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[surprisebaby]

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[sweetlullaby]

Im not sure hun......do what you think is right

Maybe actually wait until LO is here before deciding what to do?

Sorry such a short reply got LO in arms lol

 

[ginma]

I don't realy know, the best you can do is let him know and then it's up to him

 

[Aidedhoney]

I would tell him once bubs is here, then at least you can tell bubs when they are older that you told him.

Good luck hun xxx

 

[Laura2919]

I would send him a text or an email because then he cant come back and say you never told him his child was born.

If he still ignores you then, then when your baby grows up she will know it was her dad who took no interest and you have made every effort to tell him!!

At least then you wouldnt have anything hanging over you. xx

 

[Alexandra91]

Been having the same dilema myself! I think the best way to go about it would be to send him a short text when LO arrives just to let him kno she has been born, no details or anything like that. Then u have given him the opportunity and like the others said you LO will kno that u made the effort and he cant ever throw it back in your face. As much as id like to never have any contact with FOB ive decided thts what im going to do for the sake of LO x

 

[lady_p]

I agree if you tell him when the LO comes along and he does nothing then you are the better person for letting him know and you will have a clear conscience knowing that you did everything you could for your baby to know their father.

 

[lou_w34]

I agree with above, if you tell him you can always tell lo that you tried.
But i understand you not wanting to tell him aswell, because that is what i would want to do!

 

[sib85]

hi surprisbaby! i was in exactly the same situation but towards the end of my pregnancy i got pre esclampsia and was admitted into hospital with very high bp i did txt him to let him know but he never text was me back! i had to have a crash c-section so i wasnt awake when my daughter born ! Someone put on my fb saying congrats and thats where the FOB saw that i had OUR daughter!!! i dont regret not telling him and still up to this day he has never come to see her or given any money to me for nappies etc etc

 

[Trying4ababy]

I agree if you tell him when the LO comes along and he does nothing then you are the better person for letting him know and you will have a clear conscience knowing that you did everything you could for your baby to know their father.

I agree 100% with the above post

 

[MissE007]

I've been wondering this exact thing myself for months and was about to post the same question. I'm two days over my due date now. Haven't spoken to him since November and had one small reply to my hundred of calls and texts. He knows my due date and I've heard nothing. More or less what I was expecting.

I feel the same way about the satisfaction of just leaving them wondering...I'm sure they all expect you to contact them the second it happens to let them know and if they don't hear anything there must be a part of them that is curious as to what is going on. And I'm annoyed because I know at the same time he is perfectly able to contact me if he wants to.

Then again, if you don't say anything it can mean its not 'real' to them. At least telling him means he'll know the baby is alive and well. Plus there is always the chance that he may want to see her...

Most people will tell you to let him know, and maybe its the best thing because then the ball's in his court from there and he can never argue that you just ran off and didn't tell him. Or maybe like SweetLullaby said wait and see how you feel when things start happening...

I personally have decided I won't tell my FOB. Just the fact that my due date has come and gone and I haven't heard a peep from him has made me feel that is the best option for me.

Whatever you do good luck in the future, I hope he grows a pair and comes round eventually.

 

[surprisebaby]

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[surprisebaby]

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[surprisebaby]

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[surprisebaby]

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[MissE007]

I've been wondering this exact thing myself for months and was about to post the same question. I'm two days over my due date now. Haven't spoken to him since November and had one small reply to my hundred of calls and texts.
I feel the same way about the satisfaction of just leaving them wondering...I'm sure they all expect you to contact them the second it happens to let them know and if they don't hear anything there must be a part of them that is curious as to what is going on. And I'm annoyed because I know at the same time he is perfectly able to contact me if he wants to.

Then again, if you don't say anything it can mean its not 'real' to them. At least telling him means he'll know the baby is alive and well. Plus there is always the chance that he may want to see her...

Most people will tell you to let him know, and maybe its the best thing because then the ball's in his court from there and he can never argue that you just ran off and didn't tell him. Or maybe like SweetLullaby said wait and see how you feel when things start happening...

I personally have decided I won't tell my FOB. Just the fact that my due date has come and gone and I haven't heard a peep from him has made me feel that is the best option for me.

Whatever you do good luck in the future, I hope he grows a pair and comes round eventually.

Thanks. I feel like you really understand cos you are pretty much in the same situation as me. We have both made so much effort to include the fob's

I am sure they're expecting us to contact them as soon as our LOs are born, and I have this horrible feeling that if I do just email him or whatever saying she's born he's just going to ignore me just like every other message i send him and I am sick of being ignored esp with telling him something as important and special as our daughter being born. I feel it should be him asking me how I am etc.

It's such a horrible thing to do to someone; just ignore them. I think I would be able to deal with it so much better with this whole situation if there had been communication. Being ignored is the worst.

I almost feel like suggesting that I add your fob on as a friend (ha ha) and find out stuff for you. Or get my sister to!

I wonder how we will feel once our babies are born? Like will it be easier or harder to deal with the lack of communication with fob. Or maybe if I get a new boyfriend then I won't care... I don't know. I hate it cos its so unresolved and I hate things being unresolved. any signs of impending labour? xx

Funnily enough when I last posted I was in labour without even realising! All I can say to anyone is never ignore two days of on/off 'minor' braxton hicks that are coming every ten minutes or you'll end up just about making it to hospital for the fastest (most pain free! : D ) labour ever!

So I guess that's the end of the story for me. I hate the fact that things have to be left like this but I am feeling too much pride to try anymore - think its time to move forward and leave him to enjoy his pathetic life.

Good luck with your lil one, I see you're virtually there now! I hope the fool realises that missing out on your first child will haunt him forever in the long-term. I think you'll know instinctively what decision to make when it happens

 

[surprisebaby]

x

 

[mommy2baby2]

Do you know his parents or anyone in his family? If you do you should inform them. I've never met an inlaw (either the siblings or parents) where someone didn't want to be involved. They can be a HUGE ally

I think you should let him know, call him and leave a voicemail (since he prob won't answer). Be blunt and tell him something along the lines of "regardless of your feelings towards me, in the end this IS your son/daughter and ultimately you will be held responsible...I understand you want to take the deadbeat dad role but if you miss out on your first child's birth and early life you WILL come to regret it...whether 1 year from now, 5 years or 10 years, you WILL regret it (all deadbeat dads do eventually).
"I would like for you to be involved but if you chose not to be physically you will be forced to financially. I don't think you want to make the next 18 years miserable on yourself so I suggest you do some quick growing up and accept the responsibility you have helped create. Call me because your son/daughter is due any day now."

No need to sugar coat it and be nice to him, if you want him at the birth tell him. Do not let him think he's going to get away with not being a deadbeat dad, inform him you WILL pursue child support (many hospitals will help you fill out application before you even leave, just ask). Make the ass pay hon!

Good luck and congrats on your sweet