad if you don't. If you see what I mean.

#I did just want to say though, whatever decision we mums make really ought to be based on facts and not just hearsay. So what you say about formulas/vaccines is not actually true ... although formula does the job, it is in no way anywhere near breastmilk in content or nutrition, because scientists just cannot make it. I just didnt want anyone reading this looking for info thinking that you can buy anything that is similar to breastmilk, because you can't - it is a unique, live food that is still a mystery to those who've tried to replicate it, with a thousand benefits that formula just doesn't have, because the nature of it is that it couldn't. And - Formula companies are very clever in the way they market things, and a lot of people mistakenly think that.

(And I FF my son for the first week, and he had aptimil because I thought it was 'closer to breastmilk' - its not, none of them are. I dont even know where I got that from. Its very subtle.)

Oh and also what Mum2J said. It is so sad that people are put off by a previous bad experience. It's shameful on the part of health professionals.

whatever you decide to do.

 

[bubbles123]

As Ellie said, the problem is BF'ing is hyped hugely antenatally but then (in some areas) no support is provided to actually achieve it. So what you get is scores of guilt ridden women who try they're very best but are then left extremely upset when they 'fail' and have to feed their child something that, as we are constantly told, is sub optimal. Not good for the old mental health
I would try BF'ing again (only if YOU want to!) but please don't feel bad if it doesn't work out. Too many women are having the first few weeks of their baby's life ruined by guilt about BF'ing issues and it's really not right. Good luck with whatever you decide!

 

[New2Bumps]

Similar story here of really wanting to but not being able to but won't type it all up here. In short I had low supply, no support, bad latch, pumped for a month, very stressed and upset, decided to stop and then spent much more time with baby rather than machine and we have bonded amazingly. Needless to say I too am still angry at the whole experience.

You shouldn't feel guilty - don't go through that guilt stage again! Good on you to come to the Formula Feeding section to get advice and support from fellow Formula Feeders - I can see why you didn't post in Baby Club

Formula has everything baby needs in it. Breastmilk has some added extras, but formula gives baby everything they need. I'm not sure how much difference the month of breastmilk made to Ethan (combi fed with Aptamil top ups) but he hasn't been sick yet. My friend breastfed exclusively for 10 months and she is the first to point out how many problems her baby has had, so breastfeeding isn't a signed sealed delivered health stamp. It still differs from baby to baby.

If you have reason not to bf, which you clearly do, then feel secure in the knowledge that your baby will be fantastic without it! x
Breast is best but breastfeeding isn't best if it's not working. Nutrition is best!

Happy mummy is the most important factor of all xxx


Ellie - Aptamil is the easiest to digest I think that's maybe where you got that from. Also, from Ethan being on 100% breastmilk those first few days before I had to start topping up then when he was 100% Aptamil after a month I can tell you his poop didn't change so I think the 'closest to breastmilk' fact comes not from ingredients sake but more from that digestion point of view really. Closest to. Not the same as.

 

[bubbles123]

I found the same with Aptamil when combi feeding. It was the only formula he would take when I was mixed feeding, he used to take it just the same as BM and there was no change in his poo or anything. Aptamil looks very similar to BM when made up (you can tell no difference when you put a bottle of BM and Aptamil next to each other) and seems to be quite easily digested. I think it's quite a light formula whilst some other formulas can be quite heavy, like SMA. Not the same as BM but easy to digest I think and seems to work very well when mix feeding.